How I Would Advertise My Man To Sell Him Off...

Man for sale, all offers will be considered. Asking price negotiable. This 1962 model has only been used a few times. Hard to start, may need repairs. Good at holding down the sofa, and terrific ice cream, cookie, or potato chip disposal system. This man will bring home a regular paycheck and promptly spend it all on eBay, but at least you won't have to support him. Much. Enjoys reading, watching television, sleeping, and is great at eye rolling, pouting, and general malaise. His interests include the US army history, US warfare history, US presidential history, and serial killers. This man will keep watch over the home while you go out with friends, go visit relatives, attend any sort of family or social gatherings, and will not question where you have been or who you were with, so long as he doesn't have to go. Maintenance required: 6 daily medications, a 12 pack of diet soda per day, frequent servings of spaghetti, subscriptions to Consumer Digest, Newsweek, and American Rifleman. Comes with guns, but doesn't actually shoot them. Also comes with tools, but cannot fix anything. Will need approximately 350 square feet of shelf space for books, even though he has a kindle. He will keep your DVR tidy by erasing your programs regularly, and will replace them with episodes of Criminal Minds, or anything about World War 2.

Make offer soon!
FraidNot FraidNot
41-45, F
10 Responses May 14, 2012

E-BAY<br />
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cheap almost new had very little use

Frustrated- thank you very much! I think finding the humor in it helps me stay sane! Glad you enjoyed it!

Lol i was at work and you just made my afternoon. Could not stop laughing even my colleagues new i was reading something funny.

At first I thought, who could be worse than my husband. Then I read about yours. Mine at least goes places, without me, but at least he goes.

Mine just hates people. He is a miserable hag of a man.

Hate is such a waste of time. Love is so much more fun. Does he do anything that is good? Maybe he needs a lot of encouragement to become something. Is he wasting your life?

Yes. He is wasting my life. No doubt about it!

Maybe you can lease him with an option to buy, not that anyone would

You just never know...he does have some good points. Maybe he'd be just right for someone out there. It just doesn't seem to be me...

Some guys are just meant to be alone

He should be. And may be that way sometime...

Ha ha ... has the bidding war started?

Not a single offer...can you believe it?!

I wonder if I can wholesale him out to an older female for simple companionship

Now that might make a better pair! Do you ever think they live vicariously through us, because we are actually ALIVE???!!!

I wonder if I can wholesale him out to an older female for simple companionship

LOL This is great! I live in farm country and there's an old joke about the farmer who puts in a personal ad: "Hardworking single farmer looking for wife. Must have her own tractor. Send picture of tractor."<br />
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Damn, wish I hadn't answered that ad ........

Yeah... And I didn't even get a tractor out of the deal! Geesh!

How about: "free to a good home?"

Or.. All sales final, no refund, no xchange. In fine print, of course!

That's why i love this board. It's good for the emotional and financial end's of the relationship! LOL