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29 Year Old Widow

Hello all, i came upon this site when looking for a group to talk with that have experienced the same heartache, life changing, most difficult thing that has happened to me that I experienced a month ago.  My husband and I just got married in September and in the beginning of November he died in my arms and still have yet to find out why. He was a healthy man, so that's what makes it even harder with the what happened question that I am feeling.  I sincerely lost my best friend and soulmate that I dont know how to get passed this.  Im 29, and he was 30 so that is why the question "why" goes through my head every 5 minutes. Why did this have to happen to us we just got married, had plans, bought a house earlier this year and were planning on starting our family the end of next year. I just keep saying to him  I hope when you got up there you asked why did you get shorted on your life, when we had so much more to live for. I would love to talk with people that are experiencing the same thing that I am going through, because their are people here for me that want to try to help me through this but they themself have not gone through a situation like this, so them trying to tell me how to handle this I dont see how they can relate.

hisforeverandalways hisforeverandalways 26-30, F 32 Responses Dec 5, 2009

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I feel your pain . I just lost my husband 3 weeks ago in a car accident we just got married last Sept 18,2014. I just don't know what to do. He's my everything. I miss him so bad..

I'm 34 years old and my husband (30) died on September 2nd, 2014. Our kids first day of school. He was also extremely healthy. He went to bed and never woke. I heard him snoring at 3 am but by 7:30 am he was dead. He had an autopsy and it showed his organs were fine and now I have to wait approximately 2 months to find out toxicology. He wasn't on drugs or anything. I also have the WHY question every 5 seconds and i'm so heartbroken he was my best friend and soul mate for 8 yrs.

Life is cruel and senseless, and unfortunately there is no answer unless one is religious and finds answers there. Wishing you strength and peace. The memories you hold of him will bring you comfort at this dark hour.

Im 28. My girlfriend was 25. We were expecting a baby boy, due 5th February 2014. The baby was not growing apparently,and she had to have a caesarian on 25th december 2013. All seemed ok, but she got ill on the morning of the 26th december, the cause the hospital didnt know. She died on the 30th december.... absolutely destroyed but i have to keep going for our son but it is so hard and still so up and down :(

Hello HisForeverAndAlways, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your best friend and soulmate... I too am living the ultimate nightmare of loosing my soulmate. He was 44, but healthy and vivacious. I am 33 years young. We married in Oct 2012 and 3 weeks ago, he passed away. I feel alone and misunderstood as well. If another person tells me their unsolicited advice of "it will get better in time" or "would he want you to be this sad?" I'm going to snap!
What a travesty you are going through. I looked on this page seeking contact/communication with someone who understands what I am experiencing. Unfortunately it is only young wives that are or have experienced the same; no one else has the capacity to understand! I am here to listen anytime should you need an outlet to vent. My heart aches for you and you and your angel will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Wow! I get it. I'm 44 and coming up on the 1 year anniversary of his death. As a general rule of thumb in ALL aspects of life.. advice is valued through experiences. They have no idea how they would handle this situation. They are trying to help you the best they know how. Ever notice a complete stranger can tell you have lost your love? We wear our grief in our eyes and our face. This past year I have aged considerably. I have multiple wrinkles around my eyes, between my eyebrows, and on the side of my mouth from that uncontrollable weeping. That deep sorrowful shattering of your heart is very real. No one but another widow or widower that was IN LOVE with their best friend, lover, soul-mate would understand. i have learned this past year that even tho we have experianced the greatest loss of our life and you meet another person who has as well....they are never the same. Kinda like our finger prints or the pattern of your eye. I was pretty angry and still am at times. I feel robbed of life x 2. It feels like life has ended for me also. This is not so and I remind myself every day sometimes multiple times a day. This is not going to destroy me and your going to keep going forward, it's going to hurt but keep going forward. I can't tell you how many times I heard the phrase, "God doesn't give us more than we can handle". I've had several emotional responses to that. My 1st response was I wish God would stop thinking i'm so strong. Why must this be I asked God probably close to 1000 times. There's no one on earth that knew me better or loved me more than him. I loved him more than anyone on earth. The question you need to ask yourself is ..Are you going to let this defeat you? Are you going to lay down and give up? Are you going to rise up and be the strong survivor God intended you to be? Being strong is a minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, night by night journey of multiple emotions. You must go through them. just remember all you have to do is simply breath and keep going forward. Even when if feels you don't know what your doing or what to do. Just simply live. Worry about today, tomorrow will worry about itself. From my 1st initial experience when my husband passed away he was over 600 miles from me. i could hear 100's of angels praying blessings over me. Their voices drowned out the dozen of people surrounding me crying and talking loud..I had such a strong vibration in my entire body for close to 14 days. My husband and I were together for 5 1/2 years. There is someone or multiple someones that your story is meant to help and you are meant to help. They pop up out of nowhere. But at the right time. I pray blessings over you and your family. I will keep praying for you.
Lori

