What is clear in our situation is that, there is no predicting factor for the resulting SM.
Many REFUSERS seem to be good at playing the game during the courtship period and then, when the ring is on the finger, Mr Hyde seems to come out of hiding!

Having never had any romantic relationship before marriage (my H is my first and, what a WONDERFUL experience that's turned out to be!!!), I'm wondering,

Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all....OR, in our context - 
Is it better to have experienced good sex and intimacy than to have never had it and therefore never (physically) know what you're missing?

eternalhope eternalhope
41-45, F
4 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Kitza - I can NEVER accuse my H of that!!! Never had anything so, he couldn't really take it away. LOL<br />
I resent that, I saved myself for him and I ended up with THIS??????

I don't know...maybe it's better to never have had it. My H and I had an amazing sex life for years. Then all of the sudden it stopped. No warning, no explanation. So now I long for those days all of the time and resent him for so abruptly taking that away from me.

EH I am afrad that is a question that can not truly be answered. If you do not expereince it with someone else then you will never know what you are missing or you can just live life as it is now and keeping on thinking about what it might be like.

My husband was my first as well, but I still know what I am missing. I would like to be able to say that if I had known what a good relationship was, I wouldn't have stayed in this crappy one, but there are a lot of people in the SM forum that did have good sex before. The only constant I can find is that love makes you very very blind.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure that it's worse, but I would really really like to know what good sex is, what it's like to be desired and wanted. Maybe if I had had it before, I could believe in finding it again or even know that what I want exists. Maybe then I could take the leap.