21 Year Old Widow, Ask Me Anything

I lost him when i was 19, married for 4 weeks

Tool88 Tool88
18-21, F
18 Responses Feb 10, 2010

Oh that's heart renting! I cant imagine. My best friend lost a child at 14, killed by a car. I went to see him! I told him that I didn't know what to say. There were no words. I put my arms around him and we cried for ages. He said that words were useless and that he knew how he would feel if it were one of mine! That's a long time ago now and we are still great friends and he has two other sons and is now a doting grandad! Take heart! It will work out in the end! Pat x

I'm 21 now. I wasn't married but close to it. We had a 3 year old daughter at the time. We were together for 6 years and lived together for 5. We didn't hang out with friends because we had eachother. We are best friends. When she wasn't with me she was on the phone. Well. Last year she passed away of a brain tumor. The last three months we had together were in the icu. She was in coma and I was overlooking her. The surgery left her peralized compleatly. She wasn't geting bettter just worse. The first month felt like hell to me. I still have my daughter so I need to be tuff. I have all this memories we shared. Now only I remember. I prayed like there was no tomorow. I made big changes in my life. To save her life. Now. I know that in life we don't get to deside. We can make plans but those plans always change. Ever since I was samll I told myself . Go with the flow. Like it is said. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I'm thankfull to God that He put her in my life. After all I do have her daughter who looks just like her and the wisdom that not meny have. I am 21. I have a 4 year old daughter. Life for me has been a lesson that God alowed me to understand. As for my tomorow. Only time can tell. Use what God gave you to help others in need. I grew up without a mom. For way diffrent reason. But now I'm a mother and father to my daughter. And I won't fail her. Since the day she was born Iv imagined the day where I walk her down the ille.. I can't do it without Gods helping hand. I'm in no church group. I don't belive in them. They just go agienst eachother. I just fallow my heart and do what's right. Its long I know.. there's more

must be why they say.(never part with out a kiss ) ( don't go to sleep mad) (all ways say I love you ) never say mean or hatefull thing to each outher ) because you never know when thay will go. I'm shure you've asked why! and why not me! I hope you over come this tragedy, sinserly..

I have been very angry since the accident mostly at God though. I am a very spiritual person and I have always believed in the power of prayer but when it happened I prayed so hard without stopping and Adam still died (that is a hard word for me to say.) Then last week I was so mad at Adam for leaving me here, we had so many dreams and things we wanted to do together. I felt horrible for being mad at him though because mostly I just miss him to the core. I just want to be with him so bad, I feel like there is honestly no reason for me to be here, no one depends on me. I am really close to his family... they have been like another set of parents to me for 6 years. But honestly there is absolutely no reason for me to be here. I'm not suicidal if that's how i sound, I just can't understand why I got off the bike because if I hadn't we would be in Heaven together.

Thank you Kjohnson, it is nice to know i'm not alone. <br />
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It will never be easy. I have major problem with being angry about it, angry at him angry at myself, angry at life for bringing me this pain. I get so full of rage over losing him it hurts me in more ways than one. Letting go of my anger is hard, because then i would have to greive.<br />
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I tell myself every day that it will get easier. But it never does. I'm stuck here until i decide im ready to move on.<br />
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I hope it gets easier for you, i truely do.

Hey I just lost my husbad of only eight months about a month ago. He got a motorcycle on a Tuesday had a wreck on a Thursday and died early Friday morning. I never knew that grieving actually caused such physical pain. Were together for almost 6 years (I was 15 and he was 16 when we started dating.) Adam was the absolute joy of my life, not only was he my husband but also my bestfriend. The thing I blame myself most for is the fact that I had only been off of the motorcycle for maybe 10 minutes. If I had just stayed on I would probably be with him right now. I have no doubts where he is or where I am going. The main thing is just that I want to be with him. I just wish I had a piece of him here with me (baby.) I miss him so badly.... everyone says it gets better with time but right now every day seems harder than yesterday.

hope you'll get better now, because you have to know that what's gone will never be back...<br />
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it really was an entire shock in your life<br />
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if I were you, I'd suicide...I hate my gf leaving me in this misrable life<br />
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so, I think you're stronger than me though<br />
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so, you're my row model, I think ^_^

Me too, thanks

Im ok, living life does eventually get easier. <br />
But missing him never fails to ruin my day

saddest thing I have read all day =( so sorry....

that's really hurt on your part.. like everyone else when their love ones left them uncertainly..

aw sweetie. *hugs*<br />
death sucks. <br />
well that's a stupid understatement!

I haven't delt with it very well, I tried to forget it rather then give myself time to grieve. <br />
It changed me into a completely different person, i haven't 'dated' since. I became very sexual, and used it as a mask to hide behind so i wouldn't get close to anyone again. <br />
This is one of the very few times i've ever talked about it. I'm trying to be more open about it lately (New years resolution)<br />
I don't speak to his family anymore, i tried to in the begining, but they had never met me (They live in the UK) so it was awkward and brought up raw wounds. So i left them to get on with their own lives.<br />
Every day i visit the spot where i spread some of his ashes.<br />
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At times i feel like i wish i had never met him, but those moments only last seconds before a smile washes over my face and i remember how much he use to make me laugh. I wouldn't give those memories up for anything!<br />
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No i didnt kill him... lol

Holly sheat!!! did u kill him?

The time was short, but worth every second, i'd assume, love..

Whatever happened, but still you have a better chance, if you feel yours; is a fate. Whatever happens is for Good. So all is well.<br />
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Wish you best luck to begin a second life. God always give a second chance in life.

I'm so sorry that happened, how tragic... Life can be unbelievably cruel. e-hugs to you.<br />
How have you dealt with your grief since then? How do you try to overcome this?<br />
Do you feel like you have been changed, permanently, as a result?<br />
Do you still talk to his family? (If they supported the match/liked you)<br />
Have you started seeing anyone new? If you haven't do you think it's something you could even do in your foreseeable future?<br />
Do you do anything special to commemorate or celebrate his life?

car accident he was only 21 at the time

i was fortunate to stay alive after my car wreck ...i was 17 and had become paralyzed.....if my car wouldve been an inch misleaded i wouldve been decapitated .... btw dbz equals awesome :3 i really need someone to talk to so plz hook me up