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I Am A High-functioning Sociopath. Ask Me Anything.

There seems to be a lot of misinformation about the condition. Most psychiatric studies are done on low-functioning individuals, especially the prison population. You can see how this would give a very skewed picture of the community. So ask away. 

InvoluntaryFacelift InvoluntaryFacelift 18-21 87 Responses Oct 27, 2009

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My boss seems to have sociopathic and misogynistic tendencies; he seems to prey on vulnerable women who I would describe as pathetic. He appears to love the control, power and loyalty they have for him. He does everything described on every website I've read except for one thing. He seems to be infatuated with me, yet he treats me horribly 99% of the time. I am married and unavailable. I would describe his relationship with me as love/hate. Ninety nine percent hate and 1 percent love/intense sexual attraction. If sociopaths don't have feelings, how can he feel this and maintain this feeling for so long? He too is married and has had multiple affairs publicly. I would describe myself as an independent thinker, empathetic, and strong. I've called him out on a few things over the years, and he can't take it.I get "punished" when I address him. I mostly avoid him, but I get fed up with his dramatic garbage every so often. I am of the belief that bullies can't be dealt with diplomatically; sometimes you just have to punch them in the nose, so every once in a while I do just that. What's up with the bazaar attraction when he has plenty of women to choose from? Why me?

Add a response... I have a friend who im sure is a sociopath. He has been in trouble with the law since a child, is easily agitated, full of broken promises, very contradictory and secretive, and wont introduce me to other friends. He also was in a gang and has a gun and knife obsession. When he is sober he can be mean and he stonewalls and never takes blame for anything. However when he is high on coke he has told me how much i mean to him and he hates the way he treats me when he is sober and the wall goes up. My question is if you think he is being sincere or manipulative and lying when he is high? I just cant tell because he genuinely seems real then. But maybe i just want to believe he might care just a little. Your thoughts?


Do you think it would be possible for a psychopath to trick him/her self into thinking he/she felt empathy while the feeling was really just a personal code of conduct coupled with some kind of psychological trauma causing this person to need to believe they were normal. Also for the sake of argument, lets say that this code of conduct doubled as a list of behaviors that when done by a second person, makes the first person 'feel' justified in attacking, or even killing them if not for the unavoidable consequences.

what's the difference between a high-functioning sociopath and a low-functioning sociopath? My friend is apparently a semi-functional sociopath...What does that mean exactly?

My ex husband is a narcissistic sociopath. No guilt, inappropriate emotions, or none. Very intelligent, intellectual, an overall *****. His code is basically... I don't do it because I was taught it was wrong or illegal. He's extremely manipulative and when you see the man under the mask...he's f***ing scary. I was with him almost 20 years and have 3 kids together. I was raised by a narcissistic mother(you seen mommy dearest u know my mom) and a bipolar older sister. So manipulation, liars and craziness was a daily thing for me. I saw what my ex was early on and knew he was a liar and manipulator... I saw through him. So I received a huge amount of respect. I stayed because we had children and I was dependent on him...but every where I moved I kept up on the murders because I knew one day I would have to turn him never came...but divorce did.

I was worried about my exes genes in my kids... my second child started showing signs... I took her to many specialists... my child has a genius IQ, 10. All my child's education is high school to college level (she is NOT home schooled)...but the social skills and emotions aren't there and cause HUGE confusion. The therapist s and doctors tell me my child has asperges. I feel they don't want to label my child as a sociopath at 10. What should I watch for with her? She has a "code" as well... she is of a mind there is "right" and there's "wrong" nothing is gray. I tell her to go into the medical field because of her brilliant literal mind and her fascination with surgery shows. Just so you know she goes to a public school for geniuses in the US. I am trying to keep the socialization of her own age group. What can I do for my child to keep them on the straight and narrow...without turning them into a condescending, self righteous *** like the father? How can I teach confidence but modesty at the same time? I am also a well educated, highly intelligent woman with a borderline genius IQ... depending on the charts you use... Main difference is I have emotional connections and love.

Ive just got into a relationship with someone i wasnt feeling him in any way at first but he was so persistent and consistent that I fell for him he wrote me a 4 page letter confessing his love for me and how hes never felt this way about any girl. I've noticed he was different from guys I've dated in the past. He listens to Jazz, slow R&b music. He's very intellectual. I also noticed a very protective side to him. =He would be veryb threatning when guys checking me out or having any contact with me, saying things like "ill shoot him and go back home make myself a sandwich and nobody will ever accuse me because Im nice and charming" Id ask him about his past it always had something to do with how bad he was. He gets very annoyed with people easily, road rage like crazy. He cmetioned he doesnt mind being alone. Later on in the relationship he confessed he as diagnosed with socio path tendencies which explains why hes always so angry at the world. He doesnt drink or smoke hes quiet very observant.HeSs always so serious and Im goofy n always laughing. He always says im the only person that can make him smile and laugh. Idk is he?

