Mentally Abused By My Husband

I have been mentally abused by my husband -we have been married for 31 years and he still does this no matter how many times I have been there for him during illnesses etc.  I do not want any responses from people telling me to leave-that does nothing for me-just wastes time. I would like to get together with people who are going through this so we can go out and do some fun things.  Making new friends esp ones who know what this is like is helpful to me and I would hope could be helpful to others.
haveahart3402801 haveahart3402801
5 Responses Jun 8, 2010

I can totally sympathise with you, but I bet your husband isn't as bad as mine. To everyone else he likes to go out of his way have a laugh a joke etc but when I am there he puts me down. Only last week we had a couple of friends come to stay with us that we met on holiday. I work full time and the night of their arrival they decided to have a session with the drinks, after getting up twice the latest being nearly 3am to ask them to be quiet so that I could sleep I felt totally exhausted. I only had 3 hours sleep as I was up for work at 6.30 and had to travel 18 miles to get to work. When he finally came to bed I have no idea what time is was the bedroom reaked of alcohol, they had consumed 1 and a half bottles of vodka, 2 bottles of wine and bottles of beer. My husband managed to get himself out of bed as I was leaving the house to ask me to deliver a card to his sister's house, the nerve!! I couldn't respond, there was no way as I was making a detour to take the card. When I got home they were sitting on the lawn after spending the day there sobering up and my husband with a smirk on his face said We are sorry. How was I supposed to react when they obviously felt it was amusing. It will be our 34th wedding anniversary next week, I feel I have wasted 34 years of my life.

I too am going through the same 3yrs of marriage and all I can feel is hatred for the way my husband treats me it's all about him all the time the constant having ago all the time or not talking to me for days

i know excatly how u fell , andi have been married to my husband for 19 yrs now and i am so tired. Tired of phis talking about himself , never going anywhere , he is never there for me, he drinks to much, very cruel , i just want 2 leave.<br />
I'm so scared of being alone , although sometimes being alone would be a lot better then the hell he puts me through. He yells all the time for no reason , and then he will turn around and say i'm sorry sometimes if he wants something. <br />
I just want to die sometimes bc i think that i am stuck and i don't know anyone else or any other life .

i wouldnt tell you to leave your husband, but i did feel compelled to write a comment. i was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusived my by father as did my 3 siblings and mother. you should see the negative effects that abuse relationships and how we raise our kids. none of us is speaking to each other. <br />
i was in a 5 year mentally abusive relationship...he destroyed me inside with that little bit of time and i am now seeing a therapist mainly b/c of him. <br />
i am with a nice guy now but i have deep scares and i am learning to forgive and heal.

I have also been in the same type of marriage for 34 years so I understand. I understand that<br />
at this point in your life it would benefit you to leave. You must have been a strong person and still are to deal with this on a daily basis. But that same strrength will see you through. You can't change him.<br />
You can only change yourself.<br />
<br />
You have to believe that he is sick otherwise he would not be treating the way he does. I have pity for<br />
my husband because he can't feel love like I do.