Register

I Am a Woman In a Sexless Marriage

I Pretend

By: An EP User
Written on June 10th, 2012
I fake to get along with my husband .....

I used to try to talk to him about why there is no sex in our marriage ...

I used to complain all the time .. about why he would not do anything with me,or go anywhere with me ...

for 2 years I tried, but he is happy to sit in his chair all day and watch TV and troll on the computer.( at one point he had an on line affair )

that has been his life for 3 and half years now.

he sits all day and watches TV.... trolls on p/c .....then off to bed ..

he might as well place him self into a home for bed ridden people, cause he acts just like one ....

he is 62 but acts and talks like he is older ( he is beginning to look older then he is, do to lack of exercising)

point is ........I pretend to love him, I pretend to care, I pretend to be happy, I pretend to be ok with our sexless marriage, to keep the relationship civil... until i can get the hell out of dodge..

before i started pretending, we were at in each others face yelling, hollering, avoiding each other, not talking. id make snide remarks about his man hood,
how he isnt being the man he should be.....

now that i have droped all the complaints and act like im ok with every thing, things are pleasant....

i look at him as a stepping stone, till things allow me to move forward, towards a life i really want.

update 1/6/13.he had an heart attack............. had stents put in... he smoked for 40 years and him doing nothing but sitting watching tv,trolling on p/c will gve you a death certifcate.
By: An EP User
1,688 people have read this story

Your Response

Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect
By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.
28 responses
  • Namaste1
    Namaste1

    Wow. That is sad. Sounds like my husband and he's only 42. I am considering leaving him, but I have a 3 year old to think about. He watches Internet **** and ***** *** instead of putting the effort into a healthy sexual relationship. Thanks for posting.

    Mar 20
    1 like
  • hgpfmne
    hgpfmne

    what about another guys

    Feb 6
    1 like
  • 1963JeffJohn
    1963JeffJohn

    well said

    Jan 12
    2 likes
  • NorthernStar1980
    NorthernStar1980

    I noticed this was written months ago! Are things getting better for you or are you still pretending? I hope you have started making plans to leave. Why waste anymore precious time being unhappy?

    Nov 12, 2012
    2 likes
    • NorthernStar1980
      NorthernStar1980

      It has been awhile, in fact, I was thinking to myself..."Don't I know this person?" I couldn't remember if I added you to my circle or not....however, I'm glad you added me, now we can keep in better contact with one another. Anyway, I know the situation is hard...even with pretending, but as long as you stay the course and employ your exit plan at the right time, you will be happier in the end. Keep your head up! :)

      Nov 13, 2012
      1 like
  • eyeno
    eyeno

    I like your attitude Ms. gypsy, after all we can't control other's and adding fuel to the fire would only be destructive to ourselves. As I've said before, 'such a strong woman,you are' and just knowing this makes you the better person. God bless and guide you Ms. gypsy. :)

    Jul 21, 2012
    2 likes
  • gypsyblu
    gypsyblu

    ok i looked up histronic he doesnt seem like he fits the histronic personailty to much, but one of sub personailty to it ..>Tempestuous: negativistic (passive-aggressive) he may fit.. he is a boring guy, never has much to say about anything...he acts like a lump of clay..hard to belive he once played in a band for a living................ like don rickles said in a joke recently... talking to clint east wood is like living a lone...lol

    Aug 3, 2012
    1 like
  • aradia11
    aradia11

    I was wondering is your Husband a Viet Nam Vet? Mine is.....sometimes I wonder if his personality and bad disposition may be due to VN OR A LOT HIS AWFUL CHILDHOOD...WITH A PSYCHO STEP DAD. look up histronic behavior it may just be interesting to read.....I found it so.....B

    Jul 20, 2012
    2 likes
    • gypsyblu
      gypsyblu

      nope he didn't fight in any wars, nor did he join the military.... my father is the one who fought in nam. living with a guy who has never lived a military life style, is some times difficult. he doesn't get me, I was raised in the military and pretty much lived it most my life. I will look up histrionic, I know just a lil about it.. my spouse was raised by a single mom..she became pregnant by a guy she was dating late in life, his brother and sister are damn near 80 ...... apparently his dad wasn't around so he knows nothing of him,and he talks like he could care less if he does

      Jul 20, 2012
      1 like
    • aradia11
      aradia11

      One true thing I hold pride in my husband is he did serve..VM...AND A HARD JOB AT THAT....He is also very skilled with wood building and mechanics.
      The similarity between our guys is mine never knew his REAL father either for he left and divored his mom when he was about 2 that can cause a lot of issues as well......I would be curious to know that side of his backgroud but cannot discuss it he gets too too upset.