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This entire.....sociopath....thing has caught my attention, like, today. I don't know if I can accurately articulate what I mean to say, but I might as well give it a shot. I often feel that I am inherently smarter than everyone else and even though i reject authority and never try to physically, or realistically, gain authority over people, I feel like they don't deserve to...rule...over other people, regardless if the are a politician (who, as they all do, legitimately rules over people without their consent and threatens to have men with guns come to their house and lock them in cages if they don't want to be ruled and in the worst case scenario, will have those same men shoot them if they resist) or a teacher (specifically the ones who proselytize a group of students who would blindly follow anything you told them). Fairly recently, I have begun to think like an existential nihilist. I feel that so many things are meaningless and question even the existence of life. I am extremely cynical and don't trust anyone more than myself. For example, if someone is my age (I am in high school), I am driving the car. Not them. I don't trust them at all. And the vast majority of people who I can even consider friends (even though he almost never hang out outside of school) I think lowly of and don't respect. I am extremely good as picking out propaganda (and there is a lot of it in the public school system, trust me) but I can almost never react to it because doing it would make me look crazy. I am very intelligent and I spend my life researching things and becoming an expert in many very different fields. I also think I have OCD and the symptoms shocked me completely. So eerily similar to the weird things I do (although I have never been diagnosed). I am very left-brained and don't have much of a creative side compared to others, but I can definitely be creative at times. I like information science than art, for instance. And, through my research (usually on the internet), when I buy something, I want to feel that I am buying the absolute best thing for the money. This is usually how i become an expert in certain fields.
What makes me believe that I may not be a sociopath (not to imply that I thought that I was, just figured I would reply to this cause....why not?) was that I can love people. I especially witness this with my family. I truly do love my parents and siblings. And, I am afraid to take risks because I fear what type of negative result certain actions might bring. I am also a very responsible person and can never, ever imagine myself not paying rent or anything of that nature. I also don't have images of killing people (or anything for that matter, and I have absolutely no desire to whatsoever), although I frequently have images of having really hardcore sex with pretty women. And I do care about the well-being of others, but I am an individualist. I don't believe in giving freebies to people, so to say, but I will help people that I believe deserve my help. I also have a very good idea of what my future holds as I am someone who likes to be very prepared for things. I also feel guilty about the things I do that hurt people that I don't think deserve to be hurt. If they are a bad person in my opinion, I don't care. I avoid them, but if something were to happen to them, I wouldn't care.
Anyway, I am just curious to see the responses I may or may not get. Give me any information you can.

I wouldn't think you're a sociopath.
You claim to feel love, guilt have responsibility etc these all make up the so-called "moral compass" sociopaths lack.
And the whole hardcore sex is just a fetish.

good to hear. and what differentiates a sociopath from a psychopath?

A psychopath is often more violent, criminal etc. A psychopath are often born that way while sociopaths can be made by environment. Psychopaths are the little kids microwaving their hamsters alive and adults that go on killing sprees.
They both share some characteristics.

Hmm....okay. Thanks.

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I am a self diagnosed sociopath, on the high functioning level of the spectrum. I give off an aura of being articulate, intelligent and outgoing (towards most), but what's inside of me much differs. I can easily say I dislike about 95% of the general population, and most of my friends are people who I find intellectually stimulating. I grow quickly tierd of mundane individuals, those who seem unevolving.
I use to believe in Islam, but I don't believe I would have believed in it if I hadn't had the misfortune of being brought up with the religion. After I got over the fear factors in it, I quit believing in it and eventually all of god, ghosts, wizardly shamans combined.
I feel lust, but not love. I have never had a person in my entire life that I could say I love unconditionally.
My closest friend happens to be something similar to a sociopath, infact her father was a diagnosed one.
Compared to the general population I am highly intelligent, I am a polyglot and never had I been disgusted with anything like dissection (I am planning to be a surgeon).
Does this concoction add up?

