Someone Please Read This And Tell Me What You Think!!well, I have a short story due tomorrow and this is what I've got so far, a couple of intros. Tell me which story sounds more interesting to you so I can continue writing it! OH and I have a serious writers block right now so if none of them sound interesting, tell me and I shall write something else, also, this is only the first draft so the grammer, punctuation etc. doesn't matter as much as the content of the story does.
The room was dark and congested. The floor let out a large creak, scaring Chloe as she fumbled around looking for the light switch. “Ugh,” she cried, as her hands touched a soft cobweb. She jerked her hand back, blowing dust in her perfect hair. After what felt like an agonizing eternity, she finally managed to turn the lights on. The bright white fluorescent light contrasted sharply with the dark aesthetics of the room. An ugly gray rug covered the wooden floor. A large brown table that just looked out of place was stationed right next to the broken window. Chloe let out a huge sigh and sat down on the tiny bed. Her bum sunk into the thin mattress. She scrunched up her nose. The room reeked of mold. Her mind refused to fathom this situation. How did the daughter of a billionaire end up without a single penny to her name? How did her father, who helped thousands of people in the nation find their dream homes, allow his daughter to live in this filthy, rundown house? “Of course,” Chloe grunted, “men. They are all the same.” The truth was becoming clearer to Chloe by the minute. It was obvious she didn't belong here and she was willing to do whatever it took to get her out of this hellhole.
“Ai! Ai! Ai!” The fat, balding archeologist with a severe case of molar gingivitis chuckled. “Look what we just dug’er up!”
“Ehhh!” His band of equally hideous imbeciles chortled.
“Is that Mulan?” the only sane person in the group asked.
“Alright, fellas!” The archeologist screamed to the crowd of overzealous men. “What do we do now?!”
“FEAST!!!” The crowd roared back.
The careless archeologist grinned and led his team back to the highway, leaving his findings uncovered…
The teenage boys ran into the fields. This was a competition and Jack was going to win it. He just knew it. Huffing and puffing, he reached the finish line. He mooned his friend as he reached the end of the fence. Another day, another victory; Jack loved this game called life. He was still busy grinning like an idiot when Jason approached him with a worried frown on his face. “Dude, it’s Jeremy. I think we lost him.” He cried.
“The only thing YOU lost is the race!” Jack teased.
“No, for real man,” Jason dug his hands in his pockets and kicked the moist dirt, “I can’t find him.”
The look of genuine concern on Jason’s face was enough to convince Jack that he was being serious. He slowly started walking back to the trail where they came from, gesturing Jason to follow him. The boys ran back to the woods and started frantically searching for their friend. The sun was starting to set in the sky. Drenched in sweat, with chapped lips and mud all over their skinny bodies, the boys were heading home empty handed...
Righteouschica had gained too much weight. She knew it. It was evident from the way she sat on her chair, with rolls of flab spilling out. It was obvious from the way she walked, not with her head held up high like all those pretty girls with their thin waists & perfect curls. No, hers was a miserable roam. It was a long stride down a short hallway that never seemed to end. Righteouschica just didn’t get it. She bit her nails, she scratched her skin. She took pills to make her thin. She wore about 15 pounds of makeup on her skin. Why was she still so imperfect? As the paper ball landed on her lunch tray splashing chocolate milk all over her, Righteouschica let out a loud sigh. The realization sunk deep in her skin. She was an imperfect girl stuck in a perfect world. She needed to get out. She needed to change.
righteouschica 18-21, F 9 Responses 2 Jan 16, 2013