Unwanted By Husband
My husband is suffering from depression and has started seeing a psychiatrist, after I threatened to leave him if he didn't do something about our lack of intimacy. We have been married for 5 years and together for 10 years. We never had sex often in the beginning, maybe once a month. As the years have progressed, the sex declined. But it's just not the sex. He doesn't want to touch me, although he does hug me on occassion. He also doesn't touch himself and has never ***********, which made me think that perhaps he had been abused, but he claims he has never been abused and shows no other indications of abuse. So the psychiatrist and his doctor have diagnosed him for depression.
However, I'm feeling unwanted, unloved and unattractive. I have one child and it was a miracle we got pregant, (we only had sex twice in the year I conceived, and that was to get pregnant). After I got pregnant, he didn't touch me or want to have sex with me until well after I stopped breastfeeding. All up, we didn't have sex for 2 years. That is the longest we haven't had sex. My daughter is now 3 years old, and we have had sex about 3 times. Always I initiated the sex.
I am in my thirties and at my peak. The only way I can seek satisfaction is by ************ myself. I have erotic dreams about my ex boyfriend from 15 years ago (which was the best sex life I have ever had!).
I don't know whether I should leave my husband and if I did, where would I go and how would that affect my daughter. I work full time as I am the breadwinner, and one of my friends thinks my husband is depressed because of this. But he was earning more than me before and our sex was still limited and brief.
The last time we had sex, which was 5 months ago, my husband didn't really feel like it and never came. He often doesn't come or he loses the errection half way through.
I have talked to my husband about this for years, and although he is seeking help from doctors, there has been no change. He is not taking anti-depressants, so this would not affect his libido, but he still has no libido. I don't know what to do. If I try to dress or act sexy, he tells me I'm being silly. I tried wearing nice things and always wearing make-up, without any reaction. I feel rejected and completely unattractive. It is like we are just renting together. I made a vow through sickness and health, but I don't want to live the rest of my life like this.