Who Is This Man?The man I married I dated and was engaged to for almost 2 years. We were like rabbits, 6 times a day, he loved oral sex, getting and receiving and I felt really connected to him. We got married and that is literally when it started....we had sex on our honeymoon one time and I had to practically force him....ok I thought....we are settling into marriage.......then it got worse. It was obvious he was staying up late to avoid me or going to bed really early for the same reason. I spoke to him about it but he would never go to the doctor or even try to see what was wrong.
We fell into a predictable pattern. We would go months without sex, I would complain and then he would initiate it that night, a 5 minute quickie with no foreplay and then, months would go by again. At one point, I told him I could find someone on the side and he told me to do what I had to!!!!!!
So...here I am, 13 years later. yesterday was my anniversary and I am miserable. Now, while I had 13 years of hope, now, I am to the point where I don't want him to touch me and the few times he tried in the last few weeks, I said no. I am no longer interested in the 5 minute quickie. I get nothing out of it, he could not care less if I enjoy myself. The thing that is so frustrating is that in every other way, he is a great husband. He makes a great salary, he helps around the house etc....
Do I really want to be alone at 47, trying to raise 2 boys aged 12 and 9 on my own? I make enough money to pay the bills on my own but why should I have to struggle? I am now down to trying to decide if I should register on one of those local websites that puts married people together for sex or not. I miss someone being close to me. I miss being held...I miss intimacy. Am I wrong? should I just accept my lot in life?
unabletocope 46-50, F 11 Responses 0 Jul 25, 2012