Trying To Learn This New Life

My husband died a month ago. He was the victim of a hit and run. He was walking back from the store. He was less than 2 minutes from being home. He was left to die in the street. It was not until the next morning that the passenger of the vehicle alerted police.
He called me from the store to let me know that he had bought a ham for me to cook for him. When he was not home in the next 15 minutes, I began texting and calling his phone. An hour passed and I paced my front yard,hoping to see him walk down the street. When I heard sirens,my heart sank. Then a highway patrol car approached and told me my husband had been injured. When I arrived at the hospital, the made me wait in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity. Finally, a nurse brings me to a small empty waiting room and tells me my husband has died. Then, a officer from highway patrol tells me it is a hit and run. She hands me his money clip, but then immediately takes it back...she said she cannot allow me to have his drivers license, he must be taken out of the system. She then gives it to me, after removing his ID. It is stained with his blood.
I come home to my three children, ages seven,two, and three months, who are wondering why Uncle Charlie showed up to baby sit them. I then tell my seven year old the awful news.
The incedent was caught on the surveillance camara from the conveniance store. It was aired on the news and put on youtube. I made the mistake of watching the video of my husband being killed. It haunts me. It shows the first truck drag him and as he is left in the street, a second truck slowely drives over him as they make their way into the turning lane. And yes, they also left him.
I do not know what is harder...me being without him, or my children. My two year old asks for him everyday and no matter how I explain it,she still asks. My seven year old has endured saddness and anger no seven year old should bear.
I was privaledged to have ten wonderful years with my husband. We did everything together, so now my children and I are left to learn how to do everything with out him.
mgk83 mgk83
26-30
2 Responses May 12, 2012

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. My husband was shot and killed 4 months ago in April and I can't get past the crime, the murder. I am such an angry, bitter person. I am going to a grief counselor yet she's never been in my shoes so she doesn't understand but she is a good listener. I lost several people that I loved suddenly in my life but nothing compares to losing my husband because someone killed him. My whole life has changed, I don't want this life, I wanted that life, the one with him. I don't fit anywhere. There are things to do for couples and things to do for single people but nothing to do when you are married but you are left single because someone took your husband from you for a wallet and cell phone. I'm sorry you are going through this pain and that your children are also. I am here if you want to chat.

I can't imagine your pain at present. My husband died unexpectedly also, but I did not have to watch such a horrid scene as you did. I can tell you at present because it is so early you just need to go through the least amount of a daily routine as one can with three kids. It will be difficult. I was left with three special needs adopted children and while you are trying to determine if it is a dream or reality, their needs will escalate. I pray you have a strong support group. Google Grief Share and put in your zipcode to find an awesome support group and class It is worldwide. I took the class twice and felt the most support. My eight year old suffers from depression now and is in therapy to deal with the loss. Please feel free to contact me if you wish. I don't have all the answers but, I am still on the journey a bit ahead of you. Take lots of deep breaths and remind God He has promised to be a husband to the widow and father to the orphans. You will live again in time.