Okay I'm Kinda In A Sexless Marriage

my story is a little crazy so bare with me. me and my husband met eight years ago. he was going one way and i was going in the opposite direction. he asked me did i want to go to church with him. i don't remember the answer but it had to have been yes because i wound up going there and we became good friends. my past experiences stopped me from really wanting to pursue this young man and i told him a lot about me: i was raped before, i have a dysfunctional family, i was in crazy "relationships" with guys and a plethora of other things i was ashamed to tell anyone. but with him i felt comfortable and i felt safe. he was not judgmental at all and he listened. we found out that we lived in the same apartment building and started to hang out together a lot. but somehow we got separated. i think maybe i moved- i don't remember. anyways, after a few months(?) we got back together. this time, he was no longer going to the church he was going to and i was no longer going to the church i was going to. he introduced me to a friend of his and i moved into the friend's family's house. there i started "studying the Bible" with them but they wound up not being the very best peeps. (more on that later). i started seeing this guy who was very abusive. he would take my car while i was in class (in college), and go to his other girlfriend's house or do whatever in it (i never knew where he went). all the while, my future husband would be there for me while i was falling apart. this bad guy forced me to go to another state with him and basically turned me into a sex freak. we would get drunk, go to hotels and eventually i had to drop out of college due to the stress of a double life. but all the while my friend was there for me. then one day, out of the blue (after i dumped mr. meanie pants) me and my friend turned serious. we started dating and it was good for a while but in a moment of weakness we fell into fornication. it was heartbreaking. i took his virginity away and i was ashamed. we both were. but after that, we liked our sin and kept doing it. the people i was "studying the Bible" with was told what we did and told us to break up. we refused. we stopped having sex but we refused to stop seeing each other. a lot of drama went down and we stopped going to that church. we went back to the church where he invited me to in the first place. i studied the Bible with them and while i was in that process, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. i said yes. we got married five months after we started dating. the honeymoon came. everything was good but then we started having sex less and less. when i asked him about it, he said he didn't want to wear sex out. that was maybe a year ago. now we do it whenever he wants to and he even told me to let's do it whenever he is ready. but the problem is i'm always ready but he is not so into sex like i am. i don't know what to do. he can be ready every five months or so. we used to do it every time we saw each other when we weren't married. what's the problem now???
blaqqqu33n blaqqqu33n
31-35, F
Jan 7, 2013