Its Good Its Great! So Why Aren't We Doing It?

I've been with James for less than a year 10with months to be exact. I'm 19 he's 27. You'd think out of anything that would be our problem but instead it's the last thing that should be. Sex. Or shall I say no sex.

We are unmarried and with no further offense to anyone here I always believed this was only a problem that occurred in people married for over ten years after the mystery has faded and the kids are always home but apparently this is not the case.

We stopped having sex about 5 months ago. I am a sexual woman by nature and when James and I started dating we couldnt keep our hands off eachother. We both didnt have much we met through working the same crappy job and emediately clicked. I spent most of my time in the room he rented hed just moved back from texas and the only thing he had to his name was a lap top and a suitcase of clothes. The mattress was provided by a friend who owned the house. It didn't matter to either of us we would watch movies on his lap top lose interest and have sex at minimum 3 times a day for several months. We moved in together into a crappy apartment with our two best friends again we didnt have much. Just my bed his laptop and a tv with no cable still having sex, still working bad jobs barely making rent but we were happy. Later we were both discovered by better jobs. Me the asst. Manager to a toy store. Him a car salesman. We got our own apartment this time a great one. Nore money of course so we do have some trouble with that but we were so excited and for the most part still happy. I clean he cooks which is even but now no sex! What gives!?

Im a young attractive natural blonde he should be in the prime of his sex life at his age anyway! Ive talked to him about it several times he blames stress or being tired which is fine once or twice but after a few months? Hes young if he wanted to have sex we would be. And hello stress? Whats a better stress reliever than sex? We have argued over this, and many times Ive lost sleep to crying. James is aware of this and after these episodes twice we have had sex but its clearly him feeling obligated. And even then there is no foreplay unless.he needs it and as we women no all too well no sex for a while means he goes off like a rocket. While hes done ive just gotten started there is no romantic lead up or passion involved. I dont know which makes.me feel worse how undesireable i feel when its not happening or how upset and disappointed I am after we have pity sex. Seeking a friend who can relate.
Becca182 Becca182
18-21
6 Responses Dec 15, 2012

high blood pressure,seeing nude videos in internet,frequent touching of self causes low libido and are less work than actual intercourse.

You are not alone and the best part is that you have options. Why go through that when you don't have to? It doesn't mean you don't love him any less, but woman and men all have needs and if your needs are not being met then why wallow in something that is not getting better? Im married a newlywed at that and the sexless marriage is destroying us already. I don't think that my husband was honest with how he feels about sex, his sex drive, and is ability to have erections. so I feel your pain. I am in shape I look great I get out of the shower butt naked and he doesn't even notice, I lay in bed naked and he doesn't get aroused..This **** sux!! RUN FOR THE HILLS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE BUT WAY MORE TO GAIN!

I'm in the same boat. I've only been engaged 8 months and nothing. I've had so many sit downs with him, everyone is telling me to leave him. I love him and I'm trying everything and he hasn't tried to change even though he admits its his problem...

initially, it was great but this situation came up when the money started coming in. same o same o! u need to sit down with him and have a serious talk. try to recall when all this started and try to fix it with him. u can do it alone.

Hey,

For 5 years, my husband and I never had foreplay either. In fact, I just learned the definition of foreplay just a couple of days ago. I knew something was missing with our sex life because I never felt satisfied after we had sex.

I met him at 18..and he was 22. We worked a crappy job together as well...I was the cashier and he was my supervisor. In the beginning we couldn't keep our hands off each other either (but that was mainly because everything was all new and exciting). I used to live in an extremely strict family who didn't let me sleep over or come home too late. At 23 years old, I still had a 12 o clock curfew and even then, my parents would still ***** about me coming home at 10 o clock. It wasn't until maybe a few months ago that I finally slept over at my boyfriend's place - whom is now my husband. It was so frustrating for him because we would always have to wake up at like 11pm and he'd be forced to drive me back home. Trust me...it was the most annoying thing for us and I love him sooooo much for understanding and driving me home that late at night. Most guys wouldn't give a F*

We got married recently and now live under the same roof. I remember before we only saw each other once a week and every time...it was just to have sex pretty much. But...it was...insert penis...and 2 mins later, out comes ***. Like.....really? Afterwards, I would still be all over him because hell, we just got started? But he would be out cold...I always go home feeling so unsatisfied and always wanting more. It was the biggest tease of my life.

Throughout the years we've been together, he probably kiss my **** like 5-10 times...and like grabbed them a little over that. I don't have big boobs or anything but they're still big enough to grab on...and he is a hugee boob guy.

Any way, he works night shifts from 11pm to 7am...but he would leave at 10 and come home at 8...and be too tired to pretty much do anything. Which trust me..I can totally understand. A few days ago, I was feeling so horny I couldn't get off him. It kind of turned him off cuz he was so tired. Mind you, I don't **********...watch **** or anything of that sort. So I've always seeked him to get relief. And when he wasn't giving me relief, I felt like I was going to explode...felt depressed and unwanted. I brought this up with him and he told me that it was really stressful that I am acting like that.

I mean, he started getting upset because I would cry that I'm horny? lol...yes, when you don't have relief...your body goes crazy. I was never like that. I always repressed my horniness all the time...until a few days ago. Right after that, of course we would have sex...but like you...it's pity sex.

Once again, he inserts penis and a few seconds later, out comes *****. What does that do for me? No foreplay? ...mm, that doesn't relieve anything.

...THEN...

What I did was...

I told him I was feeling really horny....I told him that I don't **********. I told him he was my only way of relief. I told him everything. I even told him how I wanted during sex. What I was looking for. Every time he tried to stick his penis in, I would stop him and tell him that I wanted more kissing...I guided him to my boobs. I told him to bite me.

...Best sex ever.

The next day, I let him sleep from morning until like 30 minutes before he had to go to work. Then I gave him a blow job while he was sleeping. Surprised the F* out of him. After that...he took in every thing that I said to him the other day and gave me...another amazing sex!!!

For the last 2 days....I had an ****** for the first time in my LIFE. All I needed was to be told I was a bad girl during sex...and honestly...I wanted to eat him alive. He was delicious. LOL!!!

I think even though he says he's tired..just give him a blow job while he's sleeping. Just F* him anyway...

If all goes down the drain, think about it this way. You are a 19 year old chick...he is 27. If he loses you.....he's the one that F* up...cuz chances are...not very many young chicks would go for such an "old" man. Like...I'm 24 now and my husband is too 27 years old....and his sex drive has probably died down as he ages....while mine is peeking.

...My suggestion is...just tell him. If he cares enough about you like my hubby, he will do what you want. If you don't want him to *** after 2-3 minutes...............TEASE him. Omg...just pull it out...push him off...wrestle with him. Keep him teased until you are so horny that you are about to ***. Like hump his leg lol....or something? ahaha...

Keep me posted or add me :) Best of luck

sweetxapple

you do have options