I Am A High-functioning Sociopath. Ask Me Anything.

There seems to be a lot of misinformation about the condition. Most psychiatric studies are done on low-functioning individuals, especially the prison population. You can see how this would give a very skewed picture of the community. So ask away. 

InvoluntaryFacelift InvoluntaryFacelift
98 Responses Oct 27, 2009

Sometimes I wonder if I am a sociopath. I was told I am autistic, with a genius level IQ. But some of the autistic traits don't fit. Some people find me very charming, because I want them to. That doesn't seem to fit with an autistic dx. I can act like any part I want to act like, but inside a lot of times I feel - empty. I feel like I wear a lot of masks but deep inside I am not quite sure of who I really am. Perhaps a blank space. I can convince anyone I am on their side for at least a while but I don't have many friends I keep for a very long time, however. I have managed a few long term relationships and am in one now. I am often not sure why the person I am with puts up with me as I realize I am often quite rude but I think they have very low self-esteem. Since they pay for everything and make a lot of money I try to remember to do nice things for them often so they will continue to do so. It seems to work out well and I enjoy having them around since they are very calming and soothing and do a lot of nice things for me. Is this love? I would miss them if they weren't here because I would have to do everything for myself and I don't want that.

Does a sociopath have no emotions at all, or do they have no emotions in certain situations but not all? Can they sometimes experience real emotions?

I have a question.

I have a child by someone I believe is a sociopath; my psychologist does too. All the signs were there now that I know what the signs are: the love bombing, the hyper-controlling, constant put-downs to make me feel like garbage, cheating, lack of impulse control, constant lies, manipulation, gas-lighting, financial abuse including stealing from me, and a lack of empathy that has been even commented on by his friends...

His first two affairs were revealed by a friend, but the last one he revealed by himself after I left him. He was crying heaps, and did an epic love-bomb for weeks afterwards... What I don't get is, why would he tell me? Regret over losing me, some kind of a genuine attachment of some sort even while doing all these horrible things?

And one time when I went to a friend's house with our baby for a couple of days to get away from the misery I had at home, he lied and said that he'd called the police to take our baby away from me (despite never providing any care for her)... but he also called my mother crying and said that I'd gone away without discussing it with him first and that he loved me and he wanted things to work... why would he call her?

I guess it's hard to know exactly why someone would do these things even despite sharing the same disorder, but I thought maybe you'd have some sort of insight. Do you feel like you can love in some way, even if it's not a compassionate love and more of an entertainment value?

I have heard about high-functioning sociopaths so many things and done a lot of researches but not found anything about their relationships (if I may call it that way) with their families. Will the sociopath use them to gain more fun and/or power (money, respect, experience, etc.) or value them somehow for some reasons? (I know sociopaths' love looks completely different - need to BEING loved and/or acting like in love to gain their aims, etc.) I heard about ones who were using their families to reach some targets but also ones who 'protected' them so much that they would be able to kill. It is as confusing as absorbing.

I have 2 questions.
So, I am seeing this pyschopath (technically we haven't gone out together yet, I keep that ****** on a leash so we keep having to put off a date for a date) and he began love bombing, I loved it, until he attempted to give me less attention so now I refuse to permit him to have contact with me. It's been one week. What is the recommended number of days I keep my adorable pyschopath on probation?

Q.2. Are you all supporters of the Illuminat? I'm just curious.

It's been a week... Text him, first. Don't call him.

So my question is may I be a sociopath because I haven't regained my feelings in it was when I was 8. I also still don't connect to people in fact to me people are nothing but objects

I'm afraid so, being a sociopath isn't fun (acting out fake emotions is fun sometimes, but it gets mundane). I don't know how old you are. But I suggest you work on your acting skills.

So I never have been around people much because of my heart condition keeps me from playing sports do one of the only connections I made was with my cat. My cat got ran over and my parents were dieing laughing when they found out. A couple of weeks later I had open heartsurgery. Ever sense then I don't seem to connect to others or feel many emotions in general and I am now 15

So my q

Two questions
I have left my much coveted sociopath. I have moved out with no forwarding and have made no contact with friends or family since. My first question is how do I make sure he loses interest fast in me (his much coveted 'gold standard empath') and hopefully through this he will lose interest in the two kids we have together? My second question is if he doesn't lose interest and we get involved in court proceedings over custody how could I ensure he is unmasked without the 'never going to be believed, he's a dangerous sociopath' strategy?
Can I throw in a bonus question...is it possible to be a sociopathic empath? I begin to wonder whether my sociopath was MY food?

Add a response...

Erm, this is awkward! I'm new and someone just tried to contact me....I messed it up haha. Sorryyy, try again :)

Are you, in any way, testing to see if any person can make you doubt yourself? :)

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My boss seems to have sociopathic and misogynistic tendencies; he seems to prey on vulnerable women who I would describe as pathetic. He appears to love the control, power and loyalty they have for him. He does everything described on every website I've read except for one thing. He seems to be infatuated with me, yet he treats me horribly 99% of the time. I am married and unavailable. I would describe his relationship with me as love/hate. Ninety nine percent hate and 1 percent love/intense sexual attraction. If sociopaths don't have feelings, how can he feel this and maintain this feeling for so long? He too is married and has had multiple affairs publicly. I would describe myself as an independent thinker, empathetic, and strong. I've called him out on a few things over the years, and he can't take it.I get "punished" when I address him. I mostly avoid him, but I get fed up with his dramatic garbage every so often. I am of the belief that bullies can't be dealt with diplomatically; sometimes you just have to punch them in the nose, so every once in a while I do just that. What's up with the bazaar attraction when he has plenty of women to choose from? Why me?

Add a response... I have a friend who im sure is a sociopath. He has been in trouble with the law since a child, is easily agitated, full of broken promises, very contradictory and secretive, and wont introduce me to other friends. He also was in a gang and has a gun and knife obsession. When he is sober he can be mean and he stonewalls and never takes blame for anything. However when he is high on coke he has told me how much i mean to him and he hates the way he treats me when he is sober and the wall goes up. My question is if you think he is being sincere or manipulative and lying when he is high? I just cant tell because he genuinely seems real then. But maybe i just want to believe he might care just a little. Your thoughts?


Do you think it would be possible for a psychopath to trick him/her self into thinking he/she felt empathy while the feeling was really just a personal code of conduct coupled with some kind of psychological trauma causing this person to need to believe they were normal. Also for the sake of argument, lets say that this code of conduct doubled as a list of behaviors that when done by a second person, makes the first person 'feel' justified in attacking, or even killing them if not for the unavoidable consequences.

Current research in psychopathy tells us that the psychopath is a fully functioning human being. However, by default, the psychopath doesn't care about anything, save himself but he's fully capable of caring if he wants to make the effort. In other words, with a little effort, a psychopath could appear quite normal, if he so desired. Even with a sincere desire to be a nice and empathetic person, a psychopath can never completely hide what he is. Any psychopath, even one with the best of intentions, is going to have some behavior that is quite "dickish". Some things cannot be helped despite best efforts.

For example, I've been practicing empathy for so long now that I don't have to think about it anymore. And the empathy I feel, feels real to me. But my practice of empathy is never 100%. Even after 40 years of such practices, I still fall down. My wife was befuddled over my inability to empathize with her grief over her dead mother... and I can't explain that. I just couldn't do it. To answer your question, a psychopath is capable of honestly feeling empathy but it's not normally his first inclination.

I am overwhelmingly identifying with your...problem? That's it, you don't feel a problem, but other people perceive "problems". When you down to doing your own thing. If this helps I'd be perfenctly willing to chat in a private msg or something. But....now, I must bed it keep trying, forever x. Oh and if this isn't 'you'...then please pass along the message :)

Are you a pyschopath?
I'm not name calling. I'm seeing a pyschopath (technically we haven't seen each other yet. Either he puts off seeing me, or I put off seeing him or neither one of us has booze. It's always something.) He's been love bombing, I love it! Until he severely decreased all of that lovely attention he gave me, now he's on probation and I will not have contact with him. I keeps my adorable pyschopath on a leash. It's been 7 days now, if your a pyschopath, how long must I I wait until I let him off probation?

what's the difference between a high-functioning sociopath and a low-functioning sociopath? My friend is apparently a semi-functional sociopath...What does that mean exactly?

My ex husband is a narcissistic sociopath. No guilt, inappropriate emotions, or none. Very intelligent, intellectual, an overall *****. His code is basically... I don't do it because I was taught it was wrong or illegal. He's extremely manipulative and when you see the man under the mask...he's f***ing scary. I was with him almost 20 years and have 3 kids together. I was raised by a narcissistic mother(you seen mommy dearest u know my mom) and a bipolar older sister. So manipulation, liars and craziness was a daily thing for me. I saw what my ex was early on and knew he was a liar and manipulator... I saw through him. So I received a huge amount of respect. I stayed because we had children and I was dependent on him...but every where I moved I kept up on the murders because I knew one day I would have to turn him in...it never came...but divorce did.

