Lonely Wife To Career Driven Traveling Husband

I am a former hairdresser of 25 plus years. I married my second husband at 36 and he was 29. I had married such a romantic man who was different than any other man I had dated. We were and are from two different worlds. I'm outgoing, social and have fun anywhere with whatever class of people. My husband is more business and high class standards. We grew apart due to spiteful differences and me dropping my career to have twins at 40. It was busy, but great at first and then we moved for his job out of state. He never understood how it was for me. That in turn caused him to talk to 20yr olds and have a relationship with one in Indonesia. There was no sex involved, but conversing on line for a month with "I love you" and had only met for 5 days. He said it wasn't sexual but she made him feel important and I use to. Well, when a woman becomes a mom of twins and her romantic husband stops being romantic , things change for the worse. I wanted a divorce, but he convinced me to stay and we are much better. It's still hard for me even after almost 3 yrs. he also watched **** the entire11 years behind my back , so with that on top of affair made me feel even more degrading. We have become closer because of this but still difficult now since he still travels and I catch him looking at younger women but he denighs it. How do you truly know if they can be trusted??? I support him totally now and make him feel loved and important do I hope that's enough. I just feel lonely and unworthy without a career and as smart of a brain as my husband has. Not much to talk about from my day with the kids. Living in two different worlds!!
Lmgoode64 Lmgoode64
46-50, F
2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

I know how you feel.Lonely and unworthy. Having worked all the way from 16 to 39 and now for the last 4 years, just a mum to 2 ,( 8 and 12 years old), with a career driven husband, who now works away , i feel like my life has disappeared.
The "i love you " girl in Indonesia, stroked his ego.( and hopefully nothing else.) How easy it is to have an Avatar in these hook ups, he pretends he is a different man , she can pretend she is who ever she wants ( who's going to know the difference )
It's easy to feel special to a stranger ( who doesn't know your real self , who doesn't have to wash your dirty underwear etc.) It's a fantasy world.
You cant compete with this , and you don't have too.
I know how it hurts , even if no sex is involved. How could he confide in someone else and not the woman he married????
I know what you mean about nothing to talk about, after a day with the kids.
I actively listen to my husbands work day ( about people i will never meet , and things i can barely picture in my head ) and when he asks me about my day , i tell him what the kids are up to, and the jobs i did today and that's the end of the conversation.
Here i am about to tell you to go back to work and have a life of your own , to balance your relationship, so you can feel worthy, and to be his equal.......yet i still haven't done that for myself. At least we would have our own life, one that exists without our kids or husband in it. Just like they have.

Keep your head up!! I don't know how I got to your story honestly, I am so new to this website I am new here for support due to the fact that my boyfriend is in the army :/ your Story broke my heart.. That's horrible.. And you stayed by his side he is a fool for not recognizing what he has next to him ;) I don't know what your Faith just try praying about it God is good and he knows what you are going through and he will make away for you!! :) your tears ate not in Vain :)