Young Widow At 32

I am a widow now at the age of 32.  I have three children ages 12, 11 and 5 my finanee and I were together for 7 years he helped raise my other children. 

It has been six months now since he passed away, I feel so lost and hurt all the time, all I do is cry.  I just don't know how to keep going on then I look at my kids and have to that is what he would have wanted but it is so hard when you don't have your bestfriend by your side.  I talk to his pictures every day and cry everyday as well.  I am just so lost. 

There is just so much to add but don't even know where to start or to make this into a book he was my life and my bestfriend my rock just my everything.  I don't even sleep in our bed because of this for the last six months I sleep out on the couch :(  I just miss him so much and don't know where to turn

Gretch1977 Gretch1977
31-35, F
3 Responses May 17, 2009

Hello,<br />
<br />
I too am a widow at age 32. My vivacious and charismatic husband died of a sudden heartattack 1 month ago, we are expecting our first child this December and he was on top of the world with joy. I think I am slowly coming out of the initial shock so things seem to be getting worse before they get any better. My focus is my unborn daughter since she is all I have left of such a wonderful and giving man, my soulmate. I feel the struggles that we share are here for a reason, maybe to make us stronger, I don't know I'm still trying to figure it out. Right now I am trying to make my husband's death meaningful in someway since it makes no sense why he would be taken away so suddenly and the prime of his life. I hope they we can all support each other and lend eachother a helping hand. Feel free to contact me.

my husband just passed away on may 10,09 it was mother's day this year. we had such a good morning him me and our soon to be 3 year old daughter. he went to work that day and never came home again. I miss him so much sometimes it's hard to breathe, your story really hit home with me, I haven't been able to sleep in bed either since the accident, probably never will be able to again. he was everything to me and my daughter. I'm a stay at home mom, a homaker for which I feel I have no home to make for anymore. He was my very best friend in life, I don't know how I will ever move on from this, our daughter hasn't been taking it well at all either, she can't sleep at night, is cranky all day, I feel so horrible for her that she will never know the greatness that I knew.

I think you may be going through the hardest time right now believe it or not. At least around 6 months was for me. The shock had worn off, and I was just learning to find myself my purpose again. Really I was just beginning, I think, to accept the reality of what had happened. I really started to miss my Matti she was my world for so long.<br />
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I will never forget my wife my best friend but I also know I need to try and move on and not just for the kids but for me and for Matti. EP has helped it has given me a place to share how I felt about her and it gave me an opportunity to meet some wonderful new people some of who have become very good friends of mine, in all honesty at time I don't know what I would do without the friends I made on EP. My EP friends also helped give me the courage to go out and make so new friends in Real Life :) <br />
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here is a quote I have shared a few times on EP from Embraced by the Light. It is something I truly believe. <br />
"We are here to help each other, to care for each other, to understand, forgive, and serve one another. We are here to have love for every person born on earth." <br />
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I offer you my understanding, support and love If I can help you in any way feel free to ask. I can say I will have answers but I can say I understand some of what your going through ....