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I Am a Young Military Girlfriend Or Wife

So.... What Now?

By: lvnn88
Written on June 15th, 2012
Hello,
I’m posting to this group because I would like some advice. My fiancé is currently in ROTC and will commission next April. I graduate from college in August and have started applying to jobs. We plan on getting married next April. She is currently in Spain and has been gone for a month (she has been jumping out of planes and PTing like crazy… my nerves are shot lol especially since we have not been able to really talk) . Since she’s been gone I have started to seriously think about what my life as an Army wife will be like especially as a gay Army wife. I.e. I will not be living on base, receive health insurance or the benefit of programs that the army has for wives. I had several questions and was wondering if anyone had any answers or had a similar experience. I love my fiancé and want to be with her but I think that it is really starting to hit me what being with her means.
My questions are:
Does anyone have any advice on having a career while being married to someone in the army?
Did anyone have a small freak out before moving with their spouse for the first time if so how did you handle it without stressing out your partner?
Also, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about still receiving support from other army wives while she is deployed being that I will not be living on base. ( our plan now is to have an apartment off base that is close enough for her to get their without having a long drive)
I would really appreciate any advice or comments talking to my family and friends has only freaked me out more. No one understands why I would want to marry a solider let alone travel with her especially because of our situation. I really love her and would like to make our relationship work I’m just not sure how to do it.
Thanks!
By: lvnn88
Age: 22-25 , Female
86 people have read this story

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    lvnn88
    lvnn88

    Hey!! sooo.... we talked and i feel a lot better thank you for your advice! I'm still not sure about the career thing yet but we will handle it as it comes. yes I wonder what it will be like to move??!! Good luck with your wedding!!!

    Jun 30, 2012
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    kj00
    kj00

    If I were you, I'd pick a flexible career, because it will be hard if you keep moving around and having to move from one job to the next. That is one of my concerns too... having to leave a job at any moment because my husband gets moved some where else. That SUCKS that you don't get to have the benefits... a spouse is a spouse and you deserve those benefits.. I'm sorry you don't get them :/ I'm getting married in a month, and then will be moving in with my husband and hundreds of miles away from my family and friends, so it's normal to be kind of nervous! But I talk about how I feel, what my fears are and my fiance does a great job of just listening and understanding what I'll be going through. So I suggest you just communicate a lot and be honest about how you feel. I've heard there are a lot support groups on base, but the problem is idk how you will be able to get on base because you need a military ID to get on and since you unfortunately won't be recognized as a military spouse, I'm not sure how you will be able to access those resources. But you always have the ladies on here to support you! So I would just use facebook and sites like these to meet people! Best of luck!!

    Jun 15, 2012
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