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••._.• Just To Share Your Love.••._.•

I’d sell two days worth of smiles, just to be graced by one of yours. It was never about love before you stepped onto the stage that I had been acting on my entire life. You swooped down and crashed right into my heart like a rocket ship and for a moment I lost all sense of gravity, stability and oxygen. I struggled to catch my breath as you moved inside of me, making a perfect home for yourself there inside of my soul. You seen through these eyes that have easily lied to so many other people that have crossed my street.. You saw through this smile that was a perfect costume for a very sullen girl. You saw through my words, that I’ve tricked people with so tenderly… Deep down inside the core of me you displaced the emotions I had categorized and boxed up neatly on top of each other. & With that crashing rush of emotions I almost faltered in my love for you, because it made me so weak. I’ve never been as scared to lose anyone… In the way I am scared to lose you. & somehow instead of clinging to you like I should have I pushed as hard as I could to get you away from me, from the inside of me and from my heart… But even when I said I wanted you to go, you knew I didn’t want you to go… & even when you made movements to leave, you knew you didn’t want to leave… So here we are, the days keep moving past and you are still here… I am humbled by your presence in my life, but I am also scared of all this space that you are taking… A constant struggle of allowing myself to be comfortable in these emotions… I’d sleep on the floor if our bed needed more room for you… A sacrifice of comfort to appease a love so powerful..

I lost my way, and along that long road back to a place where I could for just a moment sit still I found myself curled in your lap. Instead of sitting alone, I was sitting with you, long arms draped over me like a falling star… & I felt clean in your shelter & I felt pure. I denied feeling for so long … that now that I have these feelings they throw me off balance and I’ve fallen so many times from your lap. The things I’ve said have made a mess of things, but still this love for you undulates and evolves into something more each day…

I’d give it all up for you in a second if you asked me to. It doesn’t matter what you wanted me to give up, it could never be more valuable then what you have brought into my life. Through fear, through insecurity, through shame and desperation… I have loved you.. Through anger, through hatred, through pain & tears… I have loved you. Every scene was played with utter conviction & suddenly we have switched up and rearranged the intentions, motivations and genre of the life we are writing…

I couldn’t think of anyone else I would rather star in this role with.
LuhxLeMieux LuhxLeMieux 22-25, F Feb 25, 2011

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