I Am A 21 Year Old Widow

I lost my husband last year on May 22nd, he was twenty years old. He died in a car accident going to work at 6:28 am he died instantly. I found out 3 hours later when two cops showed up at my door to tell me the news. It was so shocking that life can change so fast, I had never been close to anyone that had died till that moment.
  Our daughter was 17 months old at the time and I was twenty. My husband had been my best friend since 6th grade and all the way through school we got married in 2007. He was a great father and so smart. He was a certified arborist at age 20, he got his certificate 2 months before he passed away. One of his big goals in life was to pass that test, which im so glad he got to do. He was a very hard worker and always had time for us when he got home after such long days of work. He loved to learn and loved life so much. I remember asking him arent you afraid to die and he just told me its going to happen whether I want it to or not, so why worry about it. He loved every experience life had he taught me so much and made me just enjoy life. Everytime something makes me sad,
I just can think of him and how short his life was and how much I know he would want to be here just living. It makes me realize I just need to be thankful Im here and he was a part of my life leaving me with such a beautiful and wonderful little girl.
   Its been alittle over a year and still the pain is there I dont think it gets easier you just gradually get used to the fact because its always there. So much has changed in just this year. I often think and wonder what life would have been like if he was still alive. How different our daughter might be right now if he was still around. I have no clue what the future holds for us but right now its just a few days at a time. But I have made some big changes like buying a house and moving. Which helps with the pain because my life has changed plus everything around me with a new location, So I can make a fresh start of a life with just my daughter and me.
arboristsgirl arboristsgirl
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 10, 2010

i hope you are blessed w a fresh start. my son never got to meet his father, he was killed when i was six months pregnant. the moment the accident happened i felt it my heart stopped and then when i got the call the nightmare my life now is began. but i push forward for my son. all i ever wanted was a family and now it will forever be incomplete. i just pray that when i see him again in heaven we can have our happily ever after