I Am In Love With A Convicted Murderer And Sex Offender Ask Me Anything.

 

 

 

 

So I would love to give you a really quick (I’m long winded, so quick is probably not the right word to use!) run down about his & my journey, thus far. 

25 years ago, right out of high school I moved with friends. In my first week there I met My Frankie. I have never forgotten how his eyes looked that day, as we said our first hellos. The roommate thing didn’t work out. Instead of going back home to my safe & loving home to my parents, for some reason I stayed. (I now believe that reason was for Frankie & I to build a foundation of trust for us to use now.) Things weren’t the best for me being 17 with no family there. There was this adorable skinny nerdy guy with braces, who wasn’t like any of the other “street” guys. I’m talking about My Frankie of course. He took my heart & he didn’t even know it. I thought I had to carry myself as the big tough girl (all 90 lbs & 5’1” of me, not anymore though) in order to protect myself. Around My Frankie, I would act girlie. He said he never noticed me trying to be soft, I always seemed hard to him. I found a place of peace by going to his home & being with him. I would be able to go & just put my head on his shoulder, remove my masks & breathe. I felt safe, only there with him. I wouldn’t have to talk or be tough. He always seemed scared to death, it was cute. We never became an item though.

Time passed, though everyone in town knew how I felt about him, he had no idea. I moved home after not being able to take the lifestyle I was living anymore, I needed my mommy! BUT, there was not one time that I was on the interstate that I didn’t get off the exit & look for him. I have 4 sons, all of them have been shown the house where my best friend, My Frankie lived & the park where he & I spent some time together. I only lived in his town one year, he not only was the best part of my time there, he stayed a huge part of my life & never left my heart.

In 2007, again on the interstate, I just “had” to stop at the Home Depot. I also just happened(God’s direction)to go down a lane where the cashier looked familiar, I to her also. It was his sister.

A quick how are you & I needed to know, “where is he?”

“He’s in prison” I’m thinking a minor infraction, county jail.

She tells me murder. I felt like someone kicked me in my throat. My Frankie, my protector, my adorable nerd with braces would even kick a cat let alone never murder anyone. At this time in my life, suffering from horrible depression, & was in a miserable marriage, the biggest mistake of my life. I knew I would not be able to reach out to him, not even a letter. For 6 months at least, almost everyday, I’d look his name up on the inmate locator to look at it. So heartbroken that I couldn’t let him know, I am here if he needs me.

He had an altercation with a man who was trying to break into his home and was also a convicted child molestor. The man had a plate in his head that shifted  and later died. Shortly before this incident, it was discovered that he   was in a consensual relationship with a minor who fabricated her age at their place of employment. He was black she was white, her mother found her diary

The girl parents had charges pressed, he   had many character witnesses, this did nothing.

An amazing facet, which there are so many in our story, was during his entire ordeal, I never once saw or heard anything about My Frankie. I had seen others on the news & read about people in the paper. I know that God protected me from this, He wanted me to only know My Frankie as he had shown him to me 25 years ago. Frankie was going to need this more than me actually. I praise Him for that. Someone could show me video of the Frankie that got lost along the way, & he will still forever be my good-hearted best friend. Nothing nor no one will ever be able to convince me of anything else.

Within the next year, my life spiraled out of control. My mother, my rock died. I left my home w/ my sons, BUT to reconcile, because I thought that’s what the Lord wanted & I wanted to be obedient. My then husband, made it clear there was no marriage. (the Lord spoke to me before our marriage telling me, he wasn’t “the one” God had for me-I disobeyed, that’s another story!)

The last week of April 2009, walking through my kitchen He whispered “Frankie” to me. I immediately googled his name on the computer. I called the number, no fear of a wife or rejection, I knew he’d be happy to hear from me. It was his father. BUT he gave me the name of the prison where My Frankie was.

