I Am A Redhead In Love With A Fellow Redhead, Ask Me Anything....

Yeah, there seems to be some taboo over redheads getting together. I have red-brown/dark strawberry-blonde hair and he has real vivid red (actually very very deep orange). It's actually me who has the worse temper, he is so sweet.

I'm also a student, wanting to be in the science profession. But I love computing also.

I'm part German, Italian, American (a tiny amount) and English (plus Welsh).



I'm not sure how many people think it's weird for two redheads to get together, but some other reds I met also wanted to date a non-redhead. I've only been called 'ginger' once in my life when I was outdoors in the sun (it looks pretty orange out there in summer!). :D

Night90 Night90
18-21, F
8 Responses Feb 18, 2010

He hasn't been talking much recently, even when he has been online. It makes me a little sad, but I'm conscientious and loyal, so I won't give up on this one....

yeah he hasn't been online yet. He's done this before. Poor guy.<br />
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I had to direct some new users to an event page because they asked me twice whilst I was offline (I had checked my mail via my phone). I had to sign in just now and take over as site leader. I guess it's just more way to prove how much of a good moderator I am though, I mean someone has to do it when the admin is too tired (and the other one is barely online- he just supplies the server).<br />
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I already said I'd help him out as much as I could- he's a pretty avid businessman. He gave up his ph.D a second time in order to run his site. (Last time it was because of a bad relationship). I figure the way to win him over is to help out there as much as I can. Especially when he can't be there himself. I also helped when he had a sore eye and he wasn't online much for about 2 weeks, there wasn't as many members then though. Now there is a constant influx, so it can keep me a little busy- but I love computers and him, so why not. :P

I got good news on the cellphone thing. I never knew my cellphone 'pack' had a free add on for international calls. I suppose it is because if they put it in automatically it would cost the provider a lot of money though. It was supposed to cost $1 per min which is a lot, but I got the free add on and it is 5p per min (nearly 8c in his currency). It is also cheaper to call the US, Canada and China than it is the ROI for some reason (by mobile it costs 15p per min to call the ROI but only 5p for US). Now I need to make sure we get the international codes and stuff right and maybe convince him to look for the free deals too.<br />
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It's pretty cool but I don't want to cost him more (I'm not sure about hidden charges he may incur). So I'd prefer him to look for the deals also. If not then it's just a matter of him trusting me with his number....<br />
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And it seems he truly was tired last night, the poor thing hasn't logged in since. Good though in some ways because I don't want to bicker again :P (we're both really intelligent and often get into debate which can end in a hostile way). I did say last night though that (when a slightly offensive member signed up) if the member doesn't obey him to refer the member straight to me because I would for sure deal with them. He's a forgiving, kind guy and I can't say that's too much of a bad quality (if he wasn't forgiving I would never have gotten a second chance), but he often does let situations go too easily, so he risks offending his other site members. I said that if anyone hurts him I would stand up for him right away because I love him and that's what I do for those I love. He said "aww" (but he says that a lot, hard to interpret unless he's on webcam). Then I also said that I do stick up for myself and the community also though.<br />
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The increase in members does have some good point; it would mean that people are less bothered by our relationship being more in the open. When it was a close community nobody dared approach. I still want to make sure we are going to get past the month mark though, so I daren't approach him (not in a hostile way anyway). I may sort that out in spring vacation so that I wont have class the next day! ;-)

Thanks. I did find it costs £1/$1 per min from a uk mobile to a us one. So we will have to talk via webcam for now :-). It is hard for me to hear using webcam but I will try when me and him get back to it.<br />
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We found each other confusing last night and other people weren't helping. I told him I wasn't in too good a mood at the start though, so before other people started to come in and out of the chatroom he knew there was a reason for me being a little weird. I'm worried he isn't actually sure of our status and I don't want him to tell me something I'd rather not hear. This is even though we sorted most stuff out on the 7th of February. I guess it's just paranoia, with it being a friendhip and dating site; he posts friendly comments and some of the users (the new ones) get a little too friendly for my liking.<br />
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A few people have said he's just another person and there are plenty out there and he keeps telling me to have fun (confusing me yet again), but he's really not just another one. We have an enormous amount in common. <br />
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A quote he gave me yesterday when I said I was worried for him (before going into my moods being strange recently) was "you're worried about me burning out? (about running the site almost single handedly)" and I said "no, it's not the site I worry about". But he can't seem to pick up on the real issue, I said "I'm worried about what you're response will be if I tell you this, it's a deep worry, you know". To which he said "sighs".<br />
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I'd love to tell him but I don't want him saying I'm a control freak, or us breaking up or him saying he wants to see other people. That would drive me insane with all the competition from the new members. A friend of mine there said that if he himself was a girl or gay then he would go for him too. Kind of worried me because now I know how much competition I may have. I don't want to challenge him, but it's kind of hard when you feel under threat. ;-)