You give me solace reading your post! It's exactly how I think and feel even though my nightmare has only just begun. It is a comfort though to know I am not the only widow that feels the way I do. It is so fascinating to me to read similar or identical emotions I am experiencing. Thank you for your post. I will take to heart knowing there are other amazing, loyal, and strong wives soldiering through such tragic situations like mine. God bless, you and your family are in my prayers 😉

I am a 33year old woman going through the exact same thing, recently lost my darling husband, best friend, lover and hero and can't see the use in death at all. I can not go on living without him, I can't imagine one single day without him and find myself wondering all day what he's doing, how he's doing, is he missing me as much as I miss him and do he still love me at all. I have 4 kids to raise all on my own now and he loved me and the kids more than his own live or anything else, although that love didn't count for anything when it came time for him to GO, I hate death and lately I even hate life and everything about it

Am also a 30 years old widowed. I lost my husband on May 2012 (motor accident). We were 7 years together and 1 year married. I miss him so much! He loved children but I was thinking that we have time for that.. And he left me.. And now am alone. Many says "she is young, she can make her life again". The truth is, now August 2013, am worse than ever...
I saw that you post this in 2009.. If you see my response, I would like to hear from you: how is your life after 3 years? am worried about mine. They say: time is a healer, am not so sure :(

Hi, I'm sorry about your husband. I'm 23 years old, my husband was involved in a car accident November 2012, eleven days after we celebrated my birthday. We were married for 2 years and had just given birth to our first born child, he was only 4 and 1/2 months old.
My husband's death was so sudden, it took me by surprise, about 30 minutes before he had an accident, we had just talked on the phone, he told me he wont forget me, it was as if he knew what was gonna happen and wanted to assure me that he loves me and will never leave me by choice. When I heard about the accident, first thing I did was to go down on my knees and pray. I didn't know what to say,so I said the Lord's prayer. I cried for so many days, and I still cry for him, but I keep all my trust in God, I give him all my troubles, and ask him to strengthen me, to keep reminding me that all that happens is His will, that He has a very good reason for what happened, He didn't take my husband's life to spite me, but because it had to happen, I may not understand why, but someday I will.
I would like to advice you to make friends with your bible, read about Job, about how he kept trusting in God even when it seemed like He had forgotten about him, it will strengthen you. One day, Jesus Christ will come back to earth to take us back to heaven with Him, He will raise the dead, and we'll be together again, we are going to see our loved ones again, and spend eternity with them, have faith. I hope sharing my story with you will be helpful.