I am 20. I have always been more intelligent than my peers. I slacked my way through high school in ap and college classes, I never had to try and still got better grades than the "smart kids". I've never felt emotions for very long. Or very deeply. I used to contemplate the death of my mother, and realized I would not cry. When I was punished as a kid it drove me, not to be good, but to not get caught. Killing evokes no emotional response from me. I stabbed a baby wild boar through the heart while Hunting and found the act surprisingly empty. I once manipulated 3 girls at a time into 3 separate relationships at the same time. I don't know what I am, but I have made a positive change. The benefit of being empty is that you can fill yourself with whatever you want. So I've made those things positive and moved on. I know this post is old, but maybe a fellow hollow man will come by and read this. Maybe he will make positive changes to.

I know for a fact that I'm not a sociopath, however I'm curious as to why I act in certain ways that merit concern. The other day I strangled my cat to see what it would feel like, let me just say its a lot harder than movies make it out to be. and loud. The problem there is that I legitimately love that cat. I had to stop because of the damn noise. I enjoy hurting people I love to make myself feel alive. I want to hurt as many people as possible I go out of my way to crush people's worlds, I'm salivating, lol. I do it because it makes me feel alive, so little things have this affect on me. I will befriend a person to systematically ruin their lives. I don't know much about psychology, as I'm but a humble chemical engineer, but would someone elucidate my status? I suppose I should also mention I have pretty bad misophonia, for those who don't believe in it well... lets just say you wouldn't be safe eating around me. I know its only a matter of time before something bad happens to me because of this but I can't seem to stop. Should I seek consultation or are these normal tendencies? I can't describe the feeling I get from looking in the mirror and knowing that I'm what makes this planet sick it's... powerful. But this is why I know I'm neither a psychopath nor a sociopath, I care deeply about people, hurting them wouldn't be fun any other way. The closer the better, the shocked look of betrayal, I've never seen anything more meaningful.

My fiance I believe may be a sociopath. He has no remorse for any of the bad things he does. He constantly pokes fun at me and our 3 boys. We have been together for 12 years. We have been evicted from every apartment we ever rented because he chooses not to pay the rent but go out and buy clothes for himself, buys expensive cars, and he has recently admitted to cheating on me numerous times.I do love him and end up having to pay the bills for his car and insurance even though he makes more money than me. We are in financial ruin 99% of the time And hardly make it buy. Yet he is able to go out and buy things for himself.He thinks that he is above the law and that society's rules do not apply to him. He also believes he is destined to be this almighty powerful leader that everyone will look up to him. Is he a sociopath or just a psycho path?.

Hi. i 2 am self-diagnosed with sociopath . I too have ur similar triats . i knw 4 languages and i too am studying in med school . I learnt computer hacking , web designing and yea similar dangerous stuffs like learning to kill... And yea pretty good at manipulating people .....Also tried learning kick Boxing...I might not feel much love and affection . But i do feel stress caused by this medical studies...So i just have a small doubt...Am i a Sociopath or not bro...??And yea i too have my own CODE...and yea i think we wont be turned dangerous until very very neccessary...yet i think we turn out to become so powerful...Whenever i fail to study well fr exasm i dont feel guilt ... Rather i can only feel pressure and not feel for failing...

Omg, please, you are not a sociopath, computer hacking is easy, you just have to think logically, everyone one knows how to kill, its sort of common knowledge. and only goody too shoes fell guilt after failing. NO felling guilt to a sociopath is not with thinks like tests its to do with emotions, like killing someone and felling no guilt or saying something horrible to someone and thinking nothing of it. Every sociopaths and psychopaths don't have a choice to be bad or not, but a high functioning sociopath, that's a different story. I'm have no evidence here cause there has never been a any real studies on high functioning sociopaths/psychopaths but i seems to me that they have a choice to be good or evil (omg sorry that sounds really cheesey). A sociopath also can't feel love, they get over things easyily, for example I think I could kill everyone of my family if i had too and would feel anything of it...... I know its scary but believe I know your not a sociopath, be happy about it, I don't know what i could do i just have to try and contain it, don't ever wish to be a socipath

Knowing how to kill someone is not common knowledge. The urge is natural, yet the skill is a delicate art.

You know four languages and you're studying med school, but you can't spell, type, and your question is stated "am I a sociopath or not bro?!?......." No you are not a sociopath, just a bad lier and completely illiterate.