Thanks. We have talked by webcam audio before, but I was audio shy so it was difficult and the accents were a little difficult too. I hope he doesn't get too much interest in anyone else though....me and him are an 84% match...surely that means something.<br />
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I'm working on building the bond next, so I'm going to entice him into the video/tv watching kind of stuff. The conversations seems apt to move into more intense stuff, although I now know he seems uneasy talking about the more distant future of a relationship.<br />
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Still on my mind was what he said yesterday "I had found that I would need someone on the agnostic-atheist spectrum". I am an agnostic-atheist or thereabouts, but I wasn't sure about why he said that. It was those little misunderstandings which triggered off an argument in January (although we were apparently only casually dating then, under his poor control I must say).<br />
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Since I did pledge to be in control of this, I can't ask him what is happening. But I will try to ask if he knows what is going on. I don't want to confuse him, but I also don't want to challenge him either.<br />
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I sure hope he calls too! But I'm a little worried, as last time I couldn't understand much because of the accent. I think I'd feel better about it though, as it makes more sense than talking over my pc! haha.<br />
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Now we just have to work out the money issue. He is supposed to be spending $5000 on a business venture. It is supposed to cost 3p/min but I think that is on landline not cellphone. So my estimate would be about double a UK-UK call. Perhaps 10-20p/min (that's about $0.38 I think). <br />
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He still posts friendly comments to other people, but I don't want to push him too far. I'm lucky to have him, even at this level. I try to see them as just friendly, no more- although it is hard to see if the people receiving these comments will see them as just friendly.<br />
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I'm hoping for the best here as there is too much shared, to just lose this. He just has to decide whether to call or not. I suppose it is "his call" on when he decides to. Although it will help that I have pledged some trust by giving my number first! hehe.

Yeah, I haven't seen the postie in a while. They change so quickly round here. But never mind, as long as I don't push this too much, me and the new guy should be fine.<br />
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It's a little difficult with him in the US and me in the UK. He said calls can cost $1 a minute, but I found this to be actually closer to 3p/min so I think he tried to get away from the phone call stuff. He did say we had webcam voice chat, which doesn't cost anything, but I suppose I just want to get closer to him. As he runs his own site, we have also been at odds since he keeps posting over-friendly comments on the new members' photos. I find it hard not to be jealous and sometimes want to put him in the position I did on 7th February, when I asked what was going on and really sorted it out.<br />
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I told him that he was the most important thing in the world, to me. He also said he wasn't sure because he didn't feel it, although I did get him to agree we had a ridiculous amount in common. He was still saying it needed feeling and he didn't have that, so I told him that most people don't fall as fast and love takes time to achieve. He eventually ended up saying "I'll try, but I'm not sure I want to be tied to one person just yet". I was thinking of confronting that more, but I don't want to lose what we have. I wanted to tell him that me and him are extremely similar, with just enough difference to do our own thing once in a while....that we are also brilliant at getting along, and also that if others are involved then he is never going to know or experience love between us. <br />
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I'm not so sure what's going on now. Although I did compromise a lot at the beginning. I told him he never had to say anything he wasn't ready to, or do anything if he wasn't ready to. This was after we both 'made up'. I also said I would do the planning ahead to make sure it goes somewhere. As he has been busy with the site though, we haven't had much ability to follow my plans. We also started talking about something today which I hadn't counted on til later.<br />
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I also gave him my phone number today (after rambling on and beating around the bush so much about it- that it made me late for class) but he hasn't read the message yet. I stated what I wanted to do, in IM, but I said I had to go and composed a quick PM for his future reference. He said I didn't need to, but I felt we were ready for that kind of personal detail 'sharing' that you often do with friends too. I also wasn't counting on him flirting with other people, although it's mainly the ''not knowing if he knows'' scenario that I'm worried about. He's a good guy and it could easily work out, regardless of distance; and he did say he would try (which he is a bit, he can accept my sense of humour now). But I'm honestly not sure about why he sometimes says ''huh?'' if I make certain statements, like sometimes commitment style stuff. Threw me off course a bit, but I don't want to confront him again. 7th Feb was when I honestly thought I would lose him, then something happened. I don't want to go there again.

Hmm. I just seem to have a very desirable shade. It changes from blonde-red-brown depending on the lighting levels. Although I'm not really really popular, I seem to be more well-liked than my very red friends.<br />
This is the first time I've dated a real redhead, mainly brown and blondes in the past.<br />
I guess it depends on the area too. A lot of people want to be red here, although a lot also tease real reds. <br />
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I'd say; the girls are jealous of girls with red hair (because it's so unique and non-mundane) and the boys don't know any better. As I've got older, I've found that (at least where I live) there are those that either avoid me or stick to me. One guy yesterday kept talking to me and also took the orders of another girl with reddish hair (slightly more brown than mine. Mine is more blonde).<br />
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I also have the classic redhead personality. I guess having mixed colour hair (brown-red/blonde-red) has a better chance overall.<br />
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I'm a member of a few redhead sites too. Some also have admirers of redheads (mainly male). I am much more confident as a result.

oh dear, i am a red haired little mutton but for a long time gone blonde or brown, cuz red has never helped my self-esteme. men don't like it for starters, I like different colours don't worry me so long as the person inside is wonderful i'd be friends.