I was worried about my exes genes in my kids... my second child started showing signs... I took her to many specialists... my child has a genius IQ, 220...at 10. All my child's education is high school to college level (she is NOT home schooled)...but the social skills and emotions aren't there and cause HUGE confusion. The therapist s and doctors tell me my child has asperges. I feel they don't want to label my child as a sociopath at 10. What should I watch for with her? She has a "code" as well... she is of a mind there is "right" and there's "wrong" nothing is gray. I tell her to go into the medical field because of her brilliant literal mind and her fascination with surgery shows. Just so you know she goes to a public school for geniuses in the US. I am trying to keep the socialization of her own age group. What can I do for my child to keep them on the straight and narrow...without turning them into a condescending, self righteous *** like the father? How can I teach confidence but modesty at the same time? I am also a well educated, highly intelligent woman with a borderline genius IQ... depending on the charts you use... Main difference is I have emotional connections and love.

Congrats on your child's impossible score of 220. the test only goes to 200 and if your child scored anything close to that you would have to be intelligent enough to not make such a silly mistake as writing "220" as their iq score. Sorry but please don't come onto this site and expect some magical answer to fix your childs mental problems. at best all you could possibly teach them is a more complete code, however you didn't even get them tested for being sociopaths?? your story has so many holes in it i feel compelled to laugh. If your children are as smart as you say then obviously they would have trouble making friends.. that doesn't mean they're sociopaths. my honest advice would to have them get physiological evaluations before they hit middle school. Also it could be your children are scarred by the divorce and it affects how they react to emotions.

Ive just got into a relationship with someone i wasnt feeling him in any way at first but he was so persistent and consistent that I fell for him he wrote me a 4 page letter confessing his love for me and how hes never felt this way about any girl. I've noticed he was different from guys I've dated in the past. He listens to Jazz, slow R&b music. He's very intellectual. I also noticed a very protective side to him. =He would be veryb threatning when guys checking me out or having any contact with me, saying things like "ill shoot him and go back home make myself a sandwich and nobody will ever accuse me because Im nice and charming" Id ask him about his past it always had something to do with how bad he was. He gets very annoyed with people easily, road rage like crazy. He cmetioned he doesnt mind being alone. Later on in the relationship he confessed he as diagnosed with socio path tendencies which explains why hes always so angry at the world. He doesnt drink or smoke hes quiet very observant.HeSs always so serious and Im goofy n always laughing. He always says im the only person that can make him smile and laugh. Idk is he?

sociopath=no emotion

bipolar= lots of emotion cant control

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This entire.....sociopath....thing has caught my attention, like, today. I don't know if I can accurately articulate what I mean to say, but I might as well give it a shot. I often feel that I am inherently smarter than everyone else and even though i reject authority and never try to physically, or realistically, gain authority over people, I feel like they don't deserve to...rule...over other people, regardless if the are a politician (who, as they all do, legitimately rules over people without their consent and threatens to have men with guns come to their house and lock them in cages if they don't want to be ruled and in the worst case scenario, will have those same men shoot them if they resist) or a teacher (specifically the ones who proselytize a group of students who would blindly follow anything you told them). Fairly recently, I have begun to think like an existential nihilist. I feel that so many things are meaningless and question even the existence of life. I am extremely cynical and don't trust anyone more than myself. For example, if someone is my age (I am in high school), I am driving the car. Not them. I don't trust them at all. And the vast majority of people who I can even consider friends (even though he almost never hang out outside of school) I think lowly of and don't respect. I am extremely good as picking out propaganda (and there is a lot of it in the public school system, trust me) but I can almost never react to it because doing it would make me look crazy. I am very intelligent and I spend my life researching things and becoming an expert in many very different fields. I also think I have OCD and the symptoms shocked me completely. So eerily similar to the weird things I do (although I have never been diagnosed). I am very left-brained and don't have much of a creative side compared to others, but I can definitely be creative at times. I like information science than art, for instance. And, through my research (usually on the internet), when I buy something, I want to feel that I am buying the absolute best thing for the money. This is usually how i become an expert in certain fields.
What makes me believe that I may not be a sociopath (not to imply that I thought that I was, just figured I would reply to this cause....why not?) was that I can love people. I especially witness this with my family. I truly do love my parents and siblings. And, I am afraid to take risks because I fear what type of negative result certain actions might bring. I am also a very responsible person and can never, ever imagine myself not paying rent or anything of that nature. I also don't have images of killing people (or anything for that matter, and I have absolutely no desire to whatsoever), although I frequently have images of having really hardcore sex with pretty women. And I do care about the well-being of others, but I am an individualist. I don't believe in giving freebies to people, so to say, but I will help people that I believe deserve my help. I also have a very good idea of what my future holds as I am someone who likes to be very prepared for things. I also feel guilty about the things I do that hurt people that I don't think deserve to be hurt. If they are a bad person in my opinion, I don't care. I avoid them, but if something were to happen to them, I wouldn't care.
Anyway, I am just curious to see the responses I may or may not get. Give me any information you can.

I wouldn't think you're a sociopath.
You claim to feel love, guilt have responsibility etc these all make up the so-called "moral compass" sociopaths lack.
And the whole hardcore sex is just a fetish.

good to hear. and what differentiates a sociopath from a psychopath?

A psychopath is often more violent, criminal etc. A psychopath are often born that way while sociopaths can be made by environment. Psychopaths are the little kids microwaving their hamsters alive and adults that go on killing sprees.
They both share some characteristics.

Hmm....okay. Thanks.

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I am a self diagnosed sociopath, on the high functioning level of the spectrum. I give off an aura of being articulate, intelligent and outgoing (towards most), but what's inside of me much differs. I can easily say I dislike about 95% of the general population, and most of my friends are people who I find intellectually stimulating. I grow quickly tierd of mundane individuals, those who seem unevolving.
I use to believe in Islam, but I don't believe I would have believed in it if I hadn't had the misfortune of being brought up with the religion. After I got over the fear factors in it, I quit believing in it and eventually all of god, ghosts, wizardly shamans combined.
I feel lust, but not love. I have never had a person in my entire life that I could say I love unconditionally.
My closest friend happens to be something similar to a sociopath, infact her father was a diagnosed one.
Compared to the general population I am highly intelligent, I am a polyglot and never had I been disgusted with anything like dissection (I am planning to be a surgeon).
Does this concoction add up?

I am 20. I have always been more intelligent than my peers. I slacked my way through high school in ap and college classes, I never had to try and still got better grades than the "smart kids". I've never felt emotions for very long. Or very deeply. I used to contemplate the death of my mother, and realized I would not cry. When I was punished as a kid it drove me, not to be good, but to not get caught. Killing evokes no emotional response from me. I stabbed a baby wild boar through the heart while Hunting and found the act surprisingly empty. I once manipulated 3 girls at a time into 3 separate relationships at the same time. I don't know what I am, but I have made a positive change. The benefit of being empty is that you can fill yourself with whatever you want. So I've made those things positive and moved on. I know this post is old, but maybe a fellow hollow man will come by and read this. Maybe he will make positive changes to.

I know for a fact that I'm not a sociopath, however I'm curious as to why I act in certain ways that merit concern. The other day I strangled my cat to see what it would feel like, let me just say its a lot harder than movies make it out to be. and loud. The problem there is that I legitimately love that cat. I had to stop because of the damn noise. I enjoy hurting people I love to make myself feel alive. I want to hurt as many people as possible I go out of my way to crush people's worlds, I'm salivating, lol. I do it because it makes me feel alive, so little things have this affect on me. I will befriend a person to systematically ruin their lives. I don't know much about psychology, as I'm but a humble chemical engineer, but would someone elucidate my status? I suppose I should also mention I have pretty bad misophonia, for those who don't believe in it well... lets just say you wouldn't be safe eating around me. I know its only a matter of time before something bad happens to me because of this but I can't seem to stop. Should I seek consultation or are these normal tendencies? I can't describe the feeling I get from looking in the mirror and knowing that I'm what makes this planet sick it's... powerful. But this is why I know I'm neither a psychopath nor a sociopath, I care deeply about people, hurting them wouldn't be fun any other way. The closer the better, the shocked look of betrayal, I've never seen anything more meaningful.

My fiance I believe may be a sociopath. He has no remorse for any of the bad things he does. He constantly pokes fun at me and our 3 boys. We have been together for 12 years. We have been evicted from every apartment we ever rented because he chooses not to pay the rent but go out and buy clothes for himself, buys expensive cars, and he has recently admitted to cheating on me numerous times.I do love him and end up having to pay the bills for his car and insurance even though he makes more money than me. We are in financial ruin 99% of the time And hardly make it buy. Yet he is able to go out and buy things for himself.He thinks that he is above the law and that society's rules do not apply to him. He also believes he is destined to be this almighty powerful leader that everyone will look up to him. Is he a sociopath or just a psycho path?.

He's a low-functioning sociopath based on that description.

