A Widow Too Soon

On the morning of January 5, 2009 I found my husband dead lieing next to me. We went to bed the night before like we usually with my staying up a little later. He had a funny discoloration on his side. I was scared and didnt know what to do. I tried tickling him because it annoyed him but I would usually get some sort of movement out of him. I tried calling my mom a few times then my sister but couldn't get a hold of either one. I saw one of my neighbors outside and ran to get her. She called 911 for me and stayed until she had to go to work and helped out the best she could. A couple of other neighbors came and stayed as well. I just was in total shock and unsure of what to do.

GoldenPoetry GoldenPoetry
26-30, F
13 Responses Jan 10, 2009

I know this post is acouple yrs old, but... My husband didnt come to bed until 3 am on Sep9th10. He didnt wake at all the next am, I figured it was becasue of exaustion.He snored all day,soeventhouhg itwas a bit differentIfigured ok he is snoring he is breathing ok. I had tried several time to wake him through the day, but again he was snoring. I figured he must have been real tired becasue he hasnt slept much the nights before . At 2:30 that afternoon I knew something wasnt right. He stoped snoring and his color changed. Called 911... after restarting his heart a couple time at the hopsital, we lost him to a sever cardiac arrest. I felt I should have know something wasnt right sooner.That if I would have gotten him to the hopsital sooner he would havebeen ok. I know there was nothing more I could have done, but he was only 26.

Hi, my name is Tim. also had the same experience. The morning of thanksgiving 2009 I awoke to find my wife lying beside me in our bed. She had been sick the last year she was alive. I am in counciling as well as my son.The shock lasted till the next year and I am learning to except the things I can not change now and still miss her more than anything.I wish you all the love and respect your strength you have to move on in life only when you are ready. I sympathize with you for your loss.<br />
my reguards<br />
<br />
Samplemaker1<br />
<br />

I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well. Unfortunately I would say the shock really never goes away but it's not as shocking as time goes on. Just remember that God is with you no matter what and you will get through this. My husband didn't have any kind of sickness other than like high blood pressure, psuedohypothyrodism, and sleep apnea. For all we know he could have had something that was diagnosed but wasn't found in the autopsy so in reality who knows. I certainly hope that counseling is helping you and your son and that you have plenty of family there for you.

keepgoing: The hardest I think was the shock that it was so sudden and I didn't know that it was going to happen. Right now I think the hardest is the loneliness for me because I miss the companionship at night and just having someone around. Everyone handles being a widow differently but I think as long as you have plenty of friends and family around and honestly the faith of God you will get through anything that may come your way.

OMG. My husband didnt die yet, but I feel like he could. I wonder what I will have to do as a widow. How will I do as a widow. <br />
<br />
How are you gals doing? What is the hardest?

My sincerest condolences to all of you who have been through such a rough time in your lives. May you find the strength to be at peace again!

Hi Golden Poetry, <br />
Did you ever find out what the actual cause of your husband's death? Did the coroner do an autopsy? They did one on my husband.He had a massive heart attack, but they also found he had Coronary Artery Disease.He had severe blocked arteries,which caused him to have his heart attack.The Coroner called me, told me about how my husband died.He told me how there wasnt anything I could have done to stop it.It was just his time.In SOME ways,it helped me.It made me know that I eventhough I tried my hardest,there still wasnt anything I couldve done harder,or differently.It just wouldve prolonged his death.The Coroner also told me,even if the paramedics got there quicker,with the shock-paddles,that it wouldnt have done anything but prolonged his death.I,honestly,was relieved to get that call.It helped with the self-blame.It made me know I did all I could.I still...blame myself every now and then.But I have a habit of blaming myself for everything.Just me.But in my heart...it helped.So did they tell you how your husband died,or what he died of?Can i ask, how old are you and where your from? I am from Ontario Canada.

Hello LibertyBell, and Golden Poetry,

My love died of atherosclerosis, I found him and it was too late. My sister, a nurse, generously called a friend who is a cardiologist for me to have an appointment with him to ask questions. Even though he has assured me that I could not have saved my Steven, I blame myself everyday, and wonder, "what if?" I understand your pain. My thoughts are with you. ♥♥♥

I am a young widow too.I am 35,I lost my husband Dec.6,2008. He was 36.He had a massive heart attack,and died.I was with him,i tried to save him, but couldnt.I blame myself.We were together for 5years,just had our 1st (and only)wedding anniversary Sept,29.2008.He was my best friend,my everything.Im lost now without him.Ive wanted to kill myself,but cant leave our dog,cat and ferret.We had no kids.<br />
If you want to talk, or someone to listen...feel free to msg me.

Thank you very much. It's still very hard. I am currently staying in the apartment that we were living but only because it's close to work and I can easily catch the bus to go to school. And also the lease doesn't end until next month.

My husband died on January 2 this year I m 28 years old and I dont now if I can go on with this. Can you please help me with some advice? Sorry if I bring bad memories to you.

I am so sorry you lost your husband. Strange saying it like that, we didn't "lose" them, they were taken from us. Anyway, you have my prayers. There are no words express what you are going through, I know. And no words that'll really help either, but there are those that care and understand some of what you're going through. Cry whan you feel the need, talk when you need to, others may not know what to say, but they do care. I still "talk" to my husband and I write in a journal a few times a week. It helps, not a lot sometimes, but some.

Thank you everyone.

I remember a story like that before. It happened to a girl from work. Woke up to find her husband dead by her side. Just like that. Heart attack it seems...<br />
I kept the fear with me since then. I wake up in panic sometimes at night and go back to sleep after listening my husband's sleeping. Just scary.

I'm very sorry thats happened. Its hard losing people you love. Has the shell shock worn off yet?<br />
You have my support and best wishes.

Wow. That's terrible. I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you happiness and strength.