      Jul 20, 2012
      1 like
  • gypsyblu
    gypsyblu

    here i am a month later and all my stuff came to a head in the last few days.. we had a verbal knock out drag out .. confrontation....and i found out he is stll playing around with his on line g/f...and grooming another with his smooth talk ...for god sakes he is 62 ******* years old... stop the stupid crap, you dont have much time left here on mother earth.. why **** it all off, trying to act like its all ok,with being a donkeys ***... . we are not speaking... god help me..

    Jul 20, 2012
    1 like
  • TrustIsEarned
    TrustIsEarned

    I remember being in this space but for different reasons. It was a painful vacuum of space to live in. The grass wasn't greener on the "other side," and I knew it. But, on the other side was a ME that I believed in, and that was worth climbing over that fence. I hope you are able to find your greener pastures.

    Jun 11, 2012
    5 likes
    • gypsyblu
      gypsyblu

      trust thank you for yr reply...

      Jun 28, 2012
      1 like
  • ladyryan
    ladyryan

    You've done the right thing. Moving on and turning things to your advantage. I hate saying this, but with a man like him it's even useless to have an argument.

    Jun 10, 2012
    2 likes
    • gypsyblu
      gypsyblu

      lady thanks for the reply... yes it is useless, i agree, i was trying to deal with him on a normal level, that was one of the problems, he anit normal!

      Jun 28, 2012
      1 like
    • ScooterLuv
      ScooterLuv

      I did that until I could get out.

      Jul 4, 2012
      1 like
    • gypsyblu
      gypsyblu

      how long did you do it scooter

      Jul 4, 2012
      1 like
  • Velvet3lvis
    Velvet3lvis

    this makes me sad. I faced similar issues, but turned things around. I love my wife and want to make her very happy. It is so hard with toddlers in the house.



    The devil is in the details...I try to complement her and tell her that: she is beautiful, I like her hair and love it when she wears a dress and can find the time to paint her nails. I try to flirt with her, hold her, kiss her, bite her neck and rub her *** or touch her breast every chance I get. I try to be very supportive although that is never as easy as it sounds. Your story has inspired me to buy flowers and a card for her tomorrow. :)

    Jun 10, 2012
    4 likes
    • gypsyblu
      gypsyblu

      yes, my guy is sweet too, but he forgot about the sex part, and the part where we share things out side the bed room.
      he says he loves me, he tell me i look good, gives me hugs once in a while, buys me my fav junk food .... but that all i get ....

      Jun 11, 2012
      1 like
  • ANONFU
    ANONFU

    Oh no I forget men like him don't have any balls, take the pan over his head "bang MF" lol

    Jun 10, 2012
    3 likes
  • ANONFU
    ANONFU

    For you to be like a nurse or something, house cleaner, cook etc. Stupid f---k, you should kick him in his barls!

    Jun 10, 2012
    1 like
  • ANONFU
    ANONFU

    Find out what he finds so interesting on the internet... You think he is running away from you? Then why he still stays married to you?

    Jun 10, 2012
    2 likes
    • gypsyblu
      gypsyblu

      ( to keep him company, to keep him from being a lone ) .. i belong to the grp, sexless marrige, our refusers refuse sex but want us there for many reasons out side of sex ... it could be money,fame, loneness, to look normal, to have kids, to hide being gay, nice home, some one to keep house running for them, or to look after them cause they are sick, the list goes on and on ... they play the bait and switch game, act like they are all into you to get married then once married they stop the sex .. cause they got what they want ...

      Jun 10, 2012
      1 like
    • gypsyblu
      gypsyblu

      they dont marry to have sex or intimacy, they marry for things out side sex....un be knowest to the partner ...

      Jun 10, 2012
      1 like
  • mommaceitta
    mommaceitta

    I hope you get the life you seek, I could have written this story because it so describes my life. I have found a nice out I visit for several days a month with love ones, yea then its nice smiles that are real, good luck to you and know you are not alone!

    Jun 10, 2012
    3 likes