<p>Im writing a paper about Agentism (beliving the world is run by outside agents, usualy invisable, ghosts, aliens, god, demons, etc.) and patternism (seeing patterns where there arent any). Both of these things serve very important survival functions, our ancestors saw threats where there wasnt any and survived. Agentism, attributing reason or motivation to things outside yourself is how ones able to empathize, to place yourself in someone elses shoes and imagine what they feel or think. So my question is: As a sociopath (someone who lacks empathy) are you able to form legitimate beleifs in god,aliens,big foot, unicorns, icelandic elves or invisible spaghetti mosters? If anyone knows a legitamate scientific paper concerning this topic please provide a source. Thanks.</P>

Hi, I'm not sure if I'm a sociopath.I'm in high school and i'm excellent student.I love psychology and detective stuff. I don't care abouth anyones emotios and I hate when people show them in public and they aslo always over react.I don't care abouth anything acctually.I lie alot , don't know why but I like it .I'm not violent in reallity but in my head yes.So what do you think?

it sounds like you have a few of the tendencies , but i don't know if you could be a sociopath or just a pathological liar with common sence (people should never show their emotions in public)

hahaha. for some reason your response made me laugh.

Okay, just discovered this site and it seems interesting.

My parents have been on my case for the last couple of years suspecting I have some sort of emotional detachment due to some unemotional reactions to the death people considered close to me.

So I finally did and after 10 sessions, the brilliant therapist discovered I have a narcissistic personality. Fact is I've been lying to him for the past 2 months, creating scenario after scenario to prove I'm a narcissist.

For some reason throwing people off the tail seems like a natural thing to do. I'm a self diagnosed sociopath and I'd rather have people believing I'm a jerk than a potentially dangerous individual. As I grew up as an only child in a very close affectionate family, I got more and more detached as I got older, until I became unfamiliar with any form of compassion/ affection. I have above average intelligence ( 147 IQ ), currently in med school and i speak 5 languages fluently ( which is a fact I prefer to hide, admitting to 2 ). I'm also a pathological liar and a huge fan of psychology, which has been allowing me to read people better and in some cases attempt to control their behavior through suggestion and manipulation.

I also have a small penchant for violence ( okay it's huge ) and having 2 black belts and being a semi professional Thai boxer, I can be a bit dangerous when someone is standing in my way.

Oh another thing. After some research I discovered that sociopaths can in fact have certain affections towards people but my parents aside, i could not care less about anyone. I've been studying the art of seduction for a long time and coupled with my knowledge in psychology, let's say I've had my ( and plenty of people's ) fair share of one night stands, generally creating a different character every time . I've never been involved in a relationship nor do I want it.

Hopefully all this info can give you an insight into how a sociopath functions and I have a question for anyone with experience in the matter. So far I have been following a strict code of ethics in order for my indifference towards others doesn't harm anyone close to me, but I'm worried about something: is a sociopath with above average intelligence, resources, physical abilities and an ambition more likely to turn dangerous and harmful than a normal person ?

Answers are much appreciated

Hi. i 2 am self-diagnosed with sociopath . I too have ur similar triats . i knw 4 languages and i too am studying in med school . I learnt computer hacking , web designing and yea similar dangerous stuffs like learning to kill... And yea pretty good at manipulating people .....Also tried learning kick Boxing...
I might not feel much love and affection . But i do feel stress caused by this medical studies...So i just have a small doubt...

Am i a Sociopath or not bro...??

And yea i too have my own CODE...and yea i think we wont be turned dangerous until very very neccessary...yet i think we turn out to become so powerful...

Ok, It look like you have a lot of the tendencies I have, now what you have to figure out is if your a sociopath or a psychopath. You also seem not to have a difficult childhood which would indicate psychopath, who are born like that.

Is she a sociopath??

I met this woman online in February 2013 and during the first month I didn’t ****** her up and ask her to be in a relationship with me like I should have. She appeared to have liked me more than I did her during that time but she didn’t pursue me either. We spent some weekends together but never actually became an exclusive couple. We eventually went our separate ways and dated others. In May 2013 I came back into her life and we started going out. Unfortunately she had been seeing a guy for two months but she said she loved me, had always loved me and would break it up with this guy. Eventually, she asked for her house key back from him and told him she wanted to see other people. However she did not tell him specially that the reason for the breakup was me. She had always said that she had never left one man for another man and she didn’t want to start now. However, she never actually stopped seeing this other guy and she continued to see me as well.

Over the next 3 months, she and I traveled extensively taking trips out of state, hotels, bed and breakfasts, DC on the 4th of July, Atlantic City...etc. and having the best times. She was honest with me about still seeing him and she would tell me when she would see him…which I hated but I accepted. She was with me much more than she was with him but it still bothered me that she wouldn’t commit to me. She always lied to him when she was with me…..and as hurtful as it is to admit…she would always post our trips on her Facebook page but I was never tagged or even shown in photos. Her photos consisted of things such as the hotel we were at, sunsets on the beach, the restaurants we went to…several shows…but never once was I shown on FB with her. I have many photos of us together on these vacations but out of respect I didn’t post them on my FB page either. I let her control the situation. I know I’m such a fool but she said she was just trying to spare his feelings. I accepted it because I was hoping that I would eventually be with her forever. She said she was very confused and often questioned why I didn’t grab her back in February when I had the chance. She was scared that maybe if she left this guy and then I decided I didn’t want to be with her anymore she would have lost both of us. I wish I could go back in time and grab her for myself but obviously I can’t. However since coming back into her life in May I treated this girl like a princess. . Trust me on this and she knows it too. I began loving this woman everyday more and more. She told me every day she said she loved me as well. She said she loved this other guy too but her love for me was different – with me she had such passion. She was IN love with me versus just loving the other guy. She said if the other guy left or dated someone else it wouldn’t be a huge deal…but if I were to leave or date someone else it would destroy her. She made me feel so special…and she was so much fun…and I found her beautiful. I noticed though that although she always said I Love You...there were noa actions that accompanied it.

Anyway, this love triangle went on for months…it took its toll on me…I lost close to 40 lbs. in less than 3 months from the stress.

So…about 3 weeks ago I take her out to eat…we have drinks…we’re having a great time. We go back to her place and it’s around 1AM…still having a great time. We’re having some wine, eating some food…barely dressed…it’s literally the best time of my life to be honest…and then there’s a bang on the door and it’s him. He yelled inside that he knew I was there because my car was out front. I knew she wouldn’t just allow him to stand outside and bang on the door so I opened the door…and to make a long story short…she asked me to leave and he stayed…and I never saw her again. I’m disgusted. I’m completely heartsick. I am so heartbroken. I know she used me…but I’m devastated. I loved this girl so much. I’m like a walking zombie. My life feels like it has no meaning now. She actually blamed me for opening the door that evening and said she couldn’t forgive me for doing that. After all of this though…I still want her. I need to get over her and also resist the urge to call her. I don’t know who’s sicker…her or me??? Can someone please tell me when this pain will subside? I used to be this healthy person but now I’m on sleep medication, anxiety medication and something else prescribed to calm my nerves. I’m a freaking mess. My heart is in a million pieces.
He has changed his FB photo to show them as a couple but she has unfriended on FB me because she said it’s to protect my feelings so I don’t have to look at them. She still calls me or texts sometimes just to say hi and string me along I suppose. And of course, she says she still loves me.

Couple of facts:

Based on her upbringing she has detachment issues. Instead of dealing with issues head on, she has always dealt with negativity by putting on a happy face and going out with friends. (She has admitted this to me multiple times) Basically she doesn’t really feel the emotional pain that most people feel. When I told her how devastated I was and told her that she had “No idea” of the pain that she has caused me…and she wished she knew how I felt.

When she went out with him while dating me she would tag him in Facebook and show them together which made me feel awful to know she would do that with him but not me. She claimed it was because people assumed they were still dating. He played it cool and allowed her space…I didn’t. I bugged her constantly about leaving him and when she and I could be together. I probably chased her away with my nagging.

She’s a very successful executive in a large company and loves the thought of being in control. She is a pathological liar…charming…all her friends (drinking partners) LOVE her…she’s deceptive…high sex drive…everything that’s been mentioned of what a sociopath is. She has absolutely no remorse, no guilt conscience or anything that a normal human being would / should have. She has never apologized for anything including kicking me out that evening. She just said she didn't want a confrontation.

I really think she's a sociopath...but although I have so many questions that she never seems to answer...two questions stand out more than any.
1) I think I was the transitional victim…the one that she just wanted to play with and hurt and destroy emotionally versus taking everything from me. You think she didn't include me on Facebook because she knew she was just going to dump me and be with this other guy so she was looking to destroy me for fun?? I think she’s going to totall destroy the guy she’s with now. I'm talking marriage, house kids...etc. Also with blocking me from Facebook and other social media, it’s like she protecting me from being hurt anymore. That's not the traits of a sociopath. Any thoughts??

2) I saw here once since...and I read her what I wrote above...and gave her a hard copy. She grabbed it and wouldn't give it back. Just yesterday when she called me she tells me she saved it in her wallet and takes it everywhere she goes. Why would she do that? This is a humiliating experience for me.... she says it make her feel closer to me. It seems that she's holding onto it like a trophy. Heck I've written her love letters that she doesn't carry with her. Is she impressed with her "work"??

