...he Died In My Arms

I need to write this to get my feelings out. My friend and husband of  is gone. We were driving home back in October when our car was struck by a car driving the wrong way. it was a dark wet night and my husband tried to avoid the oncoming car. In doing so he probably spared me my life but now I am without him. Kind people pulled him from the wreck and he died in my arms on the side of the highway.

I don't know what to do without him, I feel guilty everyday. If i laugh, smile or feel good I feel it is wrong. I used to be so happy.

lonelyjess lonelyjess
26-30, F
12 Responses Feb 11, 2010

Thank you everyone so much for your kind words. I believe you have all helped me to turn a little corner and I see some light at the end of the tunnel! This week I have been concentrating on caring for myself. Eating properly, trying to sleep at the right time and some exercise. Exercise helps work out frustration I am finding. Although I am not on here too much I appreciate everything from you all....Thanks!

Make him proud.

im so sorry, my husband also died right in front of me, our 15 yr old daughter and our 12 yr old son<br />
and my brother n law, my husbands brother., i did not for a single minute believe he was dead, <br />
death was the absolute last thing i believed it to be., not until about 2.5 to 3 hrs. later when the<br />
emergency room on call doctors called us all in, and pronounced my husband dead, due to a <br />
blood clot. impossible for me to wrap my brains around, it is now 17 months later, my husband<br />
died at 45, our daughter is now 17, our son 13. i am 44 yrs old. im missing him so much, all this<br />
talk and advertising about valentines day, is getting to me, so badly, i miss him, its so hard to <br />
have a valentine for 18.5 yrs. than out of no where lose him. it will be my 2nd. i more aware of it<br />
the first one, i was completely numb, and in shock, memories are priceless, and they will<br />
always be yours, no one can ever take them away from you, cherish them, keep them very close<br />
to your heart, you will in time find yourself, and in time, get thru and on to the other side, were<br />
all there together, on this ever so painful grieving journey, but i believe, we have to go thru this<br />
awfully dark painful tunnel to get to the other side, and only god knows what that side entails for<br />
us., the unknown is scary. i send you a big hug, because i know at this time you could really<br />
use one. be strong<br />

I feel with you.If you feel you can't take it day by day take it minute by minute and know that you are never truly alone. Rev.Naamah

Hey there. <br />
I guess you already know that your feelings could possibly be lingering around longer than you'd want. My advice to this is just to let it happen, but also, be aware. Be aware that you were so happy, and that you are struggling with something now, but most importantly, be aware that you will be happy again. It could seem far away, especially now. But remember that everything will be alright.<br />
<br />
In the mean time, let out all of your emotions. Keep a diary, talk about it with other people, "talk with him" in terms of goodbye maybe if you believe in it, maybe work out some emotions through music, poetry, art.... Don't be afraid to do whatever you please, whatever tickles your pickle, fires up your lights.<br />
<br />
Just do as you please, let it all out. Eventually, you'll have the feeling of "moving on". The feeling of, never closing the chapter but learning to live with it.

sorry about your husband ....but I am sure that he wants you to be happy and not sad all the time ... when we love someone we destroy ourselves just to make them happy ... it is the same when parents look after their children ..... Umm . I always Imagine if I died and my family became sad all the time ... I really don't want them to feel in that way , I will feel happy if they were happy ... in the same time I want them to not forget about me .<br />
<br />
but I understand your feeling *lonelyjess* .. it is too much to lose someone you love and you have many memories with ..... god be with you ....and may his soul rest in peace .

Laurie, i have been puttingpictures into albums this last week to keep busy. It is therapeutic as well as making sure I preserve these memories.

Thankful for your kind words and support, I feel they came from your heart and I thankyou for sharing with me your sad experience. I know he would want me to move on and love again and I am going to get out of my rut and do something! Thankyou

I have wonderful memories of my dad; we were very close. He was a physicist, and I remember him taking me back to the lab after supper to check on equipment when I was four. I would have done anything to have followed in his footsteps, but I’m not good at advanced calculus or tensor analysis. At some point I had to stop thinking about him all the time; it was too painful to bear. I think I did that by “forgetting” lots of things. Those memories are still there, but I can barely access them. <br />
<br />
The long-term injury to me is that I have abandonment issues. It’s difficult for me to believe that someone will stick around in my life. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but it’s hard to get rid of, just the same. Just like it’s difficult for you to shed your undeserved, irrational guilt. <br />
<br />
I don’t know if losing someone that we love through death really breaks our hearts, but it certainly leaves terrible voids. I don’t think they can be filled, but they can become less painful. It takes time though. You will come out of this a stronger woman. You will love again.

I hope that you have some memories of him, being so young.

My father died suddenly when he was 45 and my mother was 38. I don’t know how mom got through the grief. I know that it was over five years before she dated. It was over ten before she remarried. I was eleven and could only stuff it away. We were a stoic family. The few times that I’ve talked to her about him, she’s happy to talk, but still tears up at 82. Oh, how grand life could have been with him alive!

Thankyou.it feels better just to start talking