No Where To Go.

I never got along with my dad.  He is the yelling type.  Not all the time, but I would never know what would set him off.  He never abused me physically, but mentally, another story.  It seems I upset him alot.  Most of my life he'd get mad at me, even if I didn't do anything.  I have done some stuff that I am ashamed of and deserved him getting upset at me.  He seems unforgiving about them.  I know I did dumb stuff, but I also did good stuff.  It just seems he sweats the small stuff.  I mean I was always afraid to do something for fear he will get upset.  I know I can't be doing everything wrong.  I could be making something to eat and would get mad.for the smallest things. for nothing.  It seems he can't take no for an answer.  I always felt if I said no to someone, it was a bad thing.  Even in picking friends.  I always picked friends who treated me like my father does.  I make a mistake and all hell breaks loose and I am not forgiven.  They make a mistake and they expect me not to get angry.  I feel like it is ok to treat me like crap.  The way I was always treated by my father is boiling over in friendship and jobs.  I am always getting yelled at, and getting blamed for things I did not do.   Not being forgiven for things I messed up on and sorry for.  I am scared to do something I feel is right for myself for fear he will criticize me.  
jpearl66 jpearl66
46-50, F
Jan 6, 2011