I Want to Run Wild and Wail Freely

I lost my husband on the 18/02/2009 to brain aneurysm, he was only 28 years old. May he rest in peace.

On the 16th he came home from college about 4:20 pm. then had a wash and complained about a headache. and thats all I know! he just gave up right there and then infront of my eyes and my two little girls. He never opened his beautiful brown eyes again. By 5:00 pm I had him at the hospital....My sweet sweet beautiful husband had no chance.

I want him back, I am going insane.I don't know what to do. I kissed and embraced him as much as I could....IT WAS NOT ENOUGH. 5 Years is way too short for a marriage.

My baby please come back to me please do.

Love you with my entire being, have mercy, be with me.

thawarriorprincess thawarriorprincess
4 Responses Mar 31, 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss Warrior princess. The Red Lady is correct ( as always ). It doesn't go away or get easier for a LONG time. All we can do is try to get through each day ona at a time. My wife passed away on Dec.8th. We were married for 30 years, together for 33. She was only 52. I NEVER thought for a minute she would go before me or this soon. We were supposed to have 30 more years. Our kids are adults and live on their own. I sit and look at her empty chair where she sat reading every night and just cry my eyes out. Each night I wonder how much longer I can take this pain. I understand how you feel. If there is a support group in your area, it will help to meet with others who are in the same pain. I live in Rochester NY and went to my first meeting last night called surviving spouses bereavement at Lifetime Health. It was a painful meeting because EVERYONE there has such a sad story to tell but somehow when you meet others in the same pain and make new friends to talk to, it will help you cope a little bit better. We are always here to talk to when you need to. The Red Lady is a wonderful help.She always has such great things to say. Please accept my condolences.

I'm so sorry for your loss...I myself had loss my husband last 5 nov 2009 of brain aneurysm. Its very painful because he died just two days after his 37th birthday and 5 days before my 38th birthday. It hurts more when I have to rigester his death on my birthday.My husband was a fit young man and all of a sudden he had this severe headache in the middle on the night. The day before it happen he was just saving life and after few hours I was rushing him to emergency. Until now I'm still shock. I go to bed crying and then wake up crying...times I wanted to die but we have one eleven year old boy. We been together for 12 years but I think its not enough as well. We have dreams of going to places..just on the week I took him in hospital we are suppose to having holiday in Rome...I feel cheated and been rob . I can't understand why is this happening. I never taught he will leave this early...it really hurts and so painful. My whole life is shattered. The man of my life...my lover, soul mate, bestfriend and everything is gone. I miss him so much that some days I never stop crying.

i agree it never gets better it just changes - you live each day and wonder at the end how you made it through, i have two wonderful kids but sometimes i would love to be completely on my own so that i didnt have to push through each day<br />
take each day a momment at a time, do what every you need to do to make it - worry about other things later - i tried at the start to do everything and i realise it was just not possible your brain can not handle it - consentrate on the necessities of each day - the rest can wait

Hey warriorprincess,<br />
We are all here for you. Here in this group we are all widows and widowers who have lost our loved ones. There is also one dear young man who lost his most beloved intended. Married in heart and soul. We know you can do this. We will help you. keep talking to us. Share your thoughts and feelings and read ours as well and you will see. Our experiences differ but our lives share the same loss. Our feelings, thoughts, grief and sense of loss, anger and unending sadness are eerily the same.<br />
It has been so helpful for me to be here and read some of the stories. Even though I have found a new foothold in my life I still grieve, but I know that he would want me to move on. I find it hard sometimes even still to move on, I have moments when I just sit and cry. It will be okay one day.<br />
It isn't going to get better, but it will change. Your life will change, how you do things will change, how you look at daily life will change. <br />
Your daughters need you. Everything you and your husband meant to each other has made you stronger. You will see this in time. Your love for each other will pull you through. Your children will see you through.<br />
They are feeling similar feelings as you. Not the same, but they are feeling the loss as well. Be there for them, fill the gap. <br />
Don't rush it. It takes time. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to get back in the game. You don't. <br />
Remember to talk to someone. Someone who will listen. <br />
We here will listen. Run wild in this group with your thoughts and feelings. We understand. We will cry together.