You are not worthy.

My sociopathic father of my child has made me end up in the hospital and jail he is very very intelligent and savy and has a lot of allies he seems to be rid of me now I told him I know his games.. He understands I know he's lying, projecting, manipulation, gas lighting ect.. I feel more drawn to him when he gives me the silent treatment and says get the **** away from me.. How do I get him to trust me.. I bust my *** of to sexually please him and do absolutely everything else possible.. I stopped asking anything from him.. By I still insult him.. It's really hard I get punished all the time and he loves it.. How do I get him to trust me he says I'm his enemy and he believes in going to Try to throw him in jail.. And he wants me and my son gone. I want him to want me again so I don't have this head ache and I need him to trust me what does he want?

A real sociopath doesn't care about stupid girl emotional relationship crap. At all.

Yes, he said that on countless occasions. "I don't give a ****"
He also does not respond to our son crying or his needs at all.. It does not affect in the slightest. Its actually a problem for him because it wakes him up. So on behalf of my son I have to apologize that he's in the room in his "oh so mighty presence"

Well for one how do you know if he is a sociopath? He may well be a psychopath or an ambitious jerk.

i do understand your predicament. If I had a sociopath for a wife, well that would be a lot of fun since I am one myself.

Now I'll put himself in his position and try to explain to you how he feels.

He definitely loves you, or at least has some sort of feelings towards you, but sociopaths rarely ever act upon emotion. We act upon rational reasoning. If he believes your relationship is weighing him down, he will end it.

Now that's what I would do, but I do not have any kids and do not really know how their presence would affect me but in case my wife was weighing me down, even just distracting me from a certain goal, the divorce papers would be waiting

Ok, what you have go to understand is that we (me and all the sociopaths) never trust people, it is impossible. Also most sociopaths care nothing for peoples well being, I only do because I'm high functioning and have many other disorders, and maybe because I'm girl???? We like game and love to prove our intelligence. Also we don't feel guilt, we may feel it for a second or so but after that it's gone. But you also have to remember that he is a guy, and they would love to have a sex slave and by doing what your doing your giving him exactly that. Ok so my advice is to get the hell out of there, we are properly incapable of a prober relationship since we can trust or be honest, I don't know about myself but I hope I can someday learn to love, I know you may love but the most he feels about you is...... I don't know. I'm so sorry but, give up on him, don't go to the police just give up and move away.

1 More Response

It's a bit unfair to suggest that sociopaths are distinct manipulators. EVERYONE manipulates, only most lie to themselves about being manipulative. They rationalize to themselves and others. Their "superego" as Freud put it, shields them from reality, the reality they dare not admit to themselves. The sociopath is the honest person who is fully aware of what he wants and merely offers the subtle influence here and there to help this come to fruition. It's not, in my opinion, that sociopaths lack the ability to possess empathy, but rather that so many people fail to earn it, or to make themselves worthy of it. And yes, you guessed correctly. I am a high functioning sociopath.

I believe that it's not possible, even for empaths like myself, to feel an emotional connection with every single person they meet. As an empathetic person, I find it difficult to turn people down who are more interested in me than I am in them. If I can't connect mentally and emotionally with someone I can't seem to connect with them sexually. Just wondering; do sociopaths experience a similar difficulty?

No, not at all. I would say sex has nothing to do with emotional connection and is more of a physical need than anything else.

i also have no problem turning people down. I don't really care about how other people feel but I also don't go out of my way to cause them suffering. I'm kind of neutral in the matter.

But sociopath do have the ability to connect with people and truly care about them but, imo, this takes time because we rely on rational reasoning when thinking about someone and rarely ever get affected by emotions

bump, I am interested in talking to you as you seem somewhat intelligent and you may be interested in me as I am also a high functioning sociopath. I am especially interested in what you said in an earlier post about limited self-centered emotions.

uhm it's not a job application ahah

you can feel and have emotions right? and there are some people (a select group) who you would never screw over because you feel obligated and loyalty to them for some reason? most people you couldn't care less about? despite being able to feel emotion and pick up on it easily, most of the time you can discount it using logic and not allow it to cloud your judgement. you are also probably very intelligent and have a patternistic view of seeing the world? just asking because it seems like wherever i look there's no real info on sociopaths other than your typical axe murdering psychopath and i wanted to know if these are tendencies you would say you have

Everything is a value evaluation (not to be redundant). The trick is to never surrender a larger value to gain a lesser one. That would be, to some degree, self destruction...self immolation at the minimum. It\'s a myth that when two people have interchange, and one profits, the other must lose. So \"sacrifice\" is very, very seldom necessary. Ergo sacrifice is not a virtue in normal discourse. It would behoove you to remember that. What is virtue is to strive for profit, and the other person should too. When both parties profit from an exchange, any exchange, even personal relationships, then it was a worthwhile trade. \"Altruism\" is a ghastly false idea, one where one is a saint if one loses on purpose. It\'s disgusting.

[[you can feel and have emotions right?]]
Emotions are fine, but it\'s not fine to be ruled by them. Sentimentality makes people stupid.

[[just asking because it seems like wherever i look there\'s no real info on sociopaths other than your typical axe murdering psychopath and i wanted to know if these are tendencies you would say you have]]
In modern psychiatry, psychopathy is an antiquated term, like neuroses. Today, \"psychopath\" is considered a subset of the broad range of sociopathy, which I personally disagree with. I think that high functioning sociopaths are calculatedly self-interested, and see to it that their short term and long term goals don\'t conflict. That\'s rational. I fail to see how being an axe wielding murderer fits into any cogent long term plan for success. If some evil man tortured a little girl to death, you might entertain the idea of killing this fellow in some unpleasant manner, but you would put such thoughts away. A sociopath might just act on that idea, but it would be the moral outrage about the innocent girl that motivated his actions to begin with. A psychopath wouldn\'t care about either the girl nor the man, neither of which he knew personally. See? Two totally different things IMO.

[ I think that high functioning sociopaths are calculatedly self-interested, and see to it that their short term and long term goals don't conflict]

If you believe this then why would you think the sociopath would act on thoughts of killing the man, their own logic would tell them no to go out of their way to kill the man who hurt the little girl. if the sociopath acts purely for self-interest and long term goals then they would see the little girl getting hurt as "NOT their problem" and would feel indifferent. The sociopath would logically only eliminate the man if he was in someway, in the way of the sociopath reaching their goals (self-interests). Therefore, your statement [ If some evil man tortured a little girl to death,..... A sociopath might just act on that idea, but it would be the moral outrage about the innocent girl that motivated his actions to begin with]
contradicts the first statement.

Well yes. I could really not care less about anyone except people I know for fact deeply care about me.

I think most of us follow a certain ethics code and attempt not to hurt people but at times it can go out of hand.

Now I know that emotions deeply affect people therefore try to protect them, but since I am emotionally detached, it's like clutching at straws.

Now as for intelligence, sociopath range anywhere from agonizingly dumb ( talking Patrick Star dumb ) to exceptionally brilliant. Now for example high functioning sociopaths are not only extremely intelligent ( talk 130 + IQ ) they are also very rational and make decisions based on their reasoning and not emotions.

That's what makes dumb sociopaths so dangerous. They rely on a rationality they do not possess

okay that last comment got me xD ahaha i'm sorry :')
I’m trying to relate your first line to my life
Because i have this separating line between caring and love. I care about people ( intensely) but i don't love them. Example Family, close friends, 'best friends', strangers i treat all of them with open arms but if we were separate i'm not even slightly sad. I have and can walk away from people without feeling sad at all? I just find it awkward when they try and say how they'll miss me? ( but like love i can only understand it as like relationship stuff i e : boyfriend girlfriend which I am actually incredibly sensitive in that area like more so then usual for people. At one point i was trying to numb that part to get rid of it cause i kinda of saw it as useless, weak but instead of going away - while trying to numb it. It made me intentionally get into peoples heads ( using psychology :L) and tricking them into loving me so i could hurt them without remorse - like it was a game in which i always won and then i saw the destruction once i was back to normal? ie : happier... and as for caring about people who you know for a fact care about you?
I think i kinda get that - cause i have this aunty and uncle who love me more LIKE REALLY LOVE ME and i kinda just don't know how to deal with it cause it's unnecessary but they really do love me and it is a little bit of a chore after 20 awkward kisses and hugs in 4 minutes that you're kinda of wondering why they didn't stop at number 1 or 2… But there was once my uncle got through to me and i started crying... It was really different aye. i remember he was worried about me ( which i found odd cause i was fine but like peeps were supposed to pick me up from school and i walked around classrooms cause my nana was taking ages and she got there and couldn't find me and so 2 hours later half my family was out on the street looking for me when my nana finally found me) Everyone seemed just glad i was home and my uncle started hugging me as if i'd almost died or something and he kept saying "i love you" over and over and over and over again and i was standing there thinking dude... i'm actually fine... like can you...why the heck is he so worried? weirdd... and then after about 6 minutes of this almost like something dropped from me? i dunno it's like i'd never heard anyone say that before? even though .. i was always told it and i started crying and i went to hug him back

