Let's Hear It For The Wittols! For Not All Cuckolds Are Wittols...

I was Googling "wittol" to see if there are any other support groups, and found a blog [http://www.goodbyedysfunction.com/2009/04/cuckold-wittol-cuckquean/] that expressed the author's surprise upon discovery of the cuckold lifestyle. He did, however, claim that "cuckold" and "wittol" were interchangeable, and since the site ranks so highly -- even above this EP "I am a Wittol" group (!) -- I thought I ought to correct him.

I thought I would share what I wrote with the group:
A wittol is a cuckold who *is aware of his situation, and tolerates it*. In some cases, he even encourages it. So, all wittols are cuckolds, but by no means all cuckolds — in fact, probably a minority — are wittols.

In terms of knowledge and accceptance, I can think of four types of cuckold:

(1) A man whose wife has sex with other men, but he is unaware of it.

(2) A man whose wife has sex with other men, and he is aware of it, but disapproves (this situation often leads to divorce unless the affair is terminated).

(3) A man whose wife has sex with other men, and he is aware of it and tolerates it. It may not be what he would have wished for, but he accepts the situation.

(4) A man whose wife has sex with other men, and he is aware of it and actively encourages it. Perhaps it was even his idea!

All of the above are cuckolds, but only cases (3) and (4) are wittols.

I am a disabled man married to a woman with a high sex drive. Before I became disabled, I could satisfy my wife sexually, and now I can’t.

I personally was a (1), then a (2), now I am a (3) leaning towards a (4).

The landscape of human sexuality is very broad!

Anyway, that may seem a nitpicky point, but I think it's an important distinction. I *used* to be an unhappy cuckold, and now I am a happy (well, content at least) wittol.

*Some* cuckolds are to be pitied and sympathized with. *All* wittols are to be celebrated!

Yay wittols!
wittolPaul wittolPaul
46-50, M
10 Responses Aug 15, 2010

Yup! I'm a #4. Don't need the humiliation but I love to see my woman pleasured!!

I'm a 4 but with a caveat. I have had this 'kink' that is best described as a m/f/m *********. I have lived it out with a previous GF, and it worked out great! The thought of my GF with another guy, with me not around, does not turn me on at all. It only turns me on when I'm with her in a *********.

Thank you Paul that was interesting and helpful, I found out from your post here that I am a # 4 and proud of it. My wife has a high sex drive also and since I can't keep up I told her I would be ok with her having sex with others. I didn't want to be a #1 or2 so I thought hard one day to understand why she cheated on other men she was with even me back in the day when we were having sex alot. I ask her some questions and thought on her answers and realized she's a nympho and her sex drive is out of wack.<br />
So now I help her find others and soon her requests I am always there and watch. <br />
Again thank you for enlightening me.<br />
<br />
Bill the proud now wittol

I'm a 4. I am ambivalent about the humiliation aspect. My profile logo reflects an aspect of my enjoyment of this activity. <br />
I believe that, deep down, there is something inherently attractive to all wittols / (accepting) cuckolds about being humiliated, about another man having your spouse/girlfriend. But that's on a deeper, analytical psychological basis. On the surface (superficially), some enjoy sharing while some accept and some resent the partner's extracurricular sexual activity.<br />
As for me, I've participated in 3 some sex with my wife and a friend many times, but I've also been held at arms length when another lover of hers balked at her suggestion of a 3 some. In those liaisons I have only her desc<x>ription (and the evidence of a cummy *****) to relate. It is in this situation that humiliation plays a prominent role - when she calls me to say he's left, or she comes home, full of his ***, and wants me to bring her off orally. She tells me in explicit detail her encounter, all the while holding my head tight between her legs as I fulfill her wishes. Her ******* are volcanic. So, too, is the sex following.

I don't like humiliation, since I always like domination. We have sex regularly and enjoys it a lot. Don't know why, I have a strong urge to see my wife having sex with a stranger. I really want to see her moaning with pleasure and enjoys him. We always have it in our sex time discussions like a booster. Initially she was not enjoying it, but now I can surely tell that whenever we discuss another man she gives an excellent ****. I prefer a black guy to have her. Your comments are welcome.

I started as a 4. I have always had a very strong sex drive and not jealous. I have not got into the humiliations stuff but love to see my wife (then girlfriend) get off. to watch her being pleasured by someone else is living out a fantasy. She told me early in our dating that she has cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had and that turned me on. I am turned on by the jealousy, it makes my heart pound with excitement. She once went out to a bar without me and later that night went home with two guys that double teamed her. when i called her and she said she was hanging out with two guys from the bar i got so horny i had to jack off before leaving to join them. that night she was triple teamed. i am so proud of her. We used to have a neighbor that would come over all the time and it always ended up with me watching him eat her out and more. such a turn on. <br />
this was while we were dating. now were married with two kids. i am looking forward to her being slutty again. just the thought of her cheating on me or letting a stranger slide his hands under her skirt makes me so horny.<br />
since it hasnt happened for a while i keep fantasizing and want to tell people the storys.

