What Should I Do?

I've been dating this guy, its a long distance relationship. He does not have a job, does not go to school and has gotten his high school equivalence since he is a drop out. I, on the other hand, am about to graduate from a university in a few months. I love this person but he has no ambition in his life and no goals, he is living off his parents and says he will return to school but has not done so.

There is another guy at my school that is always talking to me online, he wants to hang out with me. He has invited me over to parties which I never go to or to watch movies with his house mates in his apartment. I am not sure if he likes me. I think he is very handsome and kind and I think I'm beginning to develop feelings for him.

I feel horrible because I am beginning to have feelings for this other guy and I have been very kind to him in our chats, nothing flirty. I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend.

I think my boyfriend is emotionally abusive to me. I am not sure. He has done many things to hurt me. He has broken many promises, one time he said he wanted to see me but since he doesn't have a job he couldn't buy a plane ticket. He offered to sell his TV that he doesnt use to buy a ticket, but he never did so he had to beg his brother to buy him a ticket. He has been a financial burden on me and his family. While he was here, we were looking at apartments and I made him look for a job, I even made him a pathetic resume to distribute. He got a few applications that he never returned. Every time we fight about something, like his broken promises and failure to do something with his life, he always ends up blaming me for HIM hurting me. He tells me that he is looking for a job but no one has called him and that I SHOULD not be mad at him cause I've seen how hard hes tried. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to break up with him but I can't.

He is currently here and he was supposed to leave today but he didn't. He says he cares about me but when I am sitting there sobbing all he can think of is himself. His response to me crying is that I need to think of his feelings when I am clearly drowning in my own tears. I get so frustrated I even want to drive a knife inside of me and sometimes I begin banging my head on the wall.

I don't know what to do anymore? I want to break up but every time I've tried, he has come back and told me everything was going to change, it changes for a while and then he goes back. He can't even sacrifice a damn TV to see me. I've sacrificed more than 2,000 dollars while he was here. I don't know how to break up with him and I am not sure if this is an emotionally abusive relationship? I need help.
WinterSkies WinterSkies 18-21 3 Responses May 4, 2011

Your Response


P.s your not at fault for letting him use you..

Your not to blame... if you find yourself in an abusive relationship. It happens. Men can reel you in and then they try to blame you when it is their actions not yours that are at fault.

Obviously the person above who says its your fault has not been in this situation. Your the victim and it's not your fault. He took advantage of your vulnerability.

Read about men and grooming so it doesn't happen again. But this is not your fault!

I was trapped in a relationship like this. I hoped things would get better and eventually married him. This was e biggest mistake of my life. I finally left but by then I'd been married for 6 years and had a child.

If you can get out of it. It may hurt but not as much as staying with him and leaving in the future. If your have doubts then it is wrong!

The good news is he is far from you and your young. I'm almost 30 and lost my twenties to a loser man. I've seen women who have been treated badly for years, in their 50s and 60s and still stay in the relationship,

Be kind to yourself and end it. You'll feel better eventually despite the awful feelings. Read up on emotional abuse and economical abuse. This is an abusive relationship.

It can take12-13 attempts before a women finally leaves an abusive relationship.

Please love yourself block him on social sites, change your number, avoid contact. You can do it.. Fr yourself your future and your future family/love.

If you feel mental now imagine how you'd feel in years to come.

I'm so messed up now, I suffer from chronic pain and tiredness and anxiety. I have qualifications and can't hold a job. Please leave this person before your life is ruined.

You are at fault for letting this boy use you. You don't uave a boyfriend. You have been tricked. Stop giving him money! Deal with the one you can feel. Get out of the mindgame!