" i love you too" and i actually meant it not as a relationship but as a, i can tell the difference between family and a stranger

it happened once it was different

and I also don’t understand why I separate emotions as I do I haven’t had a traumatic childhood, my parents were seriously good to me and my family was too…? so i don't get it really.. - would you have any words for me? ( btw not actually saying i'm a sociopath lmbo although i did see some narcissistic points in my personality that sort of struck me)

3 More Responses

Is he a sociopath?
He is constantly bored and has to be in front of the TV or he gets anxious
He Manipulates to get what he wants and keeps his life compartmentalized.
He lies about the stupidest things and even when he gets caught he won't admit he lied.
One time he asked three people for money to pay the same bill and accepted money from all three. LOL - its funny now that I think about it but none the less disturbing.
He doesn't have friends, other than a couple that tolerate him from his youth
He was in a gang when he was younger and did some bad stuff - went to jail.
He's smart in some ways, but lacks common sense and doesn't get sarcasm.
He is sweet and always makes me feel like im the best woman in the world - to an extreme (3 years already and no change in that aspect)...
He is not what you would consider openly charming to others.
He is not abusive physically or emotionally
He is distant, to the point I feel like I'm alone when we are in the same room.
He is "shy", keeps to himself until he feels comfortable
He can't read fiction because he can't imagine the characters or scene in his head.
He is not a good communicator and is afraid to say the wrong thing in social settings
He did drugs for a couple years in his youth
He has a high tolerance for pain and doesnt know his own strength so he's careful not to rough house.
He thinks people deserve it when bad things happen to them (i.e. the lady got her stuff stolen because she left her trunk unlocked - it's her own fault) but if it happens to him the world is going to pay.
I asked him if he realized that he had Sociopathic tendencies and he said "no, i didn't read the website you sent me, but I have feelings" --- umm okay lol
I know you can't diagnose him, but would like your opinion.

He cares about you, not just himself. So no matter what he does he is NOT a sociopath. Maybe alchohol damaged.

Okay from what you said your boyfriend has certain traits that would be present in a sociopath, but I would not say he is one, by comparing him to myself

I rarely ever get caught when I lie and even if I do there's always a another lie ( plan B ).

I have friends who consider themselves as much but I see people who assisted me in the past therefore I should tolerate them.

I'm extremely charming ( when I need to be ), with a lot of self confidence bordering on arrogance according to some people ( although more often than not it's just an act, a necessary one to get what I want ).

I'm not shy, I'm open about everything, or so would people think. I would never let anyone know anything real about me and usually just make up a bunch of crap for people to think I am sharing

So...are you a sociopath or a psychopath 'cause there's like a big difference.

you lie.

This was an interesting read. If you know what to look for, I do not believe that it is that difficult to spot a true Sociopath (or Psychopath). Most people refuse to allow their brains to believe that there are Sociopaths. I know a child who is a very high functioning sociopath. She has not yet learned to cover their tracks very well. She is still "testing" different behaviors out to determine how others will react. She is impulsive yet unphased by an adult's reaction to her intrusive and odd behaviors. She tends to be a natural leader, but when she cannot manipulate other children (or even one child) to follow her she gets bored. This happens when a group of children are preoccupied with an activity that the girl cannot control or exert any influence. So, she will disassociate herself from her "friends" (or perhaps better classified simply as "others"). Interestingly, at that point she seems to go on a quest to search for things that either entertain her or will evoke some kind of reaction from an adult or child. The girl is very bright. At this stage, her behavior is quite odd, but benign. It will be interesting to see what becomes of her. <br />
<br />
However, because my child is friendly with this child, at some point I will have the task of trying to explain this "odd" child to mine. I do not want the girl manipulating, experimenting with or hurting my child, should the girl's behavior become anything more than just odd.

don't glorify it - it's not a good thing to want and/have to manipulate others to settle the storm inside.
you should give thanks to the people who can have normal relatable relationships with others, healthy ones.

My girlfirend of 2 years is a sociopath...help?

[[My girlfirend of 2 years is a sociopath...help?]]


After reading all this I have come to the conclusion high functioning sociopaths or whatever they are called, is not black and white. There are degrees of this and I think we can all be emotionally "cold" depending on the situation. Not everyone mourned Princess Diana's death and quite a few were not even interested. It depends where your values are. A true sociopath would have vitually no emotion for anything and only manipulate people for their own comfort and success. High functioning sociopath is just a term for people who have been isolated by life and lost family values and probably unfortunate enough not to make real friends in their life, meaning the only way they can function at a high level in society is to influence and manipulate people.

damn that's sad

I would be forever grateful if I could email you directly and send an essay I wrote about a man whom I dated. I am pretty sure he is a Sociopath - but of course, I can not be completely certain :) Might this be something I could do? Thank you in advance!

Can I send you an essay that I wrote about a former boyfriend who I believe to be a Sociopath - high functioning? I cannot be positive, as I, myself am not one - but would absolutely love your input on the subject. Thank you kindly!

Hey, how can one know if he is a sociopath? I mean if someone fits for most of sympthoms, but not for all and so on? Also, why would you need to act *normal* , i mean most of people wouldn't understand that you are a sociopath even if you wouldn't bl<x>ink regulary or cry. They would think that you are very tough person, that's all. Also, do you feel a strong attachment to some people (not sure how to call it)? For example you really need some friends to be near, because they can help you not be bored or sth like that. Also what about feelings, i mean, yeah, you don't care about dying people in other countries (but who would?) and so on, but what about wanting to laugh? You can feel happy, right? <br />
Right back soon :) <br />
Yours sincerely,<br />
Anonymous :p

Dear Facelift:<br />
<br />
My name's Indy and I'm totally confused. I watch the BBC series, "Sherlock," and in it he tells someone: "I'm a highly functioning sociopath. Do your research!" JI then read a blog when the comments pointed away from sociopathy and towards high functioning autism. I just finished talking to somebody who said the writers had read all the original Conan Doyle books and even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle describes Sherlock has a sociopath. <br />
<br />
What's the difference between sociopathy and autism? <br />
What is Sherlock really?<br />
<br />
Thank you kindly for your time. I remain,<br />
<br />
Sincerely yours always,<br />
<br />

im not the author however im in a unique positon to answer that because im a high functioning sociopath with aspergers. the difference is that a sociopath while they do not lack emotion are basicly 100% self centered, everything they do is based on themselves its impossible to understand others or develop true relationships, whereas high function autism (aspergers) is basicly a form of autism which is characterised by limited brain development in areas such as social interactions, empathy, coordination, and linguistc skills during early childhood, and though they may appear similar superficially they are very different, in fact most people with aspergers appear by definition normal by the time they enter adulthood.

So if your behaviour is destructive, like an abusive parent..<br />
When the child realises the manipulation and reasons behind why their gut is telling them one thing and the parent is presenting as normal to eveyone else.<br />
Say the child lets the abusive parent know what they are<br />
What would you do, cut them off as punishment? How would you deal with that?<br />
How do you treat your children, how do you view them?<br />
Do you hamper them?

I dont think you are sociopathic having read what I have read here. A private individual who has a deep reverence for nature, beauty and an incredibly creative thinker. The fact that you dont want people to really know you is not that unusual. <br />
<br />
Sure you dont want people so close to you, the "real" you... theres probably a reason for that. Sure. <br />
<br />
sociopathic... im not so sure.

The original person who started this "ask me anything" <br />
is the most intriguing sociopath I've ever heard of. I look for sociopath in my day to day life, I watch them and observe people to find the small things no one else would notice. For instance its very easy for a sociopath (especially a female one) that is trying to be nice, to be too nice. When in a role of being kind to someone, when they would make any normal person angry, the sociopath won't react out of anger, they will be kind. Which makes people just think they are very kind and forgiving. Other small things have to do with reactions. very small and hard to see. I have found 2 people that believe they are sociopaths, but on further "investigation" I found there is just something else wrong with them. I am currently trying to find out if a girl who is also small, cute and blonde is a sociopath. She is incredibly good at lying. I can normally tell when someone is lying or telling the truth, but with her. I can't figure out either or. If the original socio who started this ever finds this comment. Tell me something i can use to figure out if she is or not for sure. <br />
<br />
its become an obsession of mine.

