Lost

On June 25th 2012 my fiance and father of our now 7 month old daughter was killed in a work accident. He was just supposed to go to work and come home like he always did... The night before the accident he said to me "let's get married next summer" and I said "okay". He would have gone to the court house any day of the week but I wanted us to have a wedding with our family and friends. I wanted us to save some money for a house first... Now I wish I would have just done it. He was made for me and I him... He changed my life and I know I changed his.. It kills me that our daughter will never remember the 4 months she had with him and will never be able to hug, kiss or play with her daddy. He loved her so much.. She was the Light of his Life. He changed diapers, bathed her, fed her and spent hours walking her around the house because that was the only thing that kept her from crying. On his days off he would get up with her and let me sleep in. He would take her for walks, to the mall and even took her for an day trip to his family farm when she was only 3 months old. I am so lost without him and don't know how I am supposed to live the rest of my life without him in it. I need him for everything and he is just gone. I will never get married because my wedding dreams were meant for him and I do not want that experience with anyone else. I am thankful for my daughter.. She saved me. Without her I don't know where I would be or if I even would be... I have to get out of bed because of her.. I have to eat because of her (although I now weigh less than I did prior to getting pregnant). My fiance's mom has told me that she wishes he had never met me because then he would still be alive.. and that all I care about is the money and she doubts I will use any of it to take care of the baby. I have amazing family and friends who have been so wonderful through all of this so I am lucky in that regard but no one knows what I am feeling...
Kiki12345678 Kiki12345678
26-30
2 Responses Sep 16, 2012

Really sorry to hear about your loss. Also that little soul, who will not remember her father.

I am very sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something helpful, but I am sorry.

Thank You