I reached this place by chance. I am sorry to note the grief of departure of the beloved all too quickly. It gives a new feeling going through the experience. I do not know what it gives me.
I am a widower of 30 years. My beloved wife, my most valued possession in my life, passed away from me on 27th Nov. 2011. She was 26 years when she escaped to a different world.
Ours was an arranged marriage. She was tall, beautiful, intelligent and was a perfect match to my tall figure. People had been asking my parents how you could find such a perfect match and used to comment that they are made for each other.
My biggest surprise however was to come later. I was later to discover that apart from the physical match she was matching to me in every sense in thought, action likes and dislikes
and answers for every issue. Each of the day immediately after the marriage we were so happy to discover our similarity in one or other new subject and in no time we were in unison and in perfect harmony with each other. We were profoundly thankful to our parents for bringing us together. I was working in a European country and we left after marriage to my workplace. I had bought a house and planned for our future. She was supportive to all my plans and our discussions never had any difference of opinion and we always ended up with a unified opinion on all matters. As part of our plan for future she learned the language and as the intelligent girl she was, she came first in the list. We celebrated the same and planned further that she should take up research work in the prestegeous university nearby
She got admission with out any difficulty.

Our appreciation and love for each other had given us immense pleasure and we never had any issues between us. Whenever I had any doubt with any thing, she used to be with the answer or she too used to think in the way and either we arrived a solution and discarded the issue on its merit happily.

Life was for us filled with happiness and bliss.

We were married for around one and half year and we were planning for a child.
She started attending the university. She would come in the evening and we will discuss the day and I used to help her with her work to make things easy for her.

Life was nothing but enjoyment for us.

Things took a turn suddenly.She ended her life in two months since she started attending the university, making me shell shocked and numb.

I don't know why this unlucky event.happened. I shifted to my country. and live a dazed life not able to relate things and not able to prevent the involuntary sound that comes out occasionally when moments of her thoughts, interactions or intimacy comes in mind.

It all started with a minor ailment. She had an inflamed piles which kept bothering her for a week despite controlling diet and taking mild medications. When the condition became
more bothering she couldn't bear the pain and discomfort. On consulting the doctor specified routine medications to be taken for a couple of weeks. But she was no better,but became worse and couldn't bear. She couldn't sleep and became tensed up and apprehensive that the situation may worsen and she may not be able to cope up with.

I helped her in all the way under total agony looking at her suffering and crying uncontrollably cursing the bad luck. She used to put up bold face and hide her pain to make me happy.
One day she even left for the university telling that she is feeling fine. I was also bit relieved to note the change and hoped that the situation will improve with the change.

That day I got a frantic call from her from the University to come and pick her up as she has become panicky and unable to concentrate on anything.

I rushed frantically with a heavy heart and picked her up brought home and from there on wards she was never her soul again.

She started crying uncontrollably and feeling sorry for me for the trouble she is giving to me.
on account of the sudden ill health. The next day we met the medical consultant who again as matter of fact routine prescribed anti depressant drugs with instructions to take for a week and report back. However she neither got relief but became worse and lost her sleep completely and started cursing herself for being sick and burden for me. Despite all my efforts to pacify her and bring out of the tension she was in I could only watch with heavy heart and numb feeling that she couldn't be pacified. Finally we decided to go to our parents. She was left under care of her parents and under the treatment from medicos.
It appeared that she was improving. A two week's stay seemed to make some change but which was deceptive.

I left her with her parents with heavy heart but telling them to take good care. I went to my work place with intention to come back after taking a long leave to be with her to completely cure her of the bothering ailment.

But the next day I had the shock of my life. Leaving me numb and making life a worthless concept. From total bliss to utter worthlessness in less than two months.

In the parents house she ended her life hanging leaving a note that she didn't want to be a burden for me with the ailment she had, because she loved me so much; more than her life.
It was mere a bad luck she could have been cured easily. But she took the extreme step thinking herself otherwise. She gave a slip to parents in the pretext of going to sleep in side the room.

On Nov.27 th it is one year. For me it was yesterday. Life with out Manju is unimaginable for me. People round say that I should forget and start living. But How?. Why did this happen to me? I am now a walking dead man, for me things around has lost their perspective. I feel her near me, I feel that she will come back to me one day. I cannot accept the reality. I wrote this so that I may get a different feeling. But doesn't help me.