As compelling as any autobiographical story, your facade "involuntary facelift" suggests to me that you and I are much alike in thought and execution of process. Not to rain on "Bennyford's" parade of presumptions of a psychopath, I did however notice not one remark in "facelifts" elaborations that resembled any quandary of violent outbreak or hostility that may only lament in her mind for your confounded disrespect in regard to her thoughts. However the resonance of my conscious does not include the amorous lifestyle of the populous. My thoughts even though perplexing are not always so lucid. This chiasm of thought best finds its fruition in colorful metaphors and similes. It's much simpler to perturb others that way in order to deceive and pick their brain apart for ulterior motives that may lye subliminally in their mind creating a brief episodic overload to gain information, but then again most of you know that if you have ever gotten into an argument. My apologies for the run on sentencing I'm not being very grammatical as you may have noticed. As for "multipurpose solution" I concur we cannot like most be lax about our little gift. Difficult as it may seem I assume our life much like an brain aneurysm. Sooner or later it will burst after all your repression has weakened your will to maintain the facade, and chaos will flood in like a whiskey bent rage and become something I much imagine would be an intellectual genius that has the answers to all the perplexing questions to life and not being able to communicate or demonstrate in any way and be labeled as weird or unnatural in some cases. I would like to thank the aforementioned three people even "Bennyford" (because he did make a lot of valid points due to the fact they are out there as well), for your intellectual insights and referencing. I would much like to continue this string if your all willing to persist...?

Ive heard sociopaths are either born that way or they become that way ba<x>sed on various environment factors and how they grew up.<br />
<br />
Were you born a sociopath, or did you become one? <br />
If you "became" one, do you remember having feelings of love and empathy before then?<br />
Do you ever dream you are an empath or experience empathic feelings and experiences while dreaming?<br />
<br />
Thank you. Your honest answers are refreshing and appreciated.

Been w a sociopath for 2 yrs. Goes in cycles of normal bf, not caring at all, abuse and then loving me unconditionally. Does he really love me? Is this all a game? What are the cycles about? Does he actually feel these different ways at different times? Does he really think he is right when he clearly is not? He used to have remorse (cry or apologize) now he seems to just enjoy it. What's in his head?

If he is a sociopath, no he doesn't love you but it's not his fault. Get out of it soon.

Have you been unfaithful to past or current lovers?

Hi,<br />
I want know how do you organize your thought in your mind and brain?<br />
i mean do you use any system to organize or it just happens ?<br />

You sound more like Spock than a true sociopath. In that I mean no disrespect, I simply highlight the exaggerated logic you use in your explanations. The problem here is that a true sociopath would not be online posting about being one. Fact. A narcissist would.

omg too true

I'm tired of people self diagnosing on the internet.

You sound like someone who is only looking for attention. You have never been diagnosed and though you may not feel much, it doesn't mean you have antisocial personality disorder. Plus, you are a woman, so that diagnosis is highly unlikely. Maybe you have another personality disorder, or maybe you are just looking for attention from strangers.

Seriously who are you any different from other women? A women wants to be liked/desired. Your need to seduce people. Your desire to become a somebody in academic world (waste of time).<br />
Interesting people are rich, smart or good-looking?<br />
As far as I am concerned you just a self centered extremely rational and you are probably suppressing emotions. Wow that makes you unique. (My *** it does)<br />
If your ability not to love is true man you lucky.

Hello Everyone. I believe i am the same as all of you lol. I tell the truth without caring about how other people feel, and i can lie about anything and make it pass the truth. Ive lied to doctors, lawyers, people in the military, biologist, ect. and actually have made them believe i am in the same field of work as they tho i've never studied any of those fields. I can fit into any crowd, i can tailor my personality to anyone i meet, I've grown bored of single women because their to easy to manipulate, but now im find that the same goes for married women even hard core lesbian women are becoming easy to conquer. When people die i feel nothing but tailor my emotions to fit with the crowd. I can cry on command which has in the past worked to my advantage. The big the lie the easier it is for my to control, the only time i feel normal is when i workout. My heart rate speeds up and everything around me seem to slow down and mellow out.

My Step father after 15 years kicked my mother and I out of the house. a week later he replaced us by what looked like my mom but blonde and a single parent..and he had cut all ties and my trustfund off easily in one day. we were broke. I found out through facebook he even dated the same way skiing in Utha, then snorkle Hawii etc....<br />
I am confused. it always felt he followed a sc<x>ript ................, nothing was ever genuine. his friends called him the bullshit artist. <br />
I was anorexic as a young adult he didnt seem to genuinly care it killed me.<br />
He just was about fun the rest was alcohol<br />

Parentofsocio...<br />
<br />
I'm not sure he is a sociopath. He is a troubled boy. I use to work in a group home for boys that had emotional and physically violent tendencies. Their biggest question was always "why doesn't my mother love me?"<br />
<br />
You need to find constructive things to do with him that spend his energy - both physically and mentally. He also needs to reconnect or stay connected with his mother. I'm not sure the relationship, but we are a species that (generally) cares about our connection. It's why many adopted kids always end up wanting to find out where they came from.<br />
<br />
At any rate, I am going to send you a private message. I think there are things you can be doing to relieve some of the stress this boy has. Labeling him this early in life is not a good thing. Humans are currently heading down a path of losing touch with what matters and forgetting the knowledge of our ancestors as if they have nothing useful to provide us.

Dear Sociopath, I am raising a 10 year old boy (stepson) who I am extremely concerned about. His real mother smoked meth when pregnant. I am left with a sociopath. He lies CONSTANTLY, he steals IF IT IS NOT NAILED DOWN, he punches and kicks the dog, he has called/had Child Protective Services called 4 times to our house in the last 6 years with his lies and fabrications. Today he told me in Florida last year gas was $1.50, just talking I said it has been several years since gas has been that cheap! He said over and over, "I know what I am talking about." <br />
This is so minor today, but I am so sick of his behavior. He is so bad-behaved and antisocial., I have kept a log for 6 months. I do not know what to do with him. I bear the burden of raising him as mom, his dad works. We go to counseling, but I feel like it is more for me and my hubbie than the boy! His Dad keeps swearing he is getting better...but alas, the log tells a different story. My question is...what do we do with him? He has been in-patient treatment, kicked out of every babysitter, friend and family member we have ever sent him to. I am at the end of my sane wits end. I am afraid I am raising "Dexter" or a prison inmate! What to do?

You're an idiot. You're not raising a sociopath you're raising a child who has issues. Handle it.

from what you know, what is the diference between a psychopath, sociopath and someone with antisocial personality dissorder?<br />
what makes you `high funtioning` as opposed to `low`, is it to do with the ability to operate without people noticing the condition?

hmm... I do identify myself of having anti-social personality but I don't really think I could fit being stereotyped as sociopath or psychopath or ect. I did took basic psychology in my freshman year and talk to a psychiatrist but then again, I find it better to deal the problem with myself rather than finding someone to bring the worst out of me or worst, classify me.<br />
<br />
I find myself understand the term "mirroring". Its hard for me to identify myself with people in which they always sees me as weird and I sees them as slow. (Its harder on me when I was around 5 where I had to go to preschool. I like playing alone and I always skip class since I know its just a waste of my time) But as I grow up I learn to socialize and behave like others of what people see as normal but even then, I still had a hard time understanding their need to connect with everything and I don't understand their need to herd... and likewise they always don't understand me in which I like to say "I'm just literally complicated and I don't comform to stereotypes." or if I'm lazy enough, "I'm a goth". Done and deal and they leave me alone and happy. <br />
<br />
As for feelings, I do empathize and sympathize but only to my logical limit. Like I have to think a lot to understand the need for the feelings (like love, sad, grieve ect) and associate it to books or people that I read to make sense of it. Like the cliff situation, I would be likely save the kid and not the dog. Since I could berate the kid for being an idiot and scare him enough that he wouldn't do it again which would save my energy a lot and I leave the dog since if means by hanging on its claw, it could get up with its hinds. And even if I save it, what good will it bring me besides running away or having the risk of biting me or chasing me around or risking a lawsuit? <br />
<br />
But as for being selfish. Personally at some point I am not. I do charities and since I'm studying biomedical science, I have in some way HAVE to help people but I love studying diseases more than I care about people which is very nuisance. I do have ethics on treating them well but I was unable to feel what others feel in the same situation. Like its far more interesting to see a huge sample by a cancer patient being grossed by a pathologist than seeing sick people in hospital, I am able to sympathize them but I couldnt really relate them as a meaning to myself. I understood pain and such but its really fleeting. <br />
<br />
Like just now, I watched a 1 minute stream of a guy beating a girl up. I couldn't understand why she was being so receptive of the attack when the attack happen in a public road . If I were in the situation, I would shoot or call a cop or stone the guy in the head to avoid being a target myself but for the girl, I don't feel the need to sympathize her for what she obviously could avoid. Even if she's someone I know which I would angrily question her brain function.<br />
<br />
And in addition, I myself had a hard time with a religion I was born with but I learn to respect it and make sense out of it but I choose not to say anything that may contradict to me. <br />
<br />
As for family, they always know I'm different, they just coop with it or have selective memory about it. Generally they're just satisfied that I am able to take care of myself. <br />
<br />
You'd realize I usually think before I do since my first impulse in my head were sometimes... more than weird but I am actually much worst when I'm a kid. But it can lapse like one year in high school where I'm sometimes suicidal and destructive at some point. I fight (physically and emotionally) with everyone and everything and considered taking and using friends and family for my own motives and I was like a different person but now I'm able to channel it to other things. <br />
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Though, It might all be different if I'm a man. <br />
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... just a piece of myself for you to psychoanalyse.

