Sexless....yep That's Me!!

I have been married for 5 years. My husband and I haven't had real sex for about 3 years. We have sex about every other month. I don't know what to do anymore. We had a great sex life for a couple of years, then it just died. I find myself so resentful all the time. When he approaches me to have sex I say no thanks....I am just so mad anymore that sex is on his terms. I am 30 years old....I want to have sex at least once a that asking too much? He is content with snuggling in bed....I am not. I crave being touched intimately. i crave physical contact and I am getting none. I can count on 1 hand the amount of sex we have had in the past year. He just does not every want to have it. What am I doing wrong? Are my boobs too small....are they too big? I wish I knew why my husband did not want to have sex with me. he keeps insisting he does want to have sex with me....but still he only wants to have it at most once every other month. i find myself thinking of being with other people. I just need physical contact so badly. I just want to be touched by my husband again.
sexless101 sexless101
36-40, F
4 Responses Aug 1, 2010

I think your husband is getting sex elsewhere. He might well be bisexual and getting blown on a regular basis.

You should be touched, caressed, and made love to... as often as you desire. If your husband wont, then find the pleasure you need.

I agree with sandnsurf.<br />
Why not give him sex on "his terms" to get him back in t he mood?<br />
Then you will be able to 'dictate' (wrong word perhaps) but at least have a captive audience, to put forward your requirements to him.<br />
Maybe, he is just out of the habit!<br />
Go away for a weekend somewhere and dress as sexy as you dare (no bra.But that is just my preference!)<br />
Let him see that you are still attractive to other men, and it might just bring back the spark into your sex life.<br />
After all, he was attracted to YOU in the first place!<br />
We have been married for 20 years and we still occasionally need a 'kick-start' to our sex life.<br />
It is not unusual and is neither partner's fault.<br />
Maybe you are working too hard and forgotten the sex aspect of your married life together?<br />
As I say, get a weekend away together, and show him what you are worth to others.<br />
That should get him going - without blame on either side.<br />
Good luck!<br />
Kevin<br />
Get in touch please with pics. If you don't have any 'naughty' photos, then ask him to take some of you!<br />
That should get him wondering..."Why?"<br />

Hi. I am not sure how to read your post. I read it twice. 1st you say that you don't want to have sex when your husband approaches you because it is on his terms only. And that it isn't often enough? And then you say you want your husband to want you. I know the struggle you feel. Trying to figure out what to do and why he doesn't want to have sex more often. Have you had any frank discussions with him? Is he aware that you need more and that you need it on your terms? At least some of the time? <br />
<br />
I hope it gets better for you. But in order for it to get better you need to communicate your needs. Speak here with us, but also with your husband. Good luck.