I am 23 years old and I lost my husband on June 16th 2012. We were both on dirt bikes and the one i was on ran out of gas so he was going to head back for a gas can, he kissed me and told me he loved me he would be rite back. There was a car coming down the road so he moved over to avoid them and when he did he hit some lose gravel and lost control of the bike and hit a brick mail box. That was the last time i saw his beautiful smile. We met 6 years ago and were best friends for 4 years before we got married on February 25th 2011! He was my everything, my whole world. My whole life iv had friends and people let me down, when i really needed them they were never there but I could always count on my baby, he made sure not a single moment went by without letting me know just how much he loved me.. He was so special and what we had was the most wonderful thing in the world, IT WAS REAL and unfortunatly that is hard to find now days... I have a wonderful family that has been here for me but i just feel like they dont understand what i am going through, the pain i feel, the emptiness in my heart and there is a part of me that doesnt want them to because i do not want them to worry about me. I feel so lost without him, i get up every day and go to work but everything outside of that is just total caos, every morning i have to wake up and he is not there it kills me, from the day we started living together there was not a single morning he didnt kiss me on my forehead and tell me how beautiful i was and every night i have to lay in bed and he is not there for me to snuggle up to ugh i hate it and i get tired of people telling me youll find love like that again bc they just dont get it, i planned the rest of my life with him and no one could ever replace him. I just feel like a total crazy woman sometimes bc im just on this rollercoaster of emotions and i just want him back so much... People say time heals but it seems like the more time that passes the harder it is, it just gets easier to control my emotions but the pain hurts more now than the night it happened... Can anyone relate or am i really losing my mind?

Oh sweetie, I understand. Doesn't it feel hopeless that life will ever provide any happiness that could even come close to how happy you were with your husband? I don't want to be negative or seem like I'm "giving in" to my grief, but I feel it impossible to find the joy of life anymore. I feel like an empty shell of what once was a blessed and happy soul. Now that my soulmate has passed away, he took my soul and heart with him to heaven. I go over constant hypotheticals of afterlife. I find myself negotiating and pleading with God to let me be with my beloved. What's the point in faking it to make it through life when I died the moment my husband died? I am 33 and will always be available to hear your thoughts or emotions. Please email me anytime you need a friend
Andie

On friday it will be ten months since I lost my wife on September 20th 2011. She had medical issues since she was a baby. I told her when we dated that her medical issues are a part of her but they did not make who she is. She loved hearing that from me. I proudly was her caregiver for the last six years of her life. I never regret that decision because it was more time I got with her. I am in the process of making the transition to living a life in remembrance and I am taking my first vacation this weekend. I miss my humanity. I miss my personality and I miss being. I call it my mission to get back my humanity. I know she is proud. You will find your way, if you are still lost. Take it minute by minute, I still do. Get yourself a good support system, grief counselor, and grief support group. God bless.

My daughter is 37 yrs old and just lost her husband today. She found him while he was watching their 5 month old son. we dont know how long he was dead for but after not hearing from him in 5 hrs, she finally went home to find him dead. He was 43. We have no idea why he died and is having him autopsied. I imagine it was quick though because he was still sittingup in bed. They were only married for two yrs and j ust had their first baby this past March.

Hi I'm so glad I came across this group I lost my husband on the 1st June and feel so debated lost and alone his funeral is over now and because I act normal people seem to think that I'm strong and will get through this I can see no end to the way I'm feeling and not sure if I will ever get any answers I'm 35 and my husband was 37 went to work on a normal night and his lorry turned over I woke up to police on my door telling me the devastating news I'm so trying to get my life back on track for the children's sake but feel so lost

