Down In There...

In the depth of myself I sit and watch my life go by. with every passing moment I realize how shallow
I've been. how things have changed and how my life went from okay to bad to ugly. how much damage I
have caused to my soul, my heart and my mind.I've been leading myself through the darkness of my mind.
trying to find a way to happiness. twisting and turning here and there all the way around the light of
truth. looking in the other direction trying to get what I dreamt about for so long. I took so many ways
in every direction I could think of. yet I found myself returning to ground zero.I taught myself to 
accept what I thought I couldn't change back then.I got myself a beautifully garnished shining golden
cage, closed it on myself, and convinced myself it was my safe haven.I thought my sensitivity would be
safe in there and no one could ever cause me any more pain.but then u came and I opened the door thinking
you held the balm to ease my pain. the joy that could fill my heart and help me spread my wings and fly 
again. Now i know how wrong I was but I also learned that I can never lock myself up again and close my 
eyes n the truth. I can never look away from wrong and act as if everything's great. I cannot close my eyes and convince myself that nothing's changing around me coz when I open them up I know it will tear my heart apart. so I decided to be free again never to return to that old lock up. to be free, to love and live life and face whatever may come in my way with a welcoming smile. I will not see life as a field of obstacles but rather as a plain where there might be an obstacle every once in a while. and I will be glad to overtake whatever life throws at me to be myself and not anybody or anything else.

pepperony pepperony
26-30, M
Mar 15, 2009