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It All Happened So Fast

On August 4th my husband, lover, soul mate, twin flame, my world , died, he was 39, we had gone to bed, had sex and came downstairs to raid the fridge, I had got a glass of water to take back up with me, I walked from kitchen to the lounge as I entered the lounge he grabbed his chest and fell to the floor I rang an ambulance, they arrived and worked on my husband, eventually they stabilized him, and he was put into the ambulance, we then headed for the hospital, when we arrived the doors flew open and the paramedics ran through to a room, I was allowed in the room, and stood away slightly, then at just gone 3:30am they pronounced him dead, this all happened so fast.

I learned he died from myocardial infarction.

He was fit healthy ran daily, didn't smoke drank only on occasion, was alive and vibrant one minute dead the next, I just cant get used to it, it all happened so fast, I cant believe Ill never see him hug him love him touch him kiss him again, it seems so unfair, and was just so fast. I loved him so deeply so intensely, we had loved one another since day one,we married within 6 weeks of meeting, and had a great marriage and very rarely argued, we talked, and shared all major decisions, I feel so lost so alone, I look for him, I cant sleep eat, or be bothered to do much. I want to be where he is.

I just don't understand why.
Mia831 Mia831 36-40 12 Responses Aug 21, 2010

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Hi,

I totally understand where are you coming from. I know how hard is it to lose someone you have loved much. Maybe, we can help each other by constant communication we can surpass this tragedy.
ravi

Hi all - nearly 3 weeks for me when my world fell apart. Husband was 48, fit as a fiddle and had heart attack. he had a heriditary heart issue that was never diagnosed. I am so lonely and the only thing that keeps me going is having my daughter and her 3 month baby live with me. i cant think that my husband was the best father and best grandfather in the world or think about how he was talking about our older son partner and 3 kids coming back for xmas from australia. He was going to decorate our back yard for xmas, have flashing lights oh my tears are welling as i write this. i need to stop = i hate this widow club, dues are too high love to all and i just want to talk

Hi,

I totally understand where are you coming from. I also lost my husband last July 14th. It's still fresh and painful. I know how hard is it to lose someone you have loved much. After almost 29 days of losing my husband I am still lonely and just like you I don't have appetite to eat. I got sick of colds and flu. I don't want to socialize. I felt I was a different me now. Maybe, we can help each other by constant communication we can surpass this tragedy.

CEZ ( PHILIPPINES )

To bad. i am sorry for the loss. how are you now since it is been 3 years.

I am so very sad to hear of all your losses. I cannot imagine losing someone so dear to me. <br />
John 5:28 has a beautiful promise it says "Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice (Jesus) and come out". You may not be religious but the bible has a beautiful promise of a resurrection of those who have sadly died. This resurrection will happen in the future and those who have died will be restored to life right here on earth. Many people have not heard of this promise, they believe that the bible teaches of a hope in heaven. If God is love why would he allow people to die for nothing? Or allow suffering for that matter? The bible says that God did not create the earth for nothing. So then why would he send us to heaven? I don't want to go to heaven..do you? I want to live here on earth. The bible answers very clearly all these questions. If you have a bible..open it and see www.watchtower.org for more information. My heart goes out to you all.

I too feel all your pain. My fiancee died suddenly 15 days ago. We were to be married 2days after he passed. Instead of celebrating the happiest day of our lives I was planning a funeral. We had no idea that he was not healthy. He died at work, we found due to an enlarged heart that we didnt know about. He left that morning for work and we had no idea it was it. I am 29 and he was 33. I have a son from a previous marriage who he accepted as his own. He was my best friend and soul mate. I have no idea how to figure out my new life. I am sad and ask why all the time? of course there is no answer and prob never will be. <br />
I am going to a spiritual grief medium soon in hopes to connect with him. I hope that maybe that can bring me some peace. <br />
I am thinking of all of you

I am really saddened to read all the stories recounted here and I wish all of you who are suffering the loss of your dear ones, the comfort and succour that only the Almighty can provide. At times like these, no doubt human beings think that it is God himself who has dealt an unfair blow to us mortals by taking someone who is dear to our hearts away from us. However I do not think that the Almighty would be so heartless that He would do such a thing, as we are all his loved ones and he loves and cares for all of us equally and does not have favourites or specially loved ones. Sometimes there is a greater design and a greater wisdom at work in such matters and we can only trust the Almighty that He has acted in our best interests. I know that it is very difficult to believe that there could be such an explanation especially when we are in such pain but we would have to leave it to the Lord to take care of us when He has taken away our loved ones from us.<br />
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I wonder if any of you would like to get in touch with a psychic(A good and reliable one) who could help you get in touch with your loved ones. Sometimes when the passing away is sudden our loved ones are also anxious about us and try and contact us but due to the great difficulty of being able to manifest themselves they are not able to do so. However a good psychic can help us get in touch with them and our loved ones will have messages of comfort and in a way an explanation for what happened. The messages they give are comforting and in some cases of very practical help in many things such as important papers and other items which only they knew about and the location of which they reveal to their loved ones on earth. This is only a suggestion and only if any of you feel that it is worth pursuing should you go ahead with it.<br />
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My sincere good wishes to all of you. Warm Regards