I am 27 and I lost my Jon April 21st 2012. We met on my 20th birthday. We were inseperable for 7.5 yrs and he was my soulmate. Jon was in a motorcycle accident on March 20th. He slid on gravel....lost control and hit a piece of wood in the road that kicked him off his bike. His bike that he hardly ever took out, it was always just stored at my parents. He went for a 15 min ride on an unusual hot day in March in Michigan. I watched my Jon be on life support for 4.5 weeks...good days and bad....the doctors had hope..I was there everyday and stayed every other night and told him I loved him everyday..I found my engagement ring in his car 2 days after the accident. He was suppose to propose 2 days after the accident. We worked so hard to get to the place of settling down and we wanted it so bad. We had just bought our first house in my parents subdivision. We had dreams of our future children going to grandpa and grandmas swimming. My parents loved him like a son. I understand your hurt.....and I am young and strong and I am trying to live life for Jon. I am currently in San Francisco for a 6 week stay of recovery with friends and hopefully find a bit a of peace where I can start to heal from this huge wound. I feel like I am floating around.....I am new to this and it is hard finding woman in there 20s going through this.

My husband was killed in a roadside bomb in Iraq five years ago this April. I was 29 and he was a 31 year old Army doctor who shouldn't have even been in that motorcade. We had been married for a year that January. I too am a doctor, a surgeon we met at during our pre-med ungraduate program at NYU 16 years ago. While he joined the army before I met him, he had never been called on. He did one tour and was done. He then chose to reup on his contract. I never supported his choice and he went to Iraq knowing that. And I watched him go knowing that I would probably never see him again. I was right. On April 27, 2007, two men from the Army including a Minister came to the hospital where I work and broke the news. At first I thought that they must have made a mistake. My husband wasn't a soldier, he was a doctor. But sure enoug they were right. I break bad news to patients families a lot, and it always aggrevated me when they acted confused and kept asking me the same question over and over again hoping for a new answer. But since that day, I have never felt that. For those of you who think that you can never be happy again and can't imagine yourself with anyone else, it will fade and your husbands wouldn't want you to take the veil and lock yourself in a tower feom other men and possible happiness. Mine certainly didn't, he told me so in a video he made for me and gave to the Army to give to me if something went wrong. I don't think I will ever understand his descion to go back and I'm not sure I want to, but I sure as hell don't regret a single second that I spent with him.

Hello everyone, I am also a young widow and just stumbled upon this group. I lost my husband July 18 2011. He would have been 30 Nov 14 and I just turned 28. Our 3rd wedding anniversary would have been Nov 9. My husband battled with addiction for the past 4 years with the last 1 1/2 years being complete hell. I am left with a beautiful 3 year old that looks just like him. I met him 8 years ago, he was everything I wanted at the time, funny, handsome, loving and we couldn't get enough of eachother. He was hurt in an accident about 5 years ago and that is when the addiction started. He began with painpills and ended his life with an accidental heroin overdose. I had seperated from him in Feb because of my daughter. I just couldn't let her live like that. I feel so guilty, sad, mad. Honestly almost every feeling you can feel comes over and over everyday. To lose your love is almost unbearable. I pray for everyone through the holidays. This is going to be tough but we will all make it.

This sounds eerily like my experience ... A wonderful man and gather until he became addicted to pain meds after a surgery. He never recovered.
I hope you are now doing well.

Thank you so much to find your group, I thought I am all alone, and it is a huge relief to know that there are others who could understand your pain. I am 29 years old, I lost my husband 27 days ago. A sudden death, a car accident on his way to the airport on a business trip, he left me with a precious 9-month old daughter. He was my bestfriend for years, before our friendship ended in a legendary love story. We celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary 2 weeks before his passing away, and it was simply beautiful, I like to think that it was his special way of saying goodbye. I am a muslim, so I believe in the afterlife, and that loving husband and wife do choose one another again in paradise, just if I keep on being patient, and accepting what God's choice for me. And actually, that is what is keeping me going. For whatever I do, I think like I should be letting him down, for when we meet again, he would have no blame. Yet, I do miss his legendary love, and tenderness.

