Testimony

God has helped me so much in my life. He has blessed me and provided for me so much in my life. High school was hard for me, but when I trusted in Christ and prayed to Him, things got so much better. I developed depression in eighth grade and started to cut myself. The summer after eighth grade, I re-dedicated my life to Christ and got baptized. I had considered myself a Christian my whole life and was raised in church, but after I was baptized this time (I had been baptized before as a child and did not understand the importance of baptism), I changed the way I lived. I became more conscious of God's voice, the Holy Spirit, in my life. In ninth grade, I was very depressed, but I was undiagnosed. I remember crying in class, putting my head down on my desk. I always thought I needed a guy to make myself happy. I loved God so much though and I put so much energy into reading the Bible and praying. As a new Christian, you have this fervor that is just so amazing and beautiful. After a while though, this high goes down and you realize that being a Christian is not about some feeling you get, while that feeling is awesome. Its about your love for in faith in Christ. Its about your devotion to Him as a display of this faith and love. Its about living your life for Him, your whole self becoming a living sacrifice for Him. Christians mess up and sin, but how amazing it is that we serve a loving and forgiving God who sent His only begotten Son to die for us. To take our place and bear our sins so that we could be forgiven and spend eternity with God. While I have thought about suicide, I never went through with it because of the blessings God have given me and the people He has blessed me with and has brought into my life. I am now a freshman in college and have been suffering with depression and cutting for about 5 years. I do not cut as much, and I hardly do at all anymore. But Christ pulled me through that. And every day, He is helping me with my depression. I have found my way to a church family full of love and acceptance for everyone, no matter what struggle you have. My hope in Him gets me through. It keeps me hoping that things will get better. It is the reason I press on.