<p>Im writing a paper about Agentism (beliving the world is run by outside agents, usualy invisable, ghosts, aliens, god, demons, etc.) and patternism (seeing patterns where there arent any). Both of these things serve very important survival functions, our ancestors saw threats where there wasnt any and survived. Agentism, attributing reason or motivation to things outside yourself is how ones able to empathize, to place yourself in someone elses shoes and imagine what they feel or think. So my question is: As a sociopath (someone who lacks empathy) are you able to form legitimate beleifs in god,aliens,big foot, unicorns, icelandic elves or invisible spaghetti mosters? If anyone knows a legitamate scientific paper concerning this topic please provide a source. Thanks.</P>

Hi, I'm not sure if I'm a sociopath.I'm in high school and i'm excellent student.I love psychology and detective stuff. I don't care abouth anyones emotios and I hate when people show them in public and they aslo always over react.I don't care abouth anything acctually.I lie alot , don't know why but I like it .I'm not violent in reallity but in my head yes.So what do you think?

it sounds like you have a few of the tendencies , but i don't know if you could be a sociopath or just a pathological liar with common sence (people should never show their emotions in public)

hahaha. for some reason your response made me laugh.

Okay, just discovered this site and it seems interesting.

My parents have been on my case for the last couple of years suspecting I have some sort of emotional detachment due to some unemotional reactions to the death people considered close to me.

So I finally did and after 10 sessions, the brilliant therapist discovered I have a narcissistic personality. Fact is I've been lying to him for the past 2 months, creating scenario after scenario to prove I'm a narcissist.

For some reason throwing people off the tail seems like a natural thing to do. I'm a self diagnosed sociopath and I'd rather have people believing I'm a jerk than a potentially dangerous individual. As I grew up as an only child in a very close affectionate family, I got more and more detached as I got older, until I became unfamiliar with any form of compassion/ affection. I have above average intelligence ( 147 IQ ), currently in med school and i speak 5 languages fluently ( which is a fact I prefer to hide, admitting to 2 ). I'm also a pathological liar and a huge fan of psychology, which has been allowing me to read people better and in some cases attempt to control their behavior through suggestion and manipulation.

I also have a small penchant for violence ( okay it's huge ) and having 2 black belts and being a semi professional Thai boxer, I can be a bit dangerous when someone is standing in my way.

Oh another thing. After some research I discovered that sociopaths can in fact have certain affections towards people but my parents aside, i could not care less about anyone. I've been studying the art of seduction for a long time and coupled with my knowledge in psychology, let's say I've had my ( and plenty of people's ) fair share of one night stands, generally creating a different character every time . I've never been involved in a relationship nor do I want it.

Hopefully all this info can give you an insight into how a sociopath functions and I have a question for anyone with experience in the matter. So far I have been following a strict code of ethics in order for my indifference towards others doesn't harm anyone close to me, but I'm worried about something: is a sociopath with above average intelligence, resources, physical abilities and an ambition more likely to turn dangerous and harmful than a normal person ?

Answers are much appreciated

Hi. i 2 am self-diagnosed with sociopath . I too have ur similar triats . i knw 4 languages and i too am studying in med school . I learnt computer hacking , web designing and yea similar dangerous stuffs like learning to kill... And yea pretty good at manipulating people .....Also tried learning kick Boxing...
I might not feel much love and affection . But i do feel stress caused by this medical studies...So i just have a small doubt...

Am i a Sociopath or not bro...??

And yea i too have my own CODE...and yea i think we wont be turned dangerous until very very neccessary...yet i think we turn out to become so powerful...

Ok, It look like you have a lot of the tendencies I have, now what you have to figure out is if your a sociopath or a psychopath. You also seem not to have a difficult childhood which would indicate psychopath, who are born like that.

Is she a sociopath??

I met this woman online in February 2013 and during the first month I didn’t ****** her up and ask her to be in a relationship with me like I should have. She appeared to have liked me more than I did her during that time but she didn’t pursue me either. We spent some weekends together but never actually became an exclusive couple. We eventually went our separate ways and dated others. In May 2013 I came back into her life and we started going out. Unfortunately she had been seeing a guy for two months but she said she loved me, had always loved me and would break it up with this guy. Eventually, she asked for her house key back from him and told him she wanted to see other people. However she did not tell him specially that the reason for the breakup was me. She had always said that she had never left one man for another man and she didn’t want to start now. However, she never actually stopped seeing this other guy and she continued to see me as well.