Everyones story helps us go on. I am 23 years old and i also have lost my love, my bestfriend, my husband of 28 years old, just 5 days before our 2 years annv which would of been april,25th. he passed away just 3 weeks ago on april 19, 2011. he had sarcoma cancer and i still cant believe he is gone. i cry everyday , i just let out the tears and scream to the top of my lungs just to feel better. but god has been keeping me together. everytime i think of him and all we shared, i pray to dont break down. i feel your pain. we didnt have any children, but were planning a bright future, that just collapsed all at once, the day he was gone. i am torned apart, it is so difficult to wake up in the morning and going to bed at night without him by my side. my favorite was the long talks at night, just about anything before we went to bed. i miss him so much. i dont know how i am going to go on without him, i am just going day by day. with the pain in my heart. but as widow's we have to try to face the law's of life and be atleast appreciated we met such a wonderful soul as our husbands. god bless all of you's and that god may comfort your heart and lay peace upon you all. god bless

I am 26 year old and feb 5 of 2011 my wife died in our living room. the first month i think i was in shock because i handled it better thab the last month and the present days. i am very sad and cannot find the joy in most things. my life has been reduced to long *** walks with or without my wifes lil baby pug. whos not really a baby. and x box. along with daling with some demons of the past. this really isnt fun and i am surprised to see so many similar tories on here. bt it is nice too talk with someone about how to deal. please contact me as i am a rookie to this sort of thing

I am a 26 year old male and ya. i lost a wife feb. 5 2011 and it is the worst feeling to have lost my best friend. i am so lonely and depressed i cant manage to see joy in anythig anymore we were together for 5 years and mrried for almot a yr. march 17 would have been our anniversary. so my heart goes out to u all.

Hi all, really sorry to hear about your loss.<br />
I can understand what you are going through. I am 29 years old. I lost my husband in a road accident just 2 months back, a month before our 3rd anniversary. We dont have any children. I was deeply in love with him, and although we were so contrast naturewise..it was just the love that kept us going. I really have no words to describe what I feel for him. To cope with this, I have kept myself busy with all the activites that I really like. I have decided to live this life to fullest, because now i am not just living for myself but also for him. I had a miscarriage 8 months before his death, I had to undergo a major surgery where the doctors could not guarantee my survival owing to huge blood loss.......I go to know the gravity of situation just 30 mins before surgery, when the doctors asked for my parents...just incase things turned worse..in those 30 minutes all my prayers were for him..I just wished that incase i didnt return alive from the OT then he should never have to grieve my loss and lead a happy fufilling life. God's grace surgery was successful and I survived just to lose him in next 8 months. And now I try to imagine what he would have wanted for me? and the answer is that he would have never wanted me to be sad or unhappy or grieve his loss.. because he loved me so much. So thats what I do...just enjoying life....trying to collect lots of memories which I will share with him when I finally meet him on the other side. Its his love that has given me great courage and strength to cope with his loss. So girl just try to respect his feelings for you..he would have never wanted to see you cry..I know thats its easier said than done..but just imagine a reverse situation and what would you have wanted for him..and try to live that way :)<br />
You are welcome to mail/message me at kavita_kaler@yahoo.com

I have and will always be going through this very same experience. Please know that I will be here any time you would like to talk. I was 26 years old when I lost my husband 15 months ago. I have learned that grief is so profound, as to only belong to the one that is grieving. There are others who know the deep pain, yearning and emptiness you have inside, I am one of those people. Please message me at any time you'd like. <br />
<br />
My prayers and thoughts are being sent your way.

Thank you to all for sharing your story. I am newly on this horrible path, my husband and solemate died this Nov. Only 7 weeks after we were married and a month before my birthday. we had hopes, plans and dream for the future, as all newlyweds do. He died in a freak fall and had no idea that he had a brain bleed, and died 3 hours later. I was at work the entire time, (I work at a hospital ER) and had no idea he had fallen or left the hospital. I love him everyday and know that he is with me now and i hope will forever be. Sometime i feel like it hasn't hit me yet, but ive cried, screamed gotten mad, etc... but I am already finding peace with his passing and feel like i love him more now than before he died. i feel guilty that i have found peace so soon and worry that i am not getting the finality of this. I feel like i should be still on my floor sobbing but i am not. I LOVE him and feel him with me every day and feel blessed for all of the lessions and love he gave me and want to take his strength with me as i move forward. is this bad? am i in shock? is there anyone out there that feels like this or understands???<br />
PLEASE let me know, any thoughts would help. thank you<br />
-Devonanneb@aol.com

