My Writers' Story

Most everybody who asks me what I like to do will get the same answer from me: I like to write! :D It's so much fun manipulating words or phrases on paper/word processor. By no means am I talking about writing for school, like homework. That gets really intense, to me. I get so stressed out when I'm assigned an essay or paper to write. That's because that kind of writing implies research that no one wants to do! I guess I shouldn't say "no one". But I do not like to write as an assignment.

No way! I love to write my own projects, like for stories. Those I love to plan for. And I used to hate writing outlines, even for the stuff I write leisurely. It's kind of a neat story how I actually started liking to construct outlines. So now that I know where this EP story is directed XD... Allow me to tell my story on how I started liking outlines. :D

When I started to really get into the writing scene I thought: Hey, look. I'm a writer already because I write poetry that people seem to enjoy (this was about 6-7 years ago, when poetry was my thing). So getting high on myself because people liked my poetry led to me wanting to write stories. Of course, that was vehemently huge for me to wrap my mind around. I mean, I wrote poetry. That's little stanzas or two lines rhyming. Writing a story like the kind I had in mind then...well, that was pretty huge to me. Something I wanted to do, but I was actually afraid to do it.

I loved the idea of telling family and friends that I was a writer. Until they started asking to see my stuff. XD I remember responding to them by saying something like, "What, you don't believe me? No, I'm kidding. I'd show you what I'm working on, but I'm keeping the details quiet until I get out of the rut I'm stuck in. It's just a matter of time!" Now I'm a lot more honest with people. Only if they ask, will I tell them that I'm a writer or that I'm working on a book. Mostly.

But it was really hard to begin writing my first manuscript. I remember that it made me so nervous and anxious that my palms would sweat. Then the worst thing that could ever happen to a writer...I would give up out of fear.

From that fear I started collecting "how to" books on how to write fiction. I studied up on how to write a book, and it helped with my anxiety with writing. It was still there, sure, but I think it was the good kind of anxiety. The kind that motivates a person, you know?

After learning my new craft, I sat down and wrote a very general outline of the story I wanted to write. When it was finished I though, okay. My story is down on paper. The skeleton is finally on paper. Now I need to flesh it out. And oh my...fleshing it out took me about a decade, because I kept rewriting the outline and changing my characters and plots. I just couldn't settle, because I knew that what I wanted to say could always be so much better than it was. I hadn't even started writing the actual manuscript! :D Aw, it was torture on the mind. Let me tell you. More than once I stopped writing, telling myself that I just could not do it. So I set my writing tools aside and tried to ignore them for...probably a week or so.

One day, while I was flat out ignoring my talent for the written word I pulled out my laptop. I figured since there was zero pressure in just seeing if I could still "do it" there's no harm in messing around if I'm not taking it seriously.

But wouldn't you know it. I focused my "I don't give a care" writing on the story that caused me the most trouble, my very first writing project. :O I was... flabbergasted by how easy it was to write that story! It did take about seven or eight rewrites, but I finally got it down. Now I'm confident in my writing abilities. :D

I'm working on the sequel story now!

Yeah, it was grueling. It was torturous. Unbelievably painful and disheartening. What matters is that I kept at it. That's true for any venue of your life. You keep at something long enough, and eventually it all works out.
Darklight1 Darklight1
31-35, M
1 Response Oct 25, 2012

As a writer I understand completely what you went through! I've gone through that as well! And I know how torturous it can get!

Nothing is worse than feeling unsatisfied with your production!!
It makes me admire how much effort you have put into it! With all the rewrites! There are times when I get so frustrated with my work that I just couldn't even look at it until it gets off my mind for a bit. This lets me clear my mind first!
Then when I go back, I reread everything I've wrote and new ideas come to me as well as improving my already written work!

I've also realised that the 'I don't care' attitude sometimes creates positive feedback! It's great :)

Hey! Long time, Carmen. :D

It's only now that Iam willing to admit that writing is HARD. Shhh, though. Tell no one I said that. ;D

On the flipside, I totally care! I won't ever give up writing. It's my calling :D

Hey! Yeah, it's been a while :P

Haha writing isn't easy, but nevertheless it is something that I love!!

I know, I care as well, even though I may say I don't out of frustration!

I've been thinking about it for a few days, but now that I've written this story I think I'm going to do another one about my experiences with 'how to write stories'. Maybe it will "energize" my mind, since college has me blah-ish lately. *sigh*