i am a woman in a sexless marrage

I am 50 and was married when i was 17 and 1/2 had our 1st child when i was 20.

my husband is 6 years older than me and within the years married  the 1st 15 years was the best and soon as the children hit teenagers i saw him change and become very hot temperd not knowing how to raise teenagers and was allot of domestics during that time and whatever they done wrong i got the blame for it all. and would tell me to  let him handle things his way which was normaly by hitting and then he would tell me after that if i had of handled it or gave beter ideas he would not be feeling so guilty

things got that bad overtime that police would be called cause of loud noice weither it be the teenagers going of or the whole family at one another

I could never do right in his eyes when it came to disaplin of the family because i was not pycical with them he belived that i was not doing my Job as a mother

I finaly could not take anymore and left and got my own apartment and met this man and became romanticly involved with him nothing more as he had many health problems and i was still trying to heal the pains of of past,

After 7 months of been away from where my husband and i lived he came and asked me to go back and that we could work everything through and because i was still in love with my husband i wanted to give it a try and told him that it be a good Idea for us to sleep in separate rooms just untill we could build each others trust as i done my share in hurting him by getting Involved with this man and he done his own Damage that caused me to leave when he lifted  his hand to me on a few occasions and would be so sorry afterwards and would even talk down to me infront of his family and when i asked him this his words was (No u come back into the room and have allot of time to make up for)

this is what we done and everything was going rather well as sex was never an Issue with us as we sadly would solve all problems through Intamicy and after 11 months we had a small row and he moved into the living room and never wanted to share a room with me and i thought this would blow over and he would return to our bedroom and would not talk about it when i asked why he done it or would give silly remarks such as i am sleeping here because i  love  you and  what sense that made  i have no idea

Then when none of the family was around he would talk me into having sex with him and was usualy fast and breif incase they came home and would ask me not to make anything out of it

3 years have past and still sleeping apart and no mater how much he saw me break down  and cry he thought that parttime love would be enough and was not till 6 months ago i put a STOP to that as no one will love me like that and make me feel used

we even went to marrage councilng and that was a disaster as family was brought into it and was even told if he had the choice to lose either my love or the familys it would be mine

I have learned now NOT to give in to someone that wants to love me when that Itch comes or no one is there

I gave too much of myself to this man i was told and when he done that to me walking out the bedroom was as if there was a Death and now i am mentaly getting my head together and will file divorse as i feel he done withought me all that years he can now Forever

                       Lost and hurt vic

fpace99 fpace99
46-50
1 Response Mar 12, 2010

Hello,<br />
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If you need a friend email me at dn96720@gmail.com. I feel for your situation. These things are never simple to work through but there are people out there willing to at least listen and give you moral support. I hope to hear from you soon.