Over the next 3 months, she and I traveled extensively taking trips out of state, hotels, bed and breakfasts, DC on the 4th of July, Atlantic City...etc. and having the best times. She was honest with me about still seeing him and she would tell me when she would see him…which I hated but I accepted. She was with me much more than she was with him but it still bothered me that she wouldn’t commit to me. She always lied to him when she was with me…..and as hurtful as it is to admit…she would always post our trips on her Facebook page but I was never tagged or even shown in photos. Her photos consisted of things such as the hotel we were at, sunsets on the beach, the restaurants we went to…several shows…but never once was I shown on FB with her. I have many photos of us together on these vacations but out of respect I didn’t post them on my FB page either. I let her control the situation. I know I’m such a fool but she said she was just trying to spare his feelings. I accepted it because I was hoping that I would eventually be with her forever. She said she was very confused and often questioned why I didn’t grab her back in February when I had the chance. She was scared that maybe if she left this guy and then I decided I didn’t want to be with her anymore she would have lost both of us. I wish I could go back in time and grab her for myself but obviously I can’t. However since coming back into her life in May I treated this girl like a princess. . Trust me on this and she knows it too. I began loving this woman everyday more and more. She told me every day she said she loved me as well. She said she loved this other guy too but her love for me was different – with me she had such passion. She was IN love with me versus just loving the other guy. She said if the other guy left or dated someone else it wouldn’t be a huge deal…but if I were to leave or date someone else it would destroy her. She made me feel so special…and she was so much fun…and I found her beautiful. I noticed though that although she always said I Love You...there were noa actions that accompanied it.

Anyway, this love triangle went on for months…it took its toll on me…I lost close to 40 lbs. in less than 3 months from the stress.

So…about 3 weeks ago I take her out to eat…we have drinks…we’re having a great time. We go back to her place and it’s around 1AM…still having a great time. We’re having some wine, eating some food…barely dressed…it’s literally the best time of my life to be honest…and then there’s a bang on the door and it’s him. He yelled inside that he knew I was there because my car was out front. I knew she wouldn’t just allow him to stand outside and bang on the door so I opened the door…and to make a long story short…she asked me to leave and he stayed…and I never saw her again. I’m disgusted. I’m completely heartsick. I am so heartbroken. I know she used me…but I’m devastated. I loved this girl so much. I’m like a walking zombie. My life feels like it has no meaning now. She actually blamed me for opening the door that evening and said she couldn’t forgive me for doing that. After all of this though…I still want her. I need to get over her and also resist the urge to call her. I don’t know who’s sicker…her or me??? Can someone please tell me when this pain will subside? I used to be this healthy person but now I’m on sleep medication, anxiety medication and something else prescribed to calm my nerves. I’m a freaking mess. My heart is in a million pieces.
He has changed his FB photo to show them as a couple but she has unfriended on FB me because she said it’s to protect my feelings so I don’t have to look at them. She still calls me or texts sometimes just to say hi and string me along I suppose. And of course, she says she still loves me.

Couple of facts:

Based on her upbringing she has detachment issues. Instead of dealing with issues head on, she has always dealt with negativity by putting on a happy face and going out with friends. (She has admitted this to me multiple times) Basically she doesn’t really feel the emotional pain that most people feel. When I told her how devastated I was and told her that she had “No idea” of the pain that she has caused me…and she wished she knew how I felt.

When she went out with him while dating me she would tag him in Facebook and show them together which made me feel awful to know she would do that with him but not me. She claimed it was because people assumed they were still dating. He played it cool and allowed her space…I didn’t. I bugged her constantly about leaving him and when she and I could be together. I probably chased her away with my nagging.

She’s a very successful executive in a large company and loves the thought of being in control. She is a pathological liar…charming…all her friends (drinking partners) LOVE her…she’s deceptive…high sex drive…everything that’s been mentioned of what a sociopath is. She has absolutely no remorse, no guilt conscience or anything that a normal human being would / should have. She has never apologized for anything including kicking me out that evening. She just said she didn't want a confrontation.

I really think she's a sociopath...but although I have so many questions that she never seems to answer...two questions stand out more than any.
1) I think I was the transitional victim…the one that she just wanted to play with and hurt and destroy emotionally versus taking everything from me. You think she didn't include me on Facebook because she knew she was just going to dump me and be with this other guy so she was looking to destroy me for fun?? I think she’s going to totall destroy the guy she’s with now. I'm talking marriage, house kids...etc. Also with blocking me from Facebook and other social media, it’s like she protecting me from being hurt anymore. That's not the traits of a sociopath. Any thoughts??

2) I saw here once since...and I read her what I wrote above...and gave her a hard copy. She grabbed it and wouldn't give it back. Just yesterday when she called me she tells me she saved it in her wallet and takes it everywhere she goes. Why would she do that? This is a humiliating experience for me.... she says it make her feel closer to me. It seems that she's holding onto it like a trophy. Heck I've written her love letters that she doesn't carry with her. Is she impressed with her "work"??

You are not worthy.

