I Have A Hard Time Letting Go.

I was with my ex for five years I mean five years of hell.He beat me had my mind going in so that I feared when He walked in a room yet I just could not let him go .Sure I would kick him out but always take him back.I do not know why I am a pretty woman woman and when people at work would tell me how there man was mean or hit them I would tell them to leave him.No one should treat a woman like that and mean it yet I my self be treated like xxxx  So what do I  DO  I call him my ex because six months ago he walked out and yes I missed him but I start to feel better about me and it was hard but I like me now .He is back trying so hard to get back in my life i know this all may sound nuts y tou but it just feels better fo put down on paper ,can any one feel me thanks I feel better already thanks for the ear
lginsburg lginsburg
41-45, F
2 Responses Aug 17, 2010

I don't know exactly what you feel because I am not you but I have experienced a similar situation. Sometimes I want to go back. I keep hoping that the man I fell in love with will somehow reappear and that everything will be better. Lately my heart hurts I mean it hurts. He has made me feel so low so bad about myself, to the point where I wanted to take my own life. I gave him everything of me for three years and it resulted with me being mentally and emotionally broken to pieces. To be honest I would still be there with him but I am just so tired of hurting. I wrote a letter to him just to get him out of my system and after doing so I felt enpowered, it says .................<br />
I don't have to feel this way about myself anymore. You have no power over me anymore. I am moving on. I will not cry over you another day. I will not wake up in your bed any longer loathing myself as you leave me. I will not listen to the negative things you say any longer. I will fly like an Eagle and soar. No more sleeping with the enemy. I am free from you. <br />
I didn't give this to him but it helped me let go of a lot of fear and feel in control of my life. Maybe you can do the same. Write a letter to him, you don't have to give it to him. Just let it go somehow.

AWwww I feel both of your pain ;(