I Am An Untreated Schizophrenic. Ask Me Anything.

People have always been hesitant about asking me questions when they found out about my illness. But really, if you got a question, spit it out! I want to know it. You can ask me anything at all, no matter how personal.

crackcocaine crackcocaine
18-21, F
15 Responses Mar 16, 2010

Do you think of yourself as one or multiple intelligent entities?

have you ever asked urself if everyoe else is insane and not you?

They usually don't like to be seen, but most of them just look like regular people. Some are giant animals or ob<x>jects.

what do these people look like?

Yes, I have seen them. It depends on the day, really. Sometimes they hate me, sometimes they don't.

Have you ever seen them? Do they hate you or do some of them look out for you?

"Look at me."

What was the first thing they said to you?

It can sound like both. Most of the time, it's like regular people. I hear at least ten different voices. They are half and half: female and male. Their names are: KissKiss, Britney, Tick Tock, Monitor, Layla, Hannibal, the Grim Reaper, JayJay, Cerberus and Jack. If I talk to them...Well it depends on their mood. Sometimes they answer me, that is if they're happy with me. The first time I heard them I just thought it was somebody in real life talking to me. I wasn't frightened. I have not come to accept it yet. I still struggle everyday and argue with them and myself daily. Most of my family do know about it, and friends as well. If someone wants to know why I'm hurting their child in public, or stealing money from them, my guardians have to explain.

Do they sound like regular people or like creepy horror film voices? How many different voices do you hear, what gender are they, have you named them or have they given you their names? Can you talk to them and will they answer back? What was it like the first time you heard the voices and how did you come to accept them as a part of you? Do other people know about it?

I sometimes hear noises, like a floor creaking or a train or static. <br />
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Everyone tells me they're in my head, but I fully believe it's all on the outside.

Do you have any other hallucinations besides hearing voices?<br />
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Do you believe that your hallucinations come from your subconscious or from someone or something outside yourself?

I'm sorry. Pardon my ignorance, but could you please state that more simply?

Some people say that schizophrenia is really an issue of filters...that what people who have schizophrenia experience is reality unfiltered, and that the rest of us have a set of built in filters that keep us from perceiving the things that they do. What's your take on that?

Yes, I do. They tell me to hurt, or even kill some people. Like, people that make me do something I don't want to do. And some voices I can't even comprehend...Other voices say that someone is after me, someone is trying to kill me, someone is under my bed or in my closet. A lot of voices like to scream randomly.<br />
I hear Tick Tock and Monitor arguing, too. God, that's annoying! Tick Tock always wins though. Oh, jeez, and Hannibal, KissKiss, the Grim Reaper and JayJay are in my head, too, if that's what you want to call it. The way I hear it, they're all around me.