My sociopathic father of my child has made me end up in the hospital and jail he is very very intelligent and savy and has a lot of allies he seems to be rid of me now I told him I know his games.. He understands I know he's lying, projecting, manipulation, gas lighting ect.. I feel more drawn to him when he gives me the silent treatment and says get the **** away from me.. How do I get him to trust me.. I bust my *** of to sexually please him and do absolutely everything else possible.. I stopped asking anything from him.. By I still insult him.. It's really hard I get punished all the time and he loves it.. How do I get him to trust me he says I'm his enemy and he believes in going to Try to throw him in jail.. And he wants me and my son gone. I want him to want me again so I don't have this head ache and I need him to trust me what does he want?

A real sociopath doesn't care about stupid girl emotional relationship crap. At all.

Yes, he said that on countless occasions. "I don't give a ****"
He also does not respond to our son crying or his needs at all.. It does not affect in the slightest. Its actually a problem for him because it wakes him up. So on behalf of my son I have to apologize that he's in the room in his "oh so mighty presence"

Well for one how do you know if he is a sociopath? He may well be a psychopath or an ambitious jerk.

i do understand your predicament. If I had a sociopath for a wife, well that would be a lot of fun since I am one myself.

Now I'll put himself in his position and try to explain to you how he feels.

He definitely loves you, or at least has some sort of feelings towards you, but sociopaths rarely ever act upon emotion. We act upon rational reasoning. If he believes your relationship is weighing him down, he will end it.

Now that's what I would do, but I do not have any kids and do not really know how their presence would affect me but in case my wife was weighing me down, even just distracting me from a certain goal, the divorce papers would be waiting

Ok, what you have go to understand is that we (me and all the sociopaths) never trust people, it is impossible. Also most sociopaths care nothing for peoples well being, I only do because I'm high functioning and have many other disorders, and maybe because I'm girl???? We like game and love to prove our intelligence. Also we don't feel guilt, we may feel it for a second or so but after that it's gone. But you also have to remember that he is a guy, and they would love to have a sex slave and by doing what your doing your giving him exactly that. Ok so my advice is to get the hell out of there, we are properly incapable of a prober relationship since we can trust or be honest, I don't know about myself but I hope I can someday learn to love, I know you may love but the most he feels about you is...... I don't know. I'm so sorry but, give up on him, don't go to the police just give up and move away.

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It's a bit unfair to suggest that sociopaths are distinct manipulators. EVERYONE manipulates, only most lie to themselves about being manipulative. They rationalize to themselves and others. Their "superego" as Freud put it, shields them from reality, the reality they dare not admit to themselves. The sociopath is the honest person who is fully aware of what he wants and merely offers the subtle influence here and there to help this come to fruition. It's not, in my opinion, that sociopaths lack the ability to possess empathy, but rather that so many people fail to earn it, or to make themselves worthy of it. And yes, you guessed correctly. I am a high functioning sociopath.

I believe that it's not possible, even for empaths like myself, to feel an emotional connection with every single person they meet. As an empathetic person, I find it difficult to turn people down who are more interested in me than I am in them. If I can't connect mentally and emotionally with someone I can't seem to connect with them sexually. Just wondering; do sociopaths experience a similar difficulty?

No, not at all. I would say sex has nothing to do with emotional connection and is more of a physical need than anything else.

i also have no problem turning people down. I don't really care about how other people feel but I also don't go out of my way to cause them suffering. I'm kind of neutral in the matter.

But sociopath do have the ability to connect with people and truly care about them but, imo, this takes time because we rely on rational reasoning when thinking about someone and rarely ever get affected by emotions

bump, I am interested in talking to you as you seem somewhat intelligent and you may be interested in me as I am also a high functioning sociopath. I am especially interested in what you said in an earlier post about limited self-centered emotions.

uhm it's not a job application ahah

you can feel and have emotions right? and there are some people (a select group) who you would never screw over because you feel obligated and loyalty to them for some reason? most people you couldn't care less about? despite being able to feel emotion and pick up on it easily, most of the time you can discount it using logic and not allow it to cloud your judgement. you are also probably very intelligent and have a patternistic view of seeing the world? just asking because it seems like wherever i look there's no real info on sociopaths other than your typical axe murdering psychopath and i wanted to know if these are tendencies you would say you have

Everything is a value evaluation (not to be redundant). The trick is to never surrender a larger value to gain a lesser one. That would be, to some degree, self destruction...self immolation at the minimum. It\'s a myth that when two people have interchange, and one profits, the other must lose. So \"sacrifice\" is very, very seldom necessary. Ergo sacrifice is not a virtue in normal discourse. It would behoove you to remember that. What is virtue is to strive for profit, and the other person should too. When both parties profit from an exchange, any exchange, even personal relationships, then it was a worthwhile trade. \"Altruism\" is a ghastly false idea, one where one is a saint if one loses on purpose. It\'s disgusting.