My heart goes out to you and the pain you are going through. I too lost my husband on August 27, 2010 to a sudden and unexpected heart attack, he just turned 41. He died almost one year to the date of our first wedding anniversary. He had a genetic heart condition that we didn't know about and I too fear the future of our unborn child, I am due in December and am so scared that she will suffer the same fate. My husband's father also died from a heart attack at a young age but no tests were ever done to see if it was genetic which is why my husband didn't know he had a ticking time bomb in his body. The question of why is always in my thoughts and I know that those are impossible questions to answer until our own time comes. My sadness lies on so many levels and its hard to describe since I know we are all feeling so many different emotions at the same time. He was the light of my life and made me laugh like no other, he touched so many lives and made them better. My heart doubly aches for my daughter who will never know her father and was cheated from experiencing his love, I only have pictures and videos to share with her but it won't be the same. I know we didn't ask to be in this club especially at such a young age but I am trying with all my heart to find meaning in his death by truly discovering the meaning of being a spiritual being and believing in the grace of God, even though right now I am trying not be angry with God for what happened. All we have is now and I hope one day we can all truly appreciate waking up in the morning and appreciating everyday. For now life is one moment at a time.<br />
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and all those who are going through this pain and for those who will be and don't know it yet.

I, too, know how you feel, but I am a bit further timewise in my grief. The shock has worn off and realilty is not pretty. My husband of 18 years died early this year after turning 40 the month before. We have 13 year old GGB triplets that are now coping with the reality that their dad is gone. I have to be so strong for them, but grieve on the inside, dreading each day that he is gone. He died of carbon monoxide poisoning while camping with our son. He went to sleep and never woke up. Thank God he was in his own tent. It has been 7 months and I am putting on a brave face, while now deciding that I need therapy to deal with all the emotions, now that I think the shock has finally worn off and the reality has set in. I would have taken to my bed if I didn't have the kids to worry about, and they are all coping in their own ways. I think the oldest, by 1 minute is struggling now, but between this and being 13, it is hard to see what is the cause of her emotional upheaval right now. <br />
It is weird to think that everyone dies, but you don't think of it in respect to our family. Both of us still have both our parents and we've never been faced with the death of a loved one as adults. I still don't understand why, and I am sure I will never know the answer. The kids and I have decided that something much worse was on the horizon, and God saw fit not to end his life in pain. But he was an awesome man and father, and I miss him terribly. We were supposed to be rocking in rockers at the old folks home with him hounding me to make love. Everytime I look at his picture is a time I remember him smiling...and I miss him so..

I wish I didn't know what you were going through. My husband died 18 days ago from a pulmonary embolism (blood clot). He went out to go pick our trailer with my daughter and collapsed and never came home. I was completed blind-sided, there were no indications that this would happen. <br />
<br />
I'm learning already that there are no answers to the WHY question. I've asked it a million times myself, but I don't think it is something I will ever know. <br />
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I'm so sorry that you are going through this too. It's the hardest thing ever.<br />
<br />
I also have 3 kids - age 10, 8 and 5 and watching them grieve rips my heart to pieces every time.

Thank You for sharing your experience with me, I know exactly how you felt, I too want to lock myself away, and have so many questions Ill never get answers too, its so very hard. I also dread the future and have no idea how Ill cope or live through it.

i'm right there with you. when i lost my husband he was 38 years old. we woke up played around then due to time had to leave and made a promise for that afternoon. oh God i miss him so much. he never came home that day. he died at work. the day before he died he had a physical and was pronouned in perfect health. he died because of an accident at work. That was 17 months ago. not long really. i took to my bed for over a year. my sister in law checked on me weekly. she would come to my house and clean and cook for me. she is truely one of the reasons that i am still living today. if i could have willed for my heart to stop i would have, but i couldn't. i suddenly woke up this past may.that was only 3 months ago. i couldn't make decisions of any sort. oh i still miss him so much. i cried so hard when my world fell apart that my face became chapped and my mother kept forcing me to drink water so that i would not dehydrate. i was in a total zombie state. my sister took me to the doctor this past christmas and looked at him and said you have to fix my sister. it is hard. there is no denying that. somhow we get through. i am up! that is my saying now. not that i like what my life has become but for some reason i was left here as are you. i am now trying to figure out what my reason is. in time you will be able to look for the reason that you are here. but for now just grieve. that is very important. you must grieve in order to survive later. i have never gotten the answers to my whys but i get answers daily now. i will bump into someone at the grocery store or somewhere. and they want to share a story about him with me. all the pitty looks will eventually go away for the most part. it will get easier as you develope your new routines. not better never better, just some how easier with practice. (((HUGS)))