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Dazed And Confused

Day 26...Still can't believe any of this is real. Feeling so lost and sometimes emotionless. It's as if everyone else's lives are going on normally, and here I sit motionless. I just want to crawl up into a ball and stay there. I can't even imagine how to live my life without my husband anymore. I also have a 10 year old son who is trying to cope with all of this so it is hard for me to have any time to grieve myself. He doesn't like me to be alone, or look sad. He says it makes him sad, but some times I just want to be alone to clear my head. Not sure how to handle all of this.
An Ep User An EP User 2 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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Hi. I am 27 years old and have a 5 year old son and we lost my husband and his dad next month will be 2 years ago. I feel those exact feeling but I never wanted to be alone, so I moved my best friend in with me. But I always escape to the tub after my son was asleep, I will listen to music and cry. Its okay, and its good to cry. Its still hard for me everyday but I have recently started counseling 2 times a week and has helped me to see the progress I have made instead of only seeing the bad. And in my case I am having to realize that I have finally kept a job for 90 days since my husband passed away. That's a big step up. Your gonna make it through some bad days and one day look back and think how did I do it then?? But your gonna be that much stronger!

Your not going backwards. Its just gonna take you a little longer than others to get through life, but your gonna make it through. Keep your head up. Stay positive.

It's been about the same time for me as for you... My husband passed away Dec 30th... And although I know in my mind its real, it still doesn't feel that way sometimes... I'll find myself thinking that he's coming home soon... Or that ill get a text from him telling me he's ok... The last 27 days for me have gone by quickly, but also seems so slow... Everyone else is living their lives normally, why can't I? I rarely feel hungry, I've lost 20 pounds since this all happened... I prefer to be at work than at home alone with our dogs... Too easy to sit and think and wish he were sitting next to me with his arms around me... Everytime I think I'm doing better and starting to heal, I find myself going backwards and crying uncontrollably...