By our second letter, we knew God had returned us back into each others lives. We both were hesitant, he more than I, he’d been burnt while in prison before, and I was really hearing from God on this. To the point the Lord was telling me things to do in obedience & amazingly immediately I would see the results when I was obedient. The Lord told me, I couldn’t react to his words or attitude that hurt my feelings, I was now My Frankie’s sounding block, his outlet for what he was enduring in prison. I tell you this, each time I let my feelings get in the way of obedience, it back fired on me! God clearly told me, He would work all things out through My Frankie & to trust Him, be there for Frankie & I’d get the love I dreamt of since I was a little girl. Is this even possible with an incarcerated man?

It is possible because for the first time in our lives, we are in love with our best friend. Even more, we both love & serve Jesus. I hate confrontation, but I wouldn’t allow someone to hurt my feelings & not express it. WELL, this was a new me & I tell ya, it was/is tough! I still stumble here & there, luckily My Frankie & I have total faith God’s handling our relationship & we so quickly forgive & let go, which neither of us did in the past with others. We have full trust in each other & we know that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, as man and wife, serving Christ in whatever capacity He calls us to. We know we’ll be serving others, helping people. Sharing Jesus with the lost.

My sons, who haven’t even met Frankie, all adore him. We did not force Frankie on them or push this relationship on them, but God’s in full effect & they see the change & the joy I have just from My Frankie back in my life. My oldest three (22,13 & 8yrs) know where he is & his charges. (My oldest has met him cause he’s moving ) I went up Christmas. This will be the first Christmas anyone has gone to be with him. The same for when I went to him on his birthday, I’m the first to spend the day with him on his b-day. My youngest (6) just know he’s far away in PA & we’re praying he soon gets a job closer. This will be when he gets to the halfway house & he can actually come & meet them. My youngest is in love with him. All My Frankie does is be attentive to their interests & takes the time to talk to them. My  son   has sent him more letters & artwork than he‘s received from his own children in a decade. I feel he’s too young to fully understand, but he’s going to tell him when he’s old enough. Frankie doesn’t really like him not knowing the truth, he’s afraid he’ll see me as a liar. I know him, he’ll understand, especially with me not having a good rapport with their father, who’s involved in their lives. He still worships My Frankie-even switched his football team to Frankie’s!

I told Frankie at one time, he was my Peter Pan (he really didn’t like that, the tights thing!) he didn’t understand. I had lost all my joy & had forgotten how to play. He has me playing again. We truly feel 17 again. When we look at each other, that is who we see, the innocent 17 year old from long ago. We see past each others bad past choices completely. That is not the me and Frankie that we know or even worry about. We know each other better than any other person in our lives.  Weekly 6 hour “dates”, daily letters and phone calls helps you get to know someone, their desires, hurts and everything in between. We consider this our courting.

Its like we’ll die if we have to go a day without talking to one another. We love each others children as our own & pray for one day we all to be living together. And that someday the Lord may bless us with one of our own. I’m adopted so I always thought one day I’d adopt also. My darling Frankie would never be approved, though he’s the greatest father I know. So we are praying for that miracle. God’s done so many already, I believe in my heart, this is in store for us also. We have the same ambitions & desire for serving. Our family values are the same. My father & sister also accept him & don’t look at him as a convict. He has no label in my entire family. He’s just My Frankie.

He & I prayed long ago for a Christian & a best friend to be our lover. We never expected for it to be each other. We are so thankful to the Lord for the gift of each other. Oh, by the way, he too had a crush on me that year we became friends! We know that God kept us apart because it would’ve destroyed what we need today. What we needed was each other & God made sure we got each other & a huge family to boot. Even when we were battling against ourselves, He never let us fall too far & would repair everything within hours.

At 43 years old we both have the fairytale that we’ve always dreamed of. And our life together hasn’t even truly begun.

