I Wish It Was January 4th, 2009

When I woke up on January 5Th to get ready for work it was just like any other day. I get up around 3:30 a.m. and leave the house about 4:50 a.m.. I like to sit and have a couple of cups of coffee and watch the morning news.
  I went to work and did the normal things I usually do. I had plans to take my new puppy I had gotten before Thanksgiving to get his final set of shots after work that day. My 15 year old son was going to go with me.

I got home that day around 3:15 and was in a complete rush because the puppy had an appt. for 3:30. My other two daughters who had been gone came home about ten minutes before I did. When I came inside I was like OK let's go and my older daughter who is 16 told me that the newspaper was still on the driveway when she got home. And then my son said that dad hadn't been out of his room yet today. My son who had been home all day was up all night the night before playing on his xbox360 and was going to bed about the time I was leaving for work. Anyways he had not even woken up until about 1:30 on the 5Th of January. This was there last day of winter break before they went back to school.

When the kids told me those two things I looked in at the coffee pot in the kitchen and realized that my husband had not even made himself coffee. I went running to our bedroom and found him laying on our bedroom floor dead. He must have been working at his laptop at his desk and died. It must have happened pretty early in the morning because he was so blue when I found him. I called 911 but I knew he was dead. I still can't believe this has happened. He had a massive heart attack. I miss him so much. We have 4 kids. 18, 16, 15, and 13. I have never felt so numb and dazed before in my life. I never realized just how fast your life can change. And I mean fast. One minute I'm thinking that I need to take the puppy to get his last set of shots and then two hours later I'm picking out clothes for My husbands burial.  Then the next day I'm picking out a casket and burial sight.

I guess I could go on and on about those minutes, hours, and days when my husband passed away. I just needed to get this out to people who may have an understanding of what I'm going through.




imsum1 imsum1
36-40, F
2 Responses Feb 13, 2009

I am sooo sorry for your loss.. I lost my husband suddenly and know that right now it doesnt seem to be at all right and it never will.. Just know that talking about it helps.. It will never get easier it just gets different...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was a young widow at 32. My husband died of leukemia. I was left with 2 young daughters, 4 & 11. Take your time. I am happily remarried today and am the luckiest woman to have been loved by two wonderful men!