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I Am a Widow

Letting Go Of His Friends

By: Erinlee
Written on February 14th, 2010

I have just realised that friends i am trying so hard to keep, dont want to be my friend, they were his friends and although they promised to always be here for me and the kids i think now that time has passed, 14 months, they are left with me.  I believe they loved my husband and valued his friendship but they would not choose me as a friend.

I was very hurt when i realised this, but through this clarity comes peace, instead of being upset at being excluded from things i need to learn to accept that they dont want me there, let it go and move on with my own friendships.  i know my girlfriends would loose touch with by husband if the situation was reversed, so i need to accept reality and stop trying to force myself on them, sure  i can be polite when i see them but i have to stop  getting upset when they dont invite me over with other people as they would have if my husband had not died

 His death just keeps changing my life, the ripple effect through everything is now showing itself

 I remember saying to a friend just before my husband died that i love my life, how cocky that now sounds

i hate my life now, but onward we must go and survive as best we can

By: Erinlee
Age: 41-45
446 people have read this story

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  • dandelyon
    dandelyon

    It has been two years since your post. I trust you have found peace with your decision to move on toward those who still wish you to be included in their lives. The ripples you speak of reach so far from the center and never seem to end. It's called the "new normal", life after the change. It is so hard to accept but, so necessary to heal and move forward. I trust you have found acceptance with those who cherish you for who you are.

    Jul 4, 2012
    1 like