I was married to a woman for 26 yrs who had sex with several men a night. I was in the military. My wife went to the barracks nightly and had sex with any men who wanted her. I was in law enforcement. We moved every three yrs or so. Every base we went to my wife had sex with most every guy on base. I was aware of it and was proud to know that she had sex with numerous guys every night.
It is a real ego boost when most every guy you come in contact with has been with your wife several times, and they know she is your wife. When most every guy you come in contact with tells you how good your wife is, it makes you feel good. You know she is your wife and they know she is your wife. They know she loves you, and they also know that because she loves you, she has sex with them.
To me, when my wife had sex with the other men she was having sex with me. I felt loved when I would walk through the barracks and would see her doing multiple men. I like when they told me how lucky I was while they were plunging themselves in her. My wife never had men wear condoms. We both believed that took away from the sexual experience.
We have five children from our marriage and neither of us know who the fathers are. It didn't matter then and it doesn't matter now.
When I got out of the military my wife slowed down on the amount of men she had sex with. The opportunities weren't there. She also had gotten older and had felt that she had done her share, per se. The sex between her and I slowed down as well. I always saw her as more of a woman when she had sex with others. To me, a woman who has sex with any man who wants her is a real woman. When she had sex with multiple men on a consistant basis, I her as attractive and desirable.When she stopped having sex with men every night I kind of lost interest in her. Three years after I got out of the military my wife and I divorced.
Since then, I have remarried and have been married to a woman who had three kids from three different men. When we met she was under the philosophy that you date one man at a time. Three days after we met my current wife and I went to a swing club. She had sex with 8 men at the club. This was a new experience for her. When we left I talked her into going to an adult theater. The theater was crowded. My then to be wife was intimidated by all the men in the theater, but allowed 54 men to have her in the theater that night. I knew this was the woman for me.
On the way out of the theater my to be wife asked me if we could have a few of the men go home with us to her house. I agreed. My current wife is 19 yrs younger than I am. We have been married for 7 yrs now. Since that night at the swing club we have had an agreement that she will have sex with other men at least every weekend and at least 4 nights during the week. I have been fortunate with my current wife in that she has taken on several regulars throughout our marriage. Currently my wife has 11 regular lovers. We have been fortunate that her lovers have been okay with her having multiple lovers, often at the same time. I am greateful that her lovers like her to do gang bangs. Our neighbor is one of her lovers. That makes it easy for all of us. Her other lovers live within the city. We have a policy that if you want sex . . .come on over. My wife has agreed that she will have sex with any man who wants her. And she has. It is and has been a pride thing for me to have as many men possible know how amazing my wife is in bed.
We go to the adult theater every Friday night. We have made it a point to be known for being there every Friday. And the guy that own the theater has told us that since we have been going there every Friday that business has really picked up on Fridays.
My wife does any man who wants her and we never let men use condoms. I have to admit I like the way she feels after having intercourse with several men. She has told me that having multiple men want her and to have sex with her makes her feel desired, useful and beautiful. My wife has admitted to me many times that she is glad that I not only allow her to have sex with others, but actually encourage her to do so. To be honest, if she were to stop having sex with other men, I would not desire her as much, or want her as I do now.
To me, if a woman is not sexual with multiple men, she is not a real woman.
I feel on the top of the world when we are out and she flirts with and approaches other men. I also like that pretty much every day she has sex with a new guy. That makes me feel that she really does love me. To me, if she ever stopped having sex with other men, that would be her way of telling me that she no longer loved me. To me, if your wife loves you, she will not only smell of sex with other men, she will do it as often as she can. I love watching other men please her and she please them. It makes me feel loved. I do not get into the humiliation. And any man who tried to humiliate me would never have my wife again. I am a wittol and have always been. I have sex with my wife every day. I am not a cuck. I am a very fortunate man who has a wife who knows how to love me . . . and that is by having sex with different men every day as well as having sex with me afterward.

Further to my post earlier this year, my wife has had sex with at least 20 different men just this year. There have been a few ********** where she insists she is "doing me a favour" -- but she has reacted badly after some, claiming I ruined them (not true) because I couldnt'read her mind and other things. I am also to stop feeling neglected and just accept things. Sex between us is rare, although there was one very long session a month ago after she came home from a swinger's party. She is now investigating being a domme / mistress with several slaves. Part of me enjoys being with a "hot wife" but the other part hates being left out and ignored. I love the woman, I am there for her and she knows it. She does have a mental illness (borderline) and I'm sure that is a big factor at play here.

Well, I started as #1 when fiancée cuckolded me with her former classmate. When I figured it out I became #3. As I got over the shock (and yet she doesn't know that I know it) as it turned into arousal, I'm supposed to be #4 except that she stopped seeing the guy after she became my wife and I haven't told her yet that I'm OK with her to go and have sex with a lover.<br />
Perhaps because her infidelity made her so sexy, but if I explicitly tell her, that would be a different kind of thrill.

Interesting definitions. I am definitely #3 but there is also overlap to #2 and #4 at times. On an emotional level I am probably not a Wittol because I hate being left out. While I have done it many times, I do not like to just watch my wife have sex with other men. I would much rather be in there participating. She has sex with many men "on the side" but she gets angry with me if I even mention that I might want to find someone myself. So I tolerate it to keep the peace.

I believe a cuckold also likes to be humiliated, another difference with wittol who does not.