Do you have a family? Do your parents know?

yes we learn to mirror -- mimic -- we are actors -- I have a most successful business -- but all in all -- why are we alive -- what do we live for -- lack of feeling does not mean happy

I married a woman with a degree in psychology -- she has helped me --- I used to be low functioning -- change the obsession from a simple reaction -- to taking a REAL action -- I want to yet become a BETTER manipulator -- I have no degree -- no formal education -- but I am on the board of a MAJOR nonprofit -- I did not know what I was -- now that I am more educated -- I am getting more skilled on how to use my pathology to get what I want -- I am 35 and own 10 houses -- from a guy in a back room - filling orders -- making $7.oo an hour -- I am worth over a million. the things like conscience, family , obligation, that rule others -- I just don't have --

yes we learn to mirror -- mimic -- we are actors -- I have a most successful business -- but all in all -- why are we alive -- what do we live for -- lack of feeling does not mean happy

I show some soiciopathic tendancies, but i wouldn't call myself one.As for feeling more for animals than people, You have just descirbed me.You see the adverts on the TV for charities in Africa or child abuse which are meant to make you feel bad. They have no effect on me at all- I cant explain i just feel no empathy, no nothing towards them- At all. I suppose thats one of my tendancies.But if i see a Animal abuse advert- I do feel empathy. The reason why i believe im not a sociopath.I suppose one way to describe it as is this way;A dog and a child are hanging off a cliff and you can only save one of them. which do you save?I would always go for the dog, because the child can help itself. They have arms and can pull themselves up cant they? I help myself, and myself only, if you understand what i mean. If i see a way that will help myself in any way, I will try by any means to accomplish it.

Hi. You don't sound like a sociopath to me. You sound young, and narcissistic. You might want to check out NPD. I suspect that's a better fit. Best of luck to you.

NPD IS sociopathy.

This whole thing disturbs me - not in a negative way towards any of you but b/c it makes me think. I always thought death was sad for people b/c of them losing a person. Isn't that really what all people are mourning? I've had these moments - just seconds - where I wonder if I'm 'cold'. I'm known as a deeply feeling person, passionate. My empathy is remarkable enough that it is considered special, but sometimes I do feel cold at the same time. So, now all you're saying is making me think.<br />
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What about animals? I know some people with high functioning autism can feel for animals more than people. and you?

i should add that your 'i'm not random, you just can't think as fast' resonated instantly as a way i regularly feel. i'm pretty honest about that and, once ppl know me, they accept that kind of caustic arrogance as part of my rough charm

This whole thing disturbs me - not in a negative way towards any of you but b/c it makes me think. I always thought death was sad for people b/c of them losing a person. Isn't that really what all people are mourning? I've had these moments - just seconds - where I wonder if I'm 'cold'. I'm known as a deeply feeling person, passionate. My empathy is remarkable enough that it is considered special, but sometimes I do feel cold at the same time. So, now all you're saying is making me think.<br />
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What about animals? I know some people with high functioning autism can feel for animals more than people. and you?

Can I just point out, Bennyford, that calling her 'it' is nither big nor clever. She is just another human being, not an animal. I happen to have a high functioning scociopathic friend and I am well aware of the fact she probably doesn't see me as more than a convenience but it doesn't stop the fact that I respect her greatly and value her friendship. <br />
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I have a couple, very subtle Sociopathic tendancies but they don't really appear unless it's times of unusual amounts of stress. I cried when my father died and also when my gandfather and uncle followed, but I didn't feel any emotion for people who died after that. <br />
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My psychiatrist says I am an empathic person since i know what it's like to be depressed and feel imense amounts of emotional pain but she has also said to me that the ocasional lack of emotions and a tendancy to lie if I know I can get what I want could be sociopathic. Personally I think she's contradicting herself but still, i've stopped seeing her now as she says i'm all better, lol. <br />
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I don't understand why people seem to think all sociopaths are bad. not all of them are murderers and criminals; some, like the lady who made this forum have built up a persona so you couldn't even tell she was one. I saw through my friends mask and I'm the only one who knows about it. <br />
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I let her take out her frustrations and thoughts on me (verbally) because I understand she needs to. I have know idea why I pick up on different types of people e.g: Sociopathic, Empathic or just arrogant twats but I do and my friend finds this intruiging, I think it's one of the reasons we're still good friends. <br />
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Anyway, I just wanted to say that honestly, the people who are so small minded they see all sociopaths as dangerous killers are not worth listening to, I don't value anyones opinion when they refer to another human as an animal and say they should be put down. It makes you wonder where they fall in mental capacity and society themselves :) I think i've been rambling.

Thank you for stepping forward and posting this. It's always nice to see someone else whose situation mirrors my own. It's really quite a shame that the standard profile of a sociopath is of those who are low-functioning, and as such the world has such a pre-prescribed view of us. All sociopaths must also be psychopaths, and in turn all psychopaths must be serial killers and rapists. It's bullshit. <br />
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As for Bennyford, you sound like one of those individuals who strongly adheres to the belief that just because something is legally wrong, that it is also morally wrong. Laws are created by human beings, and human beings are not infallible creatures. But I suppose it requires a higher level of thought to reach that conclusion. <br />
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Also are you trying to be witty by referring to our kind as 'it'? You think that if you keep her faceless that she will cease to be a threat? Sorry sunshine, but your fear and depersonalization of the enemy won't keep us at bay but if that's what you need to feel safe in your ignorant little world, then by all means treasure your pathetic excuse for safety.<br />
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Also, sorry to cut down your -clearly- well thought out argument here, but obviously she is not going to be so obvious as to do something that will get her outed in the ignorant society that we live in. If you could read I'm sure you would have noticed that. <br />
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Finally, it's low functioning sociopaths who lack the ability to foresee the future of their actions. Really, they're much more similar to the disgustingly over-emotional creature that you seem to be than they are to us. But it's heart-warming to see that you've been reading the wikipedia article. Nice try.

I think Bennyford is on to your little game and I think that ****** you off. It appears he has caused you to feel the one emotion you are capable of feeling. Now who is manipulating who.

Bennyford, you sound like you have control issues.

Bullshit.<br />
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Psychopaths are purely manipulative. Even now. . .<br />
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"I suppose, I'm jealous of them because I will never be able to have that experience. " [in reference to love]<br />
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This is a manipulation. That's all this type of machine person is capable of. Even now, this automaton is feeding on attention. This psychopath hasn't mentioned yet that it feeds on creating emotional anxiety in normals. The reason is that it is trying to create a feeling of sympathy and respect for itself while it feeds, and admitting that it feeds on the creation of anxiety and attention-getting would alert people to the fact that there is a shark in the water.<br />
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For instance, it has admitted that it is highly ambitious in terms of work and power-seeking. This means that it will feel zero need to adhere to rules, either social or legal. If causing a nervous breakdown in its competition will serve its ends, it will. If it thinks it can get away with murder, it will do so. Typically, there is a deep-seated dark desire in the psychopath for power and control, and causing anxiety and pain in others is the ultimate ex<x>pression of power and control. Don't be fooled for an instant that this psychopath doesn't engage regularly in this kind of activity.<br />
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Interestingly, psychopaths have almost no ability to conceptualize future reactions to their actions. They have a great deal of trouble avoiding self-destructive activities as a result. For example, the psychopathic executives at BP oil, even after making such huge errors, even after being caught, continue to use their half-baked manipulation tactics without realizing that the game is up.<br />
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This is a bad, bad time for psychopaths. The more people learn, the better we are able to protect ourselves from these shark-people.<br />
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This individual is dangerous and should be identified, caged or put down.<br />
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There is no room in the human race for these monsters.

This discussion is fascinating. I liked your post a lot. It kind of jolted me back to reality as I was forgetting who I was listening to. Although it's extremely interesting to get a (supposedly) first hand account from a real sociopath, I agree that if manipulation is their game it pays to always be on alert. Thanks for that.

Says the psychopath.

First of all, you're wrong. Depending on what kind of psychopath you're dealing with. Secondly, psychopaths have no choice in the matter. That's what they are. Your lack of empathy for their situation is no better than theirs. Worse, actually as you do feel it, just not for people that are different than you. There is a room for them, and if taught correctly, could be very useful in society.

Out of the social restraint mentally, you may feel free to some degree, but I wonder will you cast some limitation on yourself? Or what's the most frustrating part of your life?

Do you have any experiences with knowing you love something or someone, but can not feel it? Or is it that you know you should love them and you act accordingly? I am engaged to a sociopath, and for the most part I don't mind(just the fact that he doesn't realize when he upsets me and can't understand why), but I want to better understand him and how he is. He's high-functioning and mimics emotions very well. He says that he can not feel any strong emotions besides anger, however, he says he knows that he loves me and his family, but he just can't feel it.

