I Am A 22 Year Old Virgin Afraid To Get Intimate. Ask Me Anything

Basically I just feel weird touching people period.  Even hugging my friends feels a little weird for me.  The thought of being completely naked in front of someone just freaks me out. I dont' really mind being a virgin though.  I don't broadcast it so its not a big deal, and you can't miss what you've never known.

SerenaDragonfly SerenaDragonfly
22-25, F
17 Responses Mar 15, 2010

This is so me and my friends tag me as an anti-social person. They made me hate myself for not being 'normal'.

I would like to know everything about you including your medical history

Oh calm down. You're 22? I was 41 before I lost it. It's not such a big deal. I had many opportunities to have sex before, but it didn't feel "right", you know? I was smart enough to see that the majority of the guys I'd date just wanted to get laid. I was also the ultimate tease (and I don't recommend that you do this-I know that it's wrong, but it was fun!)-guys thought they were going to use me for sex, but really I was using them for my own private kicks. I was a virginal *****.

personally although i do not like my body, i am still comfortable showing people my body and receiving physical pleasure. i feel that people already know my physical flaws through the silhouette of my clothing. for example, a guy asks me out and im wearing a t-shirt with a very thin bra underneath, when he takes off that bra, he is going to see the same size breasts. receiving pleasure is fun and should be enjoyed by everyone

I am a mature woman and I say....relax and move towards your total female empowerment naturally. Love your body, learn your body, know it very very well before you share yourself in that way....total intimacy with yourself will free you to become confident sexually....and remember that there is no rush for intimacy with a partner until you feel that you are strong, powerful, and capable of knowing when and where and how (or if) you want to lose your viriginity.. In the old times, a womans life was said to be divided into three parts, the virgin, the matron, the crone....embrace and celebrate each phase of this glorious life....fully experience your virgin years and make it very meaningful when you decide to move to the matron phase. Don't just "do it" to be able to say..."well I did it" You are the creator of your beautiful life, make it lovely, make it all that you ever dreamed of. Never settle, wait for the person that is right for this wonderful moment in your life as a woman. Don't be modest either, when you find the person, and you know it, talk it over, make "the event" go just as you want it to go. Claim the moment! Write your own history. <br />
Claim Your Body, and Your life, own your sexuality, give your sexual power to no one....celebrate that you are young and beautiful and powerful. Feel and experience your virginity as a wonderful and wise fact of your life for now and be happy. When the timing and the person is right, you WILL desire to be naked, and you will feel perfectly powerful and perfectly desirable in your own skin. Blessings and Care, HBC

I'm scared of somone even just seeing my stomach, i alway cover everypart of me up. He asks me why am i afraid and i don't know why i am it annoys me that i am like it and i don't really know why feelings .:/

Well said.

Being naked is actually empowering, because it is just you, warts and all. Not what you can buy to hide you.

joesdog-I can see why you might think that but the answer is no. My best friend is a guy, I had a bunch of guy friends in high school. I'm comfortable around guys as long as they aren't hitting on me. I do think if I were to ever get close to a guy in that way he'd have to be a friend first. I think you get to know someone differently if they start out as your friend rather than your date. Only problem with that is, if a guy becomes your friend first, it might complicate things if you try and make it go further. I only ever had a crush on one of my guy friends, and that didn't happen until after years of knowing him. He didn't feel the same way about me, and looking back I'm kind of grateful to that. I have the feeling that dating him would have probably ruined the fun friendship we had.

I think that this is as much an issue of building up the problem in your mind into impossibly enormous proportions, when the reality is much less impressive. I'd say the answer is that you need to be friends with a guy for awhile and not worry about the whole romance thing. Is it possible that you've not been around a lot of guys - as friends - in the past, and so you view men as just ob<x>jects of romance? Maybe you need to just hang with a guy (or guys) for a while and see how we are so you can relax. <br />
<br />
I'm biased, of course, but I think that getting a gay male friend might be useful here. You get to hang around a guy, he doesn't come on to you, and he can advise you about the other men you meet. You get more comfortable hanging with guys, and you get good advise from someone that knows men. win/win, imho.

You communicate well.

The most important thing is that when you look yourself in the mirror your 100% sure that your better looking than all the other girls.When you feel that way you will act that way and when you act that way you will look like that and people will see it

Caitlynbi-yeah its body issues too. I don't mind undressing in front of friends or family (hell, I change clothes in my kitchen even when I've got people in the next room) But it worries me that a guy might see me under there, take a look at my stretch marks and my flabby areas and judge me for it. I am working on the body image. Lately I've been doing lots of cardio exercise. There has been a big difference since I started. I can't quite bring myself to diet though.<br />
<br />
2weird4most-I know with my maturity level back then its hardly surprising that whenever I got a boyfriend I didn't know what to do, but now I still freak out a little when my friends try and fix me up with a guy and I don't like it when guys flirt with me, but I've always been shy when it comes to meeting new people, meeting someone new and having them flirt with me is extra weird. I know I could miss out, so I've tried dating a little, but for me, going on a date is the equivalent of going to a job interview, and I hate that.

hmmm i can kinda relate, but i think you just were thinking into it waaay too much when you were in school then it put the expectency up, then that put loads of pressure on yourself from thin air, and i can advise you not to just forget about it, sex may be overrated but the other things that come around it you may start pining for later in life and regret you didnt get it earlier on... i dont know you ofc but ive seen people with similar issues turn out the same... your goal should be just to let go a little, theres nothing wrong with you, i just dont like for people like you to miss out on simple things we all want when less deserving ones get it

lacking confidence is probably an issue too, but I've always been shy. Every time I've gotten close to a guy and then he started showing a bigger interest than friendship I shut down on him. I used to be a big romantic. In school I was obsessed with getting a boyfriend, but whenever I got one I felt really weird about it, no matter how nice the guy was. Now I just avoid the boyfriend thing all together.

Maybe just do it in the dark? Juts a suggestion. :]

do you have any idea why you are like this?<br />
<br />
maybe you just need some confidence in yourself :)