Young Widow At 32

I am a widow now at the age of 32.  I have three children ages 12, 11 and 5 my finanee and I were together for 7 years he helped raise my other children. 

It has been six months now since he passed away, I feel so lost and hurt all the time, all I do is cry.  I just don't know how to keep going on then I look at my kids and have to that is what he would have wanted but it is so hard when you don't have your bestfriend by your side.  I talk to his pictures every day and cry everyday as well.  I am just so lost. 

There is just so much to add but don't even know where to start or to make this into a book he was my life and my bestfriend my rock just my everything.  I don't even sleep in our bed because of this for the last six months I sleep out on the couch :(  I just miss him so much and don't know where to turn

Gretch1977 Gretch1977 31-35, F 3 Responses May 17, 2009

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I too am a widow at age 32. My vivacious and charismatic husband died of a sudden heartattack 1 month ago, we are expecting our first child this December and he was on top of the world with joy. I think I am slowly coming out of the initial shock so things seem to be getting worse before they get any better. My focus is my unborn daughter since she is all I have left of such a wonderful and giving man, my soulmate. I feel the struggles that we share are here for a reason, maybe to make us stronger, I don't know I'm still trying to figure it out. Right now I am trying to make my husband's death meaningful in someway since it makes no sense why he would be taken away so suddenly and the prime of his life. I hope they we can all support each other and lend eachother a helping hand. Feel free to contact me.

my husband just passed away on may 10,09 it was mother's day this year. we had such a good morning him me and our soon to be 3 year old daughter. he went to work that day and never came home again. I miss him so much sometimes it's hard to breathe, your story really hit home with me, I haven't been able to sleep in bed either since the accident, probably never will be able to again. he was everything to me and my daughter. I'm a stay at home mom, a homaker for which I feel I have no home to make for anymore. He was my very best friend in life, I don't know how I will ever move on from this, our daughter hasn't been taking it well at all either, she can't sleep at night, is cranky all day, I feel so horrible for her that she will never know the greatness that I knew.

I think you may be going through the hardest time right now believe it or not. At least around 6 months was for me. The shock had worn off, and I was just learning to find myself my purpose again. Really I was just beginning, I think, to accept the reality of what had happened. I really started to miss my Matti she was my world for so long.

I will never forget my wife my best friend but I also know I need to try and move on and not just for the kids but for me and for Matti. EP has helped it has given me a place to share how I felt about her and it gave me an opportunity to meet some wonderful new people some of who have become very good friends of mine, in all honesty at time I don't know what I would do without the friends I made on EP. My EP friends also helped give me the courage to go out and make so new friends in Real Life :)

here is a quote I have shared a few times on EP from Embraced by the Light. It is something I truly believe.

"We are here to help each other, to care for each other, to understand, forgive, and serve one another. We are here to have love for every person born on earth."

I offer you my understanding, support and love If I can help you in any way feel free to ask. I can say I will have answers but I can say I understand some of what your going through ....