[[you can feel and have emotions right?]]
Emotions are fine, but it\'s not fine to be ruled by them. Sentimentality makes people stupid.

[[just asking because it seems like wherever i look there\'s no real info on sociopaths other than your typical axe murdering psychopath and i wanted to know if these are tendencies you would say you have]]
In modern psychiatry, psychopathy is an antiquated term, like neuroses. Today, \"psychopath\" is considered a subset of the broad range of sociopathy, which I personally disagree with. I think that high functioning sociopaths are calculatedly self-interested, and see to it that their short term and long term goals don\'t conflict. That\'s rational. I fail to see how being an axe wielding murderer fits into any cogent long term plan for success. If some evil man tortured a little girl to death, you might entertain the idea of killing this fellow in some unpleasant manner, but you would put such thoughts away. A sociopath might just act on that idea, but it would be the moral outrage about the innocent girl that motivated his actions to begin with. A psychopath wouldn\'t care about either the girl nor the man, neither of which he knew personally. See? Two totally different things IMO.

[ I think that high functioning sociopaths are calculatedly self-interested, and see to it that their short term and long term goals don't conflict]

If you believe this then why would you think the sociopath would act on thoughts of killing the man, their own logic would tell them no to go out of their way to kill the man who hurt the little girl. if the sociopath acts purely for self-interest and long term goals then they would see the little girl getting hurt as "NOT their problem" and would feel indifferent. The sociopath would logically only eliminate the man if he was in someway, in the way of the sociopath reaching their goals (self-interests). Therefore, your statement [ If some evil man tortured a little girl to death,..... A sociopath might just act on that idea, but it would be the moral outrage about the innocent girl that motivated his actions to begin with]
contradicts the first statement.

Well yes. I could really not care less about anyone except people I know for fact deeply care about me.

I think most of us follow a certain ethics code and attempt not to hurt people but at times it can go out of hand.

Now I know that emotions deeply affect people therefore try to protect them, but since I am emotionally detached, it's like clutching at straws.

Now as for intelligence, sociopath range anywhere from agonizingly dumb ( talking Patrick Star dumb ) to exceptionally brilliant. Now for example high functioning sociopaths are not only extremely intelligent ( talk 130 + IQ ) they are also very rational and make decisions based on their reasoning and not emotions.

That's what makes dumb sociopaths so dangerous. They rely on a rationality they do not possess

okay that last comment got me xD ahaha i'm sorry :')
I’m trying to relate your first line to my life
Because i have this separating line between caring and love. I care about people ( intensely) but i don't love them. Example Family, close friends, 'best friends', strangers i treat all of them with open arms but if we were separate i'm not even slightly sad. I have and can walk away from people without feeling sad at all? I just find it awkward when they try and say how they'll miss me? ( but like love i can only understand it as like relationship stuff i e : boyfriend girlfriend which I am actually incredibly sensitive in that area like more so then usual for people. At one point i was trying to numb that part to get rid of it cause i kinda of saw it as useless, weak but instead of going away - while trying to numb it. It made me intentionally get into peoples heads ( using psychology :L) and tricking them into loving me so i could hurt them without remorse - like it was a game in which i always won and then i saw the destruction once i was back to normal? ie : happier... and as for caring about people who you know for a fact care about you?
I think i kinda get that - cause i have this aunty and uncle who love me more LIKE REALLY LOVE ME and i kinda just don't know how to deal with it cause it's unnecessary but they really do love me and it is a little bit of a chore after 20 awkward kisses and hugs in 4 minutes that you're kinda of wondering why they didn't stop at number 1 or 2… But there was once my uncle got through to me and i started crying... It was really different aye. i remember he was worried about me ( which i found odd cause i was fine but like peeps were supposed to pick me up from school and i walked around classrooms cause my nana was taking ages and she got there and couldn't find me and so 2 hours later half my family was out on the street looking for me when my nana finally found me) Everyone seemed just glad i was home and my uncle started hugging me as if i'd almost died or something and he kept saying "i love you" over and over and over and over again and i was standing there thinking dude... i'm actually fine... like can you...why the heck is he so worried? weirdd... and then after about 6 minutes of this almost like something dropped from me? i dunno it's like i'd never heard anyone say that before? even though .. i was always told it and i started crying and i went to hug him back

