Person? Ask Me Anything.

I am many things. I suffer from OCD, PTSD, and depression... I'm currently in [self]recovery for an eating disorder. I'm a lesbian, an atheist, a teenager/young adult, a poet, a crafter, a daughter, a sister, an animal lover, sadist and a masochist... and so much more.

Ask away, and I will answer as best as I can.

UnspokenWords UnspokenWords
18-21, F
4 Responses Nov 29, 2009

They whine... Their whines simply reach me much more emotionally than those of humans. I love animals dearly, and it seems to me that so much of their lives are out of their control. Humans, on the other hand, seem much less deserving of mercy and much more selfish and crude, as a whole. I'm not excluding myself from that category. I'm just better about fessing up to it than most.<br />
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I wouldn't call that period in my life embarrassing... I'm not even sure if it can be said that I was particularly religious, anyways.<br />
I've been an Atheist since I was about 9. I grew up in a very Christian household. To this day, my parents still make me attend bible study, knowing full well I don't believe any of it, even though they agreed that I wouldn't have to once I was 18. However, I'm still living under their roof. So, I try to peacefully find ways out of this.<br />
I didn't really think about religion before I was 8, when I got baptized... It was then that the little cogs in my brain started turning, and I realized that the whole God thing didn't make sense to me.<br />
Until then, I was just kind of listening to my parents and believing what they believed. My mom is, however, convinced that I stopped believing in God in middle school or high school because that's when my depression was at it's worst.

That is a good idea. I shall get on that.<br />
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Lately, I've been trying not to be violent... and, oddly, my sadism only applies to people.

I have my poetry many places. :)<br />
I could send you my blog, where most all of them are... but you'd have to search through my 2+ years of entries.<br />
It's nice that you're interested. I thank you for that.

I guess there were and still are many things that made me want to get better...<br />
For starters, I was trying to make positive changes in my life, and still am. I felt like the give just wasn't worth the take anymore, with the eating disorder. It had already taken so much out of my life, and I wasn't sure I could handle giving anymore over to it.<br />
I also felt like it went against so many of my beliefs and the things that I preach, but I guess I started preaching about those things because I didn't want anybody to end up where I was.<br />
I'm always telling everybody that they need to love themselves and be comfortable in their own skins. Healthy comes in many forms, and it's the most beautiful thing... I guess it just took me a while to stop rationalizing my hypocrisy.<br />
I'm still so scared that I'm going to relapse. It's still so hard for me to not let it out of control. I haven't found out how to recognize hunger and being full, really. I'm always either eating too much, not noticing until I feel like I'm going to explode, or I'm not eating enough because I'm afraid I'll eat so much that I'll explode.<br />
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Looking in the mirror is still tough, but I just keep changing my appearance, a haircut, piercings... It seems like I'm always doing something else to try and prove to myself that I'm beautiful how I am. I'm getting there, slowly...<br />
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This was a very good question. thank you =)