Learning From Past Mistakes

I've noticed from my friends who are coupled up and married that there are times when they get pretty irritated by their mates trying to be competitive with them. But instead of just overlooking it they get caught up in trying to one up them. I had unfortunately gotten into these difficult situations myself, trying to feed my ego and prove that I'm better in some way. Why do we as humans think we need to be competitive with the very people we choose to join forces with and even love. What makes us get into power struggles in this way? I believe it's the ego trying to get approval and instead it comes out inadvertedly insulting and damaging the other person and/or our relationships. I intend to work my hardest not to repeat these mistakes I have made in the past and somehow agreeing with my mate not to aggavate one another in this way. The next time my bf tells me something they've done to try to impress me I will say wow that is really great and appreciating their need for attention/approval. I figure this will make them feel good and they won't need to continue with their self-aggrandizing behavior. Does this make sense? Maybe it will work?
Owleeeeease7 Owleeeeease7
36-40, F
1 Response Nov 27, 2012

Might work on a female, but from my perspective guys like and need all the praise we can get. If you give it to me, you are going to be my favorite person. Every time my ego needs a little stroking I am going to tell you about something I did . The good news; because you recognize how great I am, I am going to view you as one of the smartest people I know. Will not want to argue with you.

he he...I get what you're saying....I'm not above this kind of appreciating in my mate at all. It's just the way it's being done if it's more like an I told you so kind of thing.....plus you should think I'm smart because you are a great man!

It's not hard to appreciate you.....I need to rethink this...hmmmm.

I know you are very smart. That is part of the reason that you have been in relationships, but you have not gone all in for just anyone. You know that there is a special person that is worth waiting for. He will be very fortunate.