My Husband Makes Me Think I Am Nuts

I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 25. I am now 28 and he 38, We have 3 kids together. When I met him I was a happy outgoing teenager and he slowly drained the life from me. When I was younger he secluded me away from all my friends and told me they were a bad influence on me. He would call me ***** and ***** in front of my parents if i didnt do what he wanted or if I wasn't there at his every beck and call. Whenever we would fight he would call me over and over and over again until I was so frustrated I would throw the phone and break it. When he calls he is yelling and cussing me out telling me how pathetic I am and what a bad mother I am. This still continues today. We have now moved to a new city where I know no one so I have no friends my family is an hour away. If I want to get an education or go to school he tells me I am selfish and I am not thinking of my family. I slave away cleaning and cooking every single day and I am not allowed to buy anything for myself. He on the other hand, Loves to drink beer everyday and buys 2 packs of cigarettes @ 6$ eats out for lunch instead of packing and has a marijuanaaddiction that is very expensive. He is allowed to go out with his friends and get completey **** faced and never answer my calls. My toddler is very demanding and I never put her down she sleeps with me and nurses all day long if I put her down she cries I think for my sanity that just 5 minutes apart from her would be good for her and myself. I even use the bathroom holding her and bathe with her. He says its my fault but he yealls at me if she cries and when I ask him to watch her for just 5 minutes he says he is too tired and its my job. He tells me what a loser I am and that I am a fat *****. He makes me angry so we start shouting back and forth then he says some things that get me really riled up and then tells me I am psycho and to calm down while he is antagonizing me. I start to wonder if I am the problem all the time.
hatemakingusernames hatemakingusernames
5 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Leave him! now! He is not worth it!

Your not crazy. That is what they want you to start thinking. My husband says I am a psycho too but its not me its him. They want to brow beat you down until you have no self esteem left.

I am lucky for I have full support of both of my parents. My mother helped me move all of my stuff out two days ago and I am now living with them again. Thank you for all of the support. I really need it right now. I just have to keep telling myself that I deserve better. Atleast I am not living with him in the house anymore. He has blown my phone up about 60 times since then but I am not going to answer. I guess that is one way he has to control me and I am not going to let that happen to me anymore. During the past two years I have dealt with deep depression, weight gain and lost myself along the way. I am lucky also in the fact that I dont have any children either. Thanks again everyone. I dont feel so alone anymore.

sweet heart, we both have the same problem, except that i have no kids. you know the best thing is to leave him. but to do this, you need to have full support from your family, closest friends, people you can trust. who is he to put you down like that.... no matter how much you clean or cook or wipe his a$$ each time after he ****** or $hits, he is never gonna appreciate anything that you do. if you ever tell him how much you took care of the house, he'll say that you are complaining and not doing your job right. see what a loser he'll become once you leave him for good.... he is never going to change, i'm telling you that.... please listen to me as i am dealing the exact same thing that you are dealing.... be brave. i'm here if you need me.....

Peace be upon you,<br />
<br />
Dear I have gone trough severe mental abuse EVERYDAY during 2 years. Please it is NOT your fault! YOU MUST set boundaries, but be safe! I donot know how physical your husband is but if you know he won't hurt you, set boundaries PLEASE!!! Please search for "Living Smart with patricia gras" about Candy Perez advise for abused women. I have been looking past days exetensively for how to recognize verbal abusers. Please live in dignity for your sake and that of your daughter! Set boundaries:<br />
1. No denigration, humiliation, putting down, critisizing<br />
2. No yelling, name calling<br />
3. No threats<br />
4. No control<br />
Tell him "If you do any of the above, I will not respond to your request, and I will move to another room! I feel terribly abused by what you say, and it batters me TERRIBLY! YOU undermine my self esteem, my happyness, and I have decided to promiss myself NEVER to allow anyone do that to me wether parents, boss, or husband! If you still want me in your life, you will have to stop ALL the above, and you must follow therapy, and make me happy!"<br />
Write down day by day, in a secret book ALL you feel, all he said bad, and keep all dates!<br />
<br />
Please let me know about your search.<br />
<br />
My prayers are with you, and if you wish help, we can sustain each other on our way to a life of dignity within our marriages, amen.<br />
<br />
God bless you,