My situation started it's decline about 4 years ago. We've been together for 30 years and married for 22 of those. His job is in upper management coupled with a 90 minute commute each way. I totally understand the stress of a job and the daily grind. However, I discovered his gambling/gaming/internet addiction over 2 years ago---spends upwards of 20 hrs a week in casino and on computer! As a result our our intimacy in all areas has suffered. I've had a clinical depression- treated with meds and therapy-read ad nauseum about marriage and healing relationships. We've had numerous 'talks'-civil and otherwise! about our issues and differences. The bottom line is he says he lacks desire and I'm brow beating him by the discussions. He refuses to go to counseling and tells me that I'm taken care of just fine. We've had sex twice in the last 18 months!