To Stay Or Not To Stay

I have been reading and going to counseling...at my age should I just be settling for the fact that it isn't about sex anymore..and being single would't change this. At a certain age...you become sexless..whether married or single? Or am I being naive...and shouldn't throw in the towel at 50 at ever have sex again...and no my leaving my husband would not just be about the loss of sex, but the intimacy and the desire and the feeling of hoplessness...I feel lonely most of the time.
Thoughts

kezzysue kezzysue
46-50, F
6 Responses May 10, 2012

Hi,<br />
<br />
Me too - am in the same boat. 53 and horny as hell. Married to someone older and the intimacy and sex has dwindled from our marriage. Trouble is I have so much to lose from leaving including the fact that my kids are only 14 and 16. I think people in their fifties often have a very strong libido - mine is stronger now than it was in my thirties. I read a poll recently which showed that the peak age for women feeling confident about themselves was 52. I also feel lonely a lot of the time.

I am in a similar situation as you...we love them but feel no intimate, emotional connection; we don't even have a little physical intimacy to help us to be in denial and almost feel that we are loved...so we feel unloved. hugs to you...<br />
Being single WOULD change my situation as I would date again...I am not yet 50 and I have a LOT of love and passion within me, if my husband doesn't want it, he is a fool.

Go find a real man......get rid of the Nancy boys.

At fifty seven I left my sexless marriage and at sixty I'm living very happily in a relationship that is filled with both sex and intimacy. You are far too young to assume your future does not hold what you want. Be brave - "fortune favours the brave" as the old saying goes.

I agree--it's never JUST about sex. <br />
<br />
I often think my life would be simpler if my sex drive just went away. Would that solve my habitual affairs? Hmmm maybe. But I still enjoy taking a weekend away with another man who is attracted to me, goes out with me and treats me like a godess and appreciate me...so yea I'd probably still do it even if I wasn't just into sex.<br />
It's really hard to give up a marriage after you have invested so long. My parents had many crappy years inbwtween yet they stayed together & I think they were happy they did. I am not my parents but it definately set an expectation in my mind.<br />
<br />
Don't leave until you are totally sure you are ready--whatever the reasons. <br />
<br />
I am waiting until I am toatlly sure it's the right thing for me, my family and not sure if that day will come & if it doesn't I'll feel good that I did it on my own terms...unless he leaves first of course. <br />
<br />
A lot of people advise me I should leave b/c it's the 'right thing to do' & my husband is aware of what I do anyway but neither of us wants to leave. So make sure you're not leaving unless it feels right to do so.

50 is way too long to think that sex is over,intimacy is gone,passion is no more.People have all that in their 70's or later even.ok <br />
Women seem to become more aware of their sexual needs later in life,like late 30's to early 50ties is when they have the strongest drive.<br />
So now the question is what do you want to do,what do you feel you can live with,not live with?<br />
If you need someone to talk more about this just message me,my name is Rob.