How?I'd love to be a writer. I hate the thought of being employed for 8 hours a day at a place I hate, interacting with people I'd rather not talk to, spending all my time working myself to the bone. I'd much rather just go about my own business, doing as I please, traveling, writing, and enjoying my life. The problem is, I don't know if I'd be successful, if I will be able to to just live off writing, which I'd need to be to not have a job. And I know that's a difficult thing to do if you're not J.K. Rowling or Stephanie (ew) Meyer. I'd be happy to work a little, until I can write a few good books, but what if it doesn't pan out? What if people don't want to read what I have to write? Not that I write for others, I mainly just write for myself, because it makes me feel good, because it's a release, but people have to want to read your books in order for you to be a successful writer.
Also, I don't want to be famous, not in the least. I much like my privacy, my isolation from others with the exceptions of my friends and family. I don't want people to read into what I write, and take something out of it that's not there. I don't want people to think they know me from my writing, my life, my feelings, what I'm all about. Sure, sometimes I'm reflected in my writing, as is my experience, but it's definitely not an entirely accurate depiction of what I am. And publishers don't want someone like that. They want someone to do their own publicity, to do readings and tours and book signings, but that's not for me. I'm more of a Salinger than anyone else, though not as reclusive as him by any account.
If all else fails, I'd love to work for a publisher, or be an editor, just so I could read books all day. But my first goal, is to try and be a writer, though by my own faults and personality traits, it'll be more difficult for me than others. I don't want to peddle bullshit. I want to write something that means something, at least to me. How everyone else takes it is entirely their own collective prerogative.