Leap of Faith

I met my husband at work 14 yrs ago. Wr started dating withing 6 months of meeting and were living together after 2 months of "dating".  We were young but finally got engaged and married after 5 yrs.  We were living together a total of 10 yrs.  Had a beautiful daughter who is now four.  Her daddy was killed when she was 1. He was my very best friend and I still miss him every day.  The regret that our daughter will never "know" him breaks my heart even more. 

Time has helped numb the pain but I don't think the heart ever heals.  I know I feel sometimes I am a different person now.  I look at life differently, people differently, and especially love differently.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't know who I am anymore.  I feel stronger at times and then I feel like I could break at any moment.  Does that even make sense?

I'm in a new relationship now, one that is very confusing.  He was there for me every day for the last 3 yrs.  I don't know how I ever would have made it through the first year without his love and support.  He is my new best friend.  He loves me and I love him, but I'm so afraid of getting hurt again.  I don't want my daughter to ever feel that kind of pain..of losing someone she loves.  Should I give the new relationship a chance or should I take a leap of faith?

 

grace2167 grace2167
31-35
1 Response Feb 20, 2009

How your friend/hubby had been killed? is it by road accident or murdered by anybody? is the essential question here, to predict your daughter's condition in future. The sentence of you "I feel stronger at times and then I feel like I could break at any moment. Does that even make sense?" clearly shows that you are unable choose the right decision. In this circumstance setting aside your love towards your new friend, first try to understand his charector. Will he accept your daughter as his own? Is he loving you to satisfy his wants alone? showing real interest to be your protectors for ever are some of the questions you have to find answers first. Then only you can submit yourself to him entirely. The need of the hour is you need a true companion. Get one after thoroughly examining the facts available.