I realise that as this thread is quite old you may not be actively responding to it. I hope otherwise... Just a few questions:<br />
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I, as an 'empath' or 'neurotypical', have often wished that I could be in the head of a high-functioning sociopath for a day (or much longer) in order to be able to be able to truly empathise with, or understand them. Have you ever wished the inverse of this, and for reasons other than furthering your own aspirations?<br />
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And, as a high-functioning sociopath, who do you perceive to be the greatest 'target'?<br />
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And finally, what qualities do you respect most in, as mizfit put it, the 'average joe'?<br />
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Thanks very much

Well you never know. I could probably get a ton of brownie points for rescuing someone. But I think those with ASPD have a lot of the same motivations and goals as those without. They just have different reasons for having the goals and different ways to go about obtaining them.

Fair enough- I wasn't expecting "to take over the world" or anything like that. :)<br />
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From what I've read, I'd rather have you as a neighbor than most people that aren't Sociopaths- you probably wouldn't come pull me out of my house if it caught on fire, but you wouldn't cause me any trouble either, and that would suit me just fine.

To be content I suppose. I think that's what most people want out of life. I guess my ultimate goal is to be able to look back from my death bed and think, "Well, that was fun." I am of the opinion that we only get one shot on this planet and you better not waste it. I suppose that's why I'm so damn rabid in the pursuit of my ambitions. Couple specific goals though would be to earn my MBA and Masters of Musuem Studies, work on the East Coast or possibly Europe, retire with a decent investment portfolio, buy a house, meet some interesting people, earn my Skydiving A license. Pretty normal stuff like that. -shrug-

You're ultimate goal in life is
"To be content you suppose?"
Shouldn't you already be content from being unaffected?

What are your ultimate goals in life?

Maybe you feel disrespect for the people who profess love to you because those people have no idea who you really are?<br />
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I could certainly see that however, there is much more of a power struggle involved. I love seducing people, especially those I view as a challenge. People who seem like they are not as easily conned as the vast majority of people are. You'd be surprised how easy it is to make the bulk of people love you. Say something intimate to them, make a keen observation, or provide comfort during an emotional time and they've fallen hook, line and sinker. It's the ones who are a little more jaded that present themselves as a challenge for me. When someone falls in love so easily with a purely constructed outer la<x>yer, they no longer seem like the obstacle they once were. They appear weak, gullible and stupid. In fact some of the most rewarding "relationships" for me have been those in which the person held out for the longest time, sometimes months or years. It's a slow and cunning process that comes to fruition in the most elegant fashions. I suppose it's the hunt that is the exciting part for me.

this is actually terribly relatable ha.

I have some questions... do you ever think about getting married and having children like others do, or do you see that as being to your advantage? have you been in relationships with men and been able to "pretend" the emotions your partner had? would you do the same in marriage?<br />
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I am very... strange when it comes to relationships. It's one of the hardest things for me to go along with, since it is so very much about a deep emotional commitment. I see the merits of it and the value it has but it's just such a strange concept. I've never been in a long term relationship and tend to break it off once things get too "mushy" for my tastes. I've had many people admit to being in love with me and I tend to lose respect for them at that point. I have power over them. What more could I want? I am fairly certain love is beyond me but I have been infatuated with people before. Every once in a while someone comes along who is incredibly interesting to me, sometimes physically (long necks, shoulder blades, and collarbones seem to be my weakness), sometimes mentally. I want to peel away every la<x>yer of who they are and find out what makes them tick. I want to know all their deep, dark dirty secrets. I suppose if I were ever to spend the rest of my life with someone it would be someone like that. An onion who is constantly surprising me and keeps me on my toes, who keeps the interest alive. In return, I'd do all I could to keep that person around, create a perfect girlfriend and lover for them, maintain their interest in me, keep the seduction process going as long as possible. It is very easy to pretend to be in love with someone. I guess the actual process just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I am often confounded by the things people will do for love. They get so stupid and irrational. At the same time I hear people talking about how wonderful it is. I suppose, I'm jealous of them because I will never be able to have that experience. <br />
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I'm not sure what I'd do about my own emotions in a relationship. Sometimes though, I like to imagine finding someone who doesn't mind. Or who are maybe even like me. Maybe we would be able to understand each other and what we "really" want out of a relationship. However, you'd under constant threat of manipulation and power struggles. I'm unsure to what extent a sociopathic relationship could really work. <br />
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I'm not sure if I would be a good mother. I babysit quite a bit and am good at it. The kids love me. But I don't know how I would treat my own, or if I would even love them. I've heard differing stories from sociopathic parents. Some form the closest bonds with their children and some completely disregard them as nuisances. It depends a lot on maternal instinct I suppose.<br />
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is it possible to hurt your feelings?<br />
Yes, actually. Not so much for other people to hurt me but I do feel loneliness quite often. It's a very isolated life. No one around me knows the real person I am. The person they love is a facade for something else. There is no one to express my frustrations to or explain how I feel. And I do feel, but the emotions seem to be wired in a different way from others. They are self-centered where normal people's are based on those around them. If that makes any sense?

How are you with truth and lies? <br />
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Depends, I'm not a compulsive liar. I can be brutally honest when the situation calls for it but I can lie very proficiently as well, especially when it's to my benefit. But then there's the whole issue of my persona. Would that be considered a lie? Omission of facts I suppose. Lol. I guess you could call a lot of my daily interactions lies in that case.

When were you diagnosed? Were *you* aware of your differences from an early age?<br />
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I was never diagnosed by a psychiatrist and I don't plan to be. However, a school councilor once suggested I might have "tendencies". Luckily she didn't probe too hard afterward. At that time and beforehand I knew I was "different" I just didn't understand how. When you're a kid you think everyone's mind works the same way yours does. I didn't realize what that "difference" was until 7 or 8 years ago and even after that I considered a number of different theories, ranging from things as strange as spiritual possession to Asperger's Syndrome. But nothing seemed to fit including Antisocial Personality Disorder. I hadn't been arrested. I could hold down a job and I had very strong impulse control. All of the inner symptoms were spot on but none of the external ones. It was only when I learned about people with high-functioning sociopathy that everything sort of fell into place for me.<br />
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Do strangers ever seem to pick up on something about you and react in strange ways?<br />
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You'd be surprised how easily people see what they want to believe. I fashioned my persona with my body in mind. I am very petite, blonde and have cute face. There is nothing about my outward appearance that threatens people. Similarly I created a personality to fit it. I am happy, funny, a little ditzy, and "the nicest person you'll ever meet". So far no one has told me to my face I creep them out. The closest thing was someone said I am "very conscious of my words". This jarred me a quite a bit because no one had observed that before. <br />
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@Bitterdregs <br />
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I do enjoy the show Dexter. I guess I'm a poseur now, huh? Lol. No, I do like the series. It's one of the only stories that portray a sociopath in a somewhat sympathetic light. Instead of, "OMG they're a serial killer. Gun them down." There's so many stigmas and biases. Words get thrown around like inhuman and evil too often for my taste. I don't consider myself "evil" and maybe just a different sort of human but not "inhuman" or "subhuman". You'd never say that about someone with Asperger's or another mental disorder, yet for some reason it's perfectly fine to say it about ASPD. <br />
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I have the same experience with beauty, not really crying but just this completely overwhelming, I don't even know. Appreciation maybe, but it doesn't even seem like a strong enough word. It's triggered by so many things. Even a really good bean and cheese burrito or an elderly man's hands. It's just this deep, deep love for life and all the little pleasurable things in it. It is interesting, because I've heard very similar accounts from others. <br />
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Along the line of thoughts of your second paragraph though, if you're looking for a great thought experiment, it's entertaining looking at the connections between Nietzsche's Ubermensch and sociopaths. Personally, though I think we're a fluke. Like platypus. The question is if you can use your freak egg-laying ability to survive and flourish.

Another question, how are you with truth and lies ? I'm a pathological truth teller ( OCD ). I've known a few sociopaths and they seem to be the same way with the exception of actively pursuing a goal. I can control it to an extent when writing....sugarcoat a bit, but not in real life. I say whatever I am thinking and people don't like the truth one iota.

I know gays have children too, but nature does'nt.

Hello? Anyone home? By the way, gay people have children too.

I bet you like the show "Dexter" LOL and by the way, I mourned my last car . I am a lot like you actually. I do have genuine emotional responses but not the same way regular people do. I'm the same way you are with death in particular. I have no reaction. I've lost a few friends out of that. Occasionally I will have a laughing fit if someone dies..but it's not an emotion, just something that happens. I can also con myself into believing I have emotion. That comes in handy. As for the real emotions, they have odd triggers. When I see recognition of beauty in others...I cry like a baby.<br />
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I used to follow native traditions and in those traditions everyone has a "medicine animal ". I always associate the shark with sociopaths. Shark medicine. I think the human species produces sociopaths every so often for a reason. Humans are overpopulated and at the top of the food chain, no natural predators... so it makes sense that a certain amount of sociopaths would be born, as well as gays. It's nature's way of decreasing the population. ( if the sociopath is a killer ) I might take a lot of **** for that statement, but I believe it to be true.<br />
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Do you use a ghost program to redirect your IP addy ?