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Never New

I got married over 4 years ago.  I got pregnant on my wedding night.  After that, sex became very rare.  The first year of our marriage; I could count on one hand how many times we had sex.  I was really messed up about this because I loved sex prior to getting married.  After the first two years, we decided to have another baby; I got pregnant after the first effort again.  I thought we had gotten better but as of today it would be 3 months since we last had sex.  I love my husband, but this is really tough.  However, i have made myself accept this because i don't want to get a divorce.  I am not sure i would rather be in a marriage with more sex; my marriage overall is good.  i am just trying to cope with how it is and believe that in time one day we will have more sex.  Maybe?

nevernew nevernew 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 12, 2009

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Never new, I'm much like you in that after I got pregnant, the sex dwindled to nothing. It's been 15 months since I last slept with my husband. My baby is 6 month old. Before that sex was great because we were trying to have a baby, and before that sex was occasional. <br />
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I too love my husband and and hoping that things will get better once he looses more weight and starts to feel better about himself. Did your husband gain a lot of weight while you were pregnant? Is he stressed out? Those are the excuses my husband gives me. I'm just trying to wait him out for now because leaving him or cheating on him is not an option. I love him and I love my baby girl.<br />
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I hope things with you get better as well. What does he say when you tell him how hurt you are? I'm on the borderline also, I can't tell whether a mediocre marriage with sex would be better than a very good marriage without sex.<br />
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HH

Me too, for a while. Then I talked to him about my feelings, and it turns out that he is just shy and distracted. So i started initiating encounters where he would be a jerk to refuse. Like just getting naked and asking him if he wants oral sex. If he would have said no, then there would have been a real problem. But I would just keep it simple. Tell him that you LOVE sex and want to have more of it. How 'bout right now!?!