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Me.....

I am the only grandchild of an only child, who's grandparent preferred showering affection and treats on her friends, and still does.....

I am the shy child who longed to be asked to the party, the dance, the group - to belong

I am the soulful child who kept quiet under an atmosphere of tension so thick it was palpable, yet never sunk beneath its crushing weight

I am the bullied teenager, who once believing she belonged and was accepted was betrayed by those she called friends, but NEVER EVER gave up or gave in

I am the cuckold fiance you said you loved and believed in a future of happy ever after; who was there for you when you were lost and frightened and didn't' know what to do when you got someone else pregnant - I helped you, we got you sorted, and I walked away with my head held high.....

I am the work colleague and friend who's kindness you mistook for more and wouldn't take no for an answer; who, as young as i was, naive as i was, had the strenght of my own self worth NOT to give in and become your mistress because I am better than that - worth more than that....

I am the only child, who at 23, become a little sister to a half-brother i didn't know about, welcoming you with open arms;  an auntie when i never thought i'd be, and a daughter grieving her father with still soooo many unanswered questions in her mind, her heart and her soul.......

I am the woman with a Masters degree who the teachers at school advised not to bother turning up for the exams because it wouldn't be worth it.....

I am a daughter, best friend, auntie and confidant, and i know that i am loved....

I am the person who others have mistaken kindness and caring for weakness - they have learned

I am strong, resilient, brave, open and caring (i hope), who can see how far she has come, and how much more of the journey still remains....

I am the women who longs for a family of her own, but accepts this may never be and if that is true, i am happy with what i have, because i recognise i have a full life, that is still unraveling its wonders to me.....

I am my own work in progress......

I am simply ME

x
lostlittlefirefly lostlittlefirefly 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 19, 2011

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Firefly,<br />
<br />
You're one of the most amazing people on here... I love you girl.<br />
<br />
xo

thank you, you know your pretty special too...x

Wow! Sounds Like You Have Known Some Pretty Nasty People. I'm Sorry Lots Of People Have Treated You Like Dirt Which Btw Your Are Not!<br />
<br />
I Cannot Believe Your Fiance :( What A Bastard! & Sounds Like You've Dealt With Alot Of Family Troubles Too..<br />
<br />
But You Can Recognise You Strong Points.. Your An Amazing Person, A Brilliant Friend, A Fantastic Listener & You Always Brighten Up My Day :) I Will Be Your True Friend & You Can Talk To Me About Anything. You Have Coped Incredibly Well Through All Of This It Seems, So Well Done You. Don't Ever Let Anyone Treat You Like Dirt Again! <br />
<br />
I Love You LLFF :D xxx

Thank you Angel, and that is why i know you can get through this - I am here for you whenever and however you need me to be, always....... Love you too....x