Just Became a Widow After 26 Years

My husband of 26 years just died 3 weeks ago.  We did EVERYTHING together, so it's so very hard to get used to the idea that now I'm alone in everything.  I need to develop a new network of friends, but I'm not sure what is the best way to do that.  If anyone here found a good, effective way to do that, please post.

leopard28 leopard28
51-55
8 Responses Mar 3, 2009

I am so sorry for your lost! This may not be all that you can do, however one thing is to work on seeing him again…Sounds crazy? <br />
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The Marvelous New World of God’s Making <br />
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The Dead Return<br />
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Jesus did more than cure the sick and heal the lame. He also brought back persons from the grave. He thus demonstrated the wonderful power of resurrection that God had given to him. Do you recall the occasion when Jesus came to the house of a man whose daughter had died? Jesus said to the dead girl: “Maiden, I say to you, Get up!” With what result? “Immediately the maiden rose and began walking.” On seeing that, the people there “were beside themselves with great ecstasy.” They could hardly contain their happiness!—Mark 5:41, 42; see also Luke 7:11-16; John 11:1-45.<br />
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In the new world, “there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Acts 24:15) At that time Jesus will use his God-given power to raise the dead because, as he said, “I am the resurrection and the life. He that exercises faith in me, even though he dies, will come to life.” (John 11:25) He also said: “All those in the memorial tombs [in God’s memory] will hear his [Jesus’] voice and come out.”—John 5:28, 29.<br />
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Great will be the joy earth wide when group after group of dead persons come back to life to join their loved ones! No longer will there be obituary columns to bring sadness to the survivors. Instead, there may well be just the opposite: announcements of newly resurrected ones to bring joy to those who loved them. So no more funerals, funeral pyres, crematoriums, or cemeteries!<br />
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I hope this helps!

I was recommended a website to join to help with your loss - http://www.groww.com - Grief Recovery Online<br />
for All Bereaved<br />
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I discovered there are people who share their pain with your pain and it helped me in that I did not feel so alone, and I discovered there are so many of us who can support each other, understand the awful pain we are all experiencing. My heart goes out to you. God Bless.

I feel your loss and pain. May 11 will be my 3rd year of loss after 22 yrs of marriage and while it has gotten easier to deal with I too still have those moments that come out of no where. My worst one is something happens and I pick up the cell phone to tell him about it. The day he died I had just talked to him 15 minutes before. He was in a great mood and talking about what he was wanting for dinner. Two hours later his boss called and told me. He had no symptoms of any kind but his heart "just quit". I do not know which is worse, knowing it's coming or just sudden but either way it takes time and family/friends to get you through what you think will never end. EVERYONE above me gave great advice. God Bless you at this unbelievably hard time.

Thanks for the kind words from someone who's been there too. A lot of the advice I get is similar, so I have to believe there's some truth to it.

I am sorry for your loss. It is very difficult at first to imagine going on and then when you begin to think you can guilt anchors you down. Take it slow, allow yourself to cry at what may seem inappropriate times, but, allow yourself to laugh, too! A couple of days ago I came home from my first clothes shopping trip and was really feeling ok. I walked in the house felt the overwhelming emptiness and spent the next ten minutes sobbing. It's hard to tell when that kind of thing happens-when it does, just let it. As I said in my posting, knowing that these things will happen doesn't make it any easier to go through them. A favorite quote of mine is "Life is what happens while you are making other plans" Now it has happend to us. Please believe that it will get better for you-trust yourself and your instincts. Remember that there are people that care about you. Lean on them-don't be too proud to ask for help-consider finding a support group or counselor, clergy, or good friend to talk to. Good luck on your journey-I wish you all the best!

I'm so sorry for your loss. One thing that I can tell you is that you must rely on your friends. Mine have carried me through the last 2 years. I haven't been very successful at making many new friends but that is more because of me than anything else. Almost everyone who I have reached out to has responded tenfold. If you belong to a church that is a good place to start. The other comments have given good advice also. Don't rush to do anything, trust your own feelings and follow your instincts. You have to do what is right for you. Please feel free to tap me on the shoulder whenever you need.

That is so sad..I hope you are alright. Join clubs if you had a special interest. If you don't work, find a job where you meet the public. Have a vacation where many people get together..cruise.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. One way that allows you many oppurtunities is to involve yourself into as many social situations. Be vocal, warm, and inviting and people will be lining up to be your friend. Meeting people through family and other friends is also a very good way to do this