I know you love him & I want to  forever take care of him, love him deeply & cherish him. I’ve been assigned a mission from the Lord to help him through his transition back into society. He has to have someone who’ll love teaching him all the newness of life, who’ll be able to handle his frustrations, who’ll not look at him as any less of a man if he breaks down from what he’s had to endure over this past decade. He needed a real best friend, a woman who’ll unconditionally love & never judge him. But who can also put him in his place if he’d begin to lose focus. I can do that! Neither one of us even had any idea of what love truly is until we re-entered each others lives. Praise the Lord for that. He saved so much for Frankie & I to share together as our “first times.” Different cities to see, holiday traditions we’ve both always wanted but were unable to do & just having a real family of our own. We have so many things in common it’s uncanny. We can feel when you of us needs the other. It’s amazing how many times he’s called at an off time & just when I truly needed him! He’d say he felt that I needed him so that’s why he called. We are so connected that way.

He will never be a murderer or sex offender in my eyes, or the eyes of my family or people who really know him. He got caught up in some stupid stuff. The girl in now married to a 60 year old man. They found 1000's of pictures of kiddie **** in the victims apartment, but that couldn't come up in court. He is the best father, best friend I know. I have never be loved more than I have from him. HE IS NO SOCIOPATH!

That just cracked me up! I guess, David, Paul and Moses were sociopaths too. But God sure used them, didn't He?

He called my father 2 Thursday's ago and asked him for his blessing and permission to marry me. The next day on our "weekly date" he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.

There is nothing I am more sure of in this life then that I was made from his rib to be his wife.

 

 

 

 

rideoutgirl rideoutgirl
41-45, F
11 Responses Mar 9, 2010

Your story gave me chills.. Im also in love with an imate.. He's in new jersey and i live in louisiana.He has a 15 yr sentence. i met him in 2006 when i was living in alaska and he will be released in 2013. I know what you mean when you said about yalls connection. That's how we are. It's like we know each other so well that without seeing or speaking to one another, there's this feeling that you get when you know something isnt right with one another. Its hard to explain to people that isnt in this type of relationship. U know what.. We are ALL one bad decision away from being that person on the other side of the prison wall. I truly wish you and frankie all this best and your not alone.

We met through his cousin and I can still see him sitting on the sofa and how I could see into his soul through his eyes almost 26 years ago....................<br />
<br />
NO I AM NO WHERE NEAR AFRAID OF HIM HURTING MY OR ANYONE ELSE'S CHILDREN! He did NOT rape, molest or abuse anyone. IT WAS CONSENSUAL sex with a girl who lied about her age. He is no ********* and would NEVER hurt children. The female even testified on HIS behalf.

My response to Tsky-First of all, he did not know that she was underage and at the time he didn't know Jesus as his Lord and Savior. <br />
And I would LOVE to know where you received your psychology degree to diagnose me.<br />
Maybe it is that YOU have never experienced the true love of another, love of Christ or felt His grace, mercy and redemption. <br />
Only someone who is clearly not happy with themselves would be so quick to label another. <br />
You don't have to hope if it'll be fine, because it gets more and more fine everyday.

I'm sorry. But you sound very co-dependent. If he loves Jesus so much then why was he sleeping with an underage girl? I hope everything turns out well for you.

That truly is an amazing testimony!! I am glad that you both have a desire to serve Jesus with both your lives. This is truly God's provision for a life partner for you. He's taken the pieces of both your lives and your mistakes and made it into a grand, fruitful, loving testimony of His love and care and provision for both of you. May you both continue to prosper in you relationship with each other and with your families.

Wow, what an amazing story! Your story was not posted when the first few of us commented. May God continue to abundantly bless you, your family, and your Frankie! Is that him in the picture?

HE IS NO SOCIOPATH! That just cracked me up! <br />
I guess, David, Paul and Moses were sociopaths too. But God sure used them, didn't He?

I added our story. check it out!

Sounds to me like you're in love with a sociopath. That is a dangerous individual to be involved with. Check out Lovefraud. its a blog for people who've been with sociopaths. ...there are excellent articles there about people in your shoes

Do you have children? If so are you concerned about this person harming your children? If not, are you concerned that you may be held accountable for any possible future crimes?

So... how'd you guys meet?