Reflecting...

I wasn't sure where to pop this story so just thought I'd pop it here until I figure it out...

This morning, as time ticked dangerously closer to wake up time, he pleasured me with his fingers, as I lay there sleepily...I didn't want it to stop.

For some reason it brought back memories of a time when xRocks and I lived in a sexless marriage...yes, shock horror, we did! Poor xR, I wasn't interested in sex for a number of years...and to pinpoint the reason would be difficult...but that's another story..

During that time, I still enjoyed being pleasured, touched, cuddled, loved, caressed...all the things that lovers do, but going anything further than that was something I didn't desired...it must have been a tease for xR...only I didn't see it like that at the time. Of course, he'd see it as a sign that he might get lucky and always tried to take things further. In the end I was continually left feeling guilty for having led him on and, and despite still loving his attention, began associating his touch as a negative...

Looking back it was one big vicious cycle that probably prolonged this period in our lives long after my desire returned...it took some time for me to trust that each kiss, touch, hug wasn't something that would lead into sex

...it breaks my heart to think of this now...
Isshe Isshe
36-40, F
19 Responses Jul 25, 2010

Aww. I just assumed you two had been like a pair of bunnies from the beginning. These brief insights into your lives have been inspiring me. Well... it's still an inspiration that you came back from that. And I'm glad you did.<br />
<br />
Thanks for the link... I enjoyed reading what you did to him. You're a sadist. But what did Pamster mean by "sounding stuff"? I didn't quite comprehend that bit.

Oh dear, sadly that doesnt surprise me. Well, we're all walking different paths now, and it's lovely to see the openness between you guys, that's a huge way you've travelled.

lol...<br />
<br />
yes...i have often thought about you when I think back to how things used to be...

Oooo - this is very touching Isshe. There is definitely hope for anyone in a sexless marriage. Life is full of ebbs and flows, and as you describe getting too caught up in the past stops us from engaging in what is available to us now. It's nice to see you guys have moved onwards and upwards (or downwards.... ;) oops - I promised myself no jokes, I seem to get into all kinds of mess with them :/

We'll have to organise a session near a bloody good restaurant somewhere!

I'd be your slave anytime xRocks....especially if it was to include red mud crabs...

Isshe how'd you feel about the welted bottom and breasts? How far can we go for chill mudcrabs?

P.S. thanks for the hug AP.

Andrew....HP sauce, mash potatoes, peas gravy....that's gourmet...I was just going to give it to you in a brown paper bag with tomato sauce squirted on top (which always gets stuck to the bag top - requiring you to stick your fingers in to lick it out)<br />
<br />
I want to be a slave in one of your stories! sound a lot like chilli mudcrabs....yum...one of my favs...<br />
<br />
x

Pamster, do we have a male or female slave here??? <br />
<br />
I will have to check my domestic arrangements.<br />
<br />
Andrew, thank you for the affection. It's one of those things we can't change now, only make sure it never happens again!

....nah...I think he got sick of having Aussie food and had to nick off to cosmopolitan Melbourne for a gourmet food fix...<br />
<br />
he'll be back...the train is in around lunch time...I have a meat pie in the pie warmer waiting for him <br />
<br />
:)<br />
<br />
If he is lucky he might even get some tomatoe sauce squirted on top!

*laughs*

lol just as long as you're not joining that group, Isshe...<br />
<br />
and thank you Pamster.

tissue Pamster?<br />
<br />
(((hug)))<br />
<br />
...note the three arm sets on the hug <br />
<br />
:)

I hope that it might give those who are experiencing this some sort of hope....perhaps I should move it to the "I live in a sexless marriage" group...

*tears*<br />
<br />
but <br />
<br />
*smiles*

Getting through what we went through is an affirmation of the power of love.

Sure does...Thanks Pamster...

I feel sad looking back on this too. <br />
<br />
No need to explain how I felt about it ;) After a while I started giving up very easily when there was no positive reaction. It was a protection against disappointment. At the time, I became aware that it was a sort of training or conditioning for me; I hadn't also considered that all along I had been training or conditioning her. I hoped, back then, that we both wouldn't regret what we were creating.<br />
<br />
It gets me teary. We started out so tactile, with a focus on everything but sex. Then, so many lost years of intimacy.<br />
<br />
Thank goodness we're making up for it now.