Everyones story is so touching. I am sorry for everyones losses, but I think it helps to talk about it. I am twenty-one now and my husband of twenty-seven died about six months ago. We were married in January and he was in remission then for aml. We have had known each other for over half of each others life. By the end of march we were living in the hospital because his aml relapsed and we stayed there for three months. Until we brought him to our home and his time came. He was my life and yeah, it's not easy. I have no advice, but if you know some please let me know. I feel like a lost soul trying to find my way through life now. I know its not meant for me to understand but it really hurts like a heart break, I never imagined I would experience. Thanks for listening and my email is sarah_eikermann@yahoo.com

Hi everyone, I just joined this group as I was searching the internet for help and came across this. 15 days ago my fiancee passed away suddenly. We were to get married 2 days after he passed away. Although we didnt get to the wedding I still consider myself his wife and he is my husband. We have a home together and I have a son from a previous marriage that he treated as his own. I am 29 and he was 33. I too feel the same things - WHY??????? I dont like my new life, I am trying to figure out what my new normal is. I am lonely, sad, and feel lost. He was my soulmate and my bestfriend. It is comforting to know that there are more ppl that are dealing with this because I feel so alone. Like why me? Why us? We had our whole life planned. Please feel free to contact me if any of you need to chat. I will be thinking of each of you

Hello,<br />
<br />
I am so sorry to hear your story, it's amazing to know that there are others out there who share the same type of grief and sorrow. I lost my husband a month ago almost to the day we were to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary. He was vivacious, full of live, love and spirituality, he touched many lives and loved me like no other, he was the love of my life. We were expecting our first child in December of this year and he was beyond happy since this was what he wanted more than anything else. He died suddenly of a heart attack, no sign of illness, chest pain etc. The doctors say that he had a genetic disorder which likely caused it so we had no idea since he jogged every morning and was not overweight. I too am trying figure out what my new normal is and have mentally put all my focus on our unborn daughter since she is all I have left of him. The heartache goes beyond words and I know that I am re-learning how live in my new life without him. If you need an ear to listen please feel free to contact me.

I'm 30 years old and I was with my fiance for 13 years. July 18th, he starts prepping for an intense workout out at the park. He worked out for 4 hours, he gets in a car and passes away. What was the purpose? I'm left here alone, no more plans, no more funny conversations, funny arguments, mindless banter, no more taking small moments for granted (now they are so precious). Missing him and us so much. My only condolensce is that he loved GOD very much and I know that he's happy up in Heaven. It is I who is left behind mourning. It is I who has to stay strong, so that we can meet again one fateful day.

My situation is so very similar. I'm 27, got married in May 2009, and my husband died just 2.5 months after our wedding. Tomorrow will be one year, and I still ask why. I still wonder about the what ifs. He was just 29 years old and died due to a motorcycle accident. It's incredible to see so many similar stories out there. I've maintained a blog over the past year, which some people say is inspiring -- http://jessicaliving.blogspot.com. Please also feel free to email me: jarronnandjessica@gmail.com.

hey i was just searching the internet and came across this group. figured i would give it a shot. I am 19 years old soon to be 20 and lost my husband in may 2009 he died may 16 and our 1 yr anniversery was may 24 he was getting ready to deploy but got in an accident on his way to his grandmothers. it is so hard we didnt have any children we had just started trying but no luck. I hate seeing the sun come up every morning because he is not laying beside me when i wake up. i hate it and ask why this happened to us. if anyone would like to talk it would be greatly appreciated. my email is crazygirlshaw14@aol.com

I lost my husband this past Dec. you are welcome to email me amylyons58@yahoo.com maybe we can help eachother...... I do not get it either