" i love you too" and i actually meant it not as a relationship but as a, i can tell the difference between family and a stranger

it happened once it was different

and I also don’t understand why I separate emotions as I do I haven’t had a traumatic childhood, my parents were seriously good to me and my family was too…? so i don't get it really.. - would you have any words for me? ( btw not actually saying i'm a sociopath lmbo although i did see some narcissistic points in my personality that sort of struck me)

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Is he a sociopath?
He is constantly bored and has to be in front of the TV or he gets anxious
He Manipulates to get what he wants and keeps his life compartmentalized.
He lies about the stupidest things and even when he gets caught he won't admit he lied.
One time he asked three people for money to pay the same bill and accepted money from all three. LOL - its funny now that I think about it but none the less disturbing.
He doesn't have friends, other than a couple that tolerate him from his youth
He was in a gang when he was younger and did some bad stuff - went to jail.
He's smart in some ways, but lacks common sense and doesn't get sarcasm.
He is sweet and always makes me feel like im the best woman in the world - to an extreme (3 years already and no change in that aspect)...
He is not what you would consider openly charming to others.
He is not abusive physically or emotionally
He is distant, to the point I feel like I'm alone when we are in the same room.
He is "shy", keeps to himself until he feels comfortable
He can't read fiction because he can't imagine the characters or scene in his head.
He is not a good communicator and is afraid to say the wrong thing in social settings
He did drugs for a couple years in his youth
He has a high tolerance for pain and doesnt know his own strength so he's careful not to rough house.
He thinks people deserve it when bad things happen to them (i.e. the lady got her stuff stolen because she left her trunk unlocked - it's her own fault) but if it happens to him the world is going to pay.
I asked him if he realized that he had Sociopathic tendencies and he said "no, i didn't read the website you sent me, but I have feelings" --- umm okay lol
I know you can't diagnose him, but would like your opinion.

He cares about you, not just himself. So no matter what he does he is NOT a sociopath. Maybe alchohol damaged.

Okay from what you said your boyfriend has certain traits that would be present in a sociopath, but I would not say he is one, by comparing him to myself

I rarely ever get caught when I lie and even if I do there's always a another lie ( plan B ).

I have friends who consider themselves as much but I see people who assisted me in the past therefore I should tolerate them.

I'm extremely charming ( when I need to be ), with a lot of self confidence bordering on arrogance according to some people ( although more often than not it's just an act, a necessary one to get what I want ).

I'm not shy, I'm open about everything, or so would people think. I would never let anyone know anything real about me and usually just make up a bunch of crap for people to think I am sharing

So...are you a sociopath or a psychopath 'cause there's like a big difference.

you lie.

This was an interesting read. If you know what to look for, I do not believe that it is that difficult to spot a true Sociopath (or Psychopath). Most people refuse to allow their brains to believe that there are Sociopaths. I know a child who is a very high functioning sociopath. She has not yet learned to cover their tracks very well. She is still "testing" different behaviors out to determine how others will react. She is impulsive yet unphased by an adult's reaction to her intrusive and odd behaviors. She tends to be a natural leader, but when she cannot manipulate other children (or even one child) to follow her she gets bored. This happens when a group of children are preoccupied with an activity that the girl cannot control or exert any influence. So, she will disassociate herself from her "friends" (or perhaps better classified simply as "others"). Interestingly, at that point she seems to go on a quest to search for things that either entertain her or will evoke some kind of reaction from an adult or child. The girl is very bright. At this stage, her behavior is quite odd, but benign. It will be interesting to see what becomes of her. <br />
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However, because my child is friendly with this child, at some point I will have the task of trying to explain this "odd" child to mine. I do not want the girl manipulating, experimenting with or hurting my child, should the girl's behavior become anything more than just odd.

don't glorify it - it's not a good thing to want and/have to manipulate others to settle the storm inside.
you should give thanks to the people who can have normal relatable relationships with others, healthy ones.

My girlfirend of 2 years is a

[[My girlfirend of 2 years is a]]


After reading all this I have come to the conclusion high functioning sociopaths or whatever they are called, is not black and white. There are degrees of this and I think we can all be emotionally "cold" depending on the situation. Not everyone mourned Princess Diana's death and quite a few were not even interested. It depends where your values are. A true sociopath would have vitually no emotion for anything and only manipulate people for their own comfort and success. High functioning sociopath is just a term for people who have been isolated by life and lost family values and probably unfortunate enough not to make real friends in their life, meaning the only way they can function at a high level in society is to influence and manipulate people.

damn that's sad

I would be forever grateful if I could email you directly and send an essay I wrote about a man whom I dated. I am pretty sure he is a Sociopath - but of course, I can not be completely certain :